Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Garter Toss Alternative

Though I wouldn't describe myself as either conservative or prudish in the slightest, my fiancee and I have decided not to partake in a garter toss ceremony. I do not take issue with it personally, but I can understand why my fiancee would not want to stick his head up my dress in front of our friends and family -- it's not quite equivalent to the bouquet toss, is it, ladies? So I'm wondering if anyone else has omitted the garter toss or, if they substituted it with a tamer practice. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated!! -Julie

Re: Garter Toss Alternative

  • I'll be wearing my garter just about my knee so I'll just lift my dress up far enough for him to slide it off.
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  • That's a good variation to wear it at a lower height -- but I think the feelings my fiancee has toward the tradition stem from the fact that it's an object that's been on your thigh all day and he's tossing it into a random group of guys. Is this a weird sentiment to have or have you experienced this too? He's not shy, he's just repulsed by the tradition. So, I'm trying to find an alternative to the garter itself. Thanks for the suggestions thus far!
  • Lots of people just skip it. I don't think I've seen it at a wedding since the late 90s.  It comes from a tradition that is quite hideous, in my opinion.  Read this:
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  • If he's just grossed out by the thought of the garter sitting on your leg all day then why not get a toss garter (a cheap garter, similar to a toss bouquet) and put it on right before you do the garter toss?If the whole tradition just doesn't appeal to him, then skip it all together, doubt anyone will miss it. Alternatively a girl on my local board couldn't find the garter that she had bought for the toss (she didn't wear it all day) so her husband just threw his boutonniere.
  • Just skip it people will either not notice or be relieved
  • I'm eliminated both the bouquet and the garter toss. I'd just let the wedding party/parents know, in case anyone asks, so they can say, "Oh, they just don't want to do it."
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  • That's ok you don't want to do it!Like the other ladies said, you could just skip it all together, or you could substitute something else in.I went to one wedding (the bride and groom were big on being silly and joksters) that hd the groom throw his on bouquet. It didn't have flowers or anything, it was more of little footballs that were designed to look like flowers and other misc. men things. It was really funny, and they both threw something into the crowd!
  • If the weird part is the pulling an undergarment off of your leg (whether it be there all day or put on right before the toss), why not just have him carry the toss garter all day in his jacket pocket. When it's time to toss, you do the bouquet, then he throws the garter.That way you don't have to sit down and have him fiddle around under your dress and he won't have to feel embarrassed. If you still want to skip it, just skip it. You don't need to substitute anything unless you & your FI want to. I seriously wanted to omit the bouquet and garter toss altogether, but FI really wanted to do them. So I conceded and it actually was a really fun part of the night.
  • We aren't doing a 'garter removal' per se. He'll take mine off once we are in the privacy of our hotel room but we will have a toss garter set aside to throw. Also, we both hated being the 'single' ones in the crowd and being pulled up for all to see so we are changing the toss portions to include everyone - single or not. The women will get a breakaway bouquet of candy flowers and the men will get something that the garter will be put around/tied to/whatever once we think of something the guys would want.
  • I've been to several weddings where there was a bouquet toss, but no garter toss, so that wouldn't be strange at all.  We aren't doing either one, but are thinking of another idea which might be fun for your fiance and his friends as well (especially if they're sports fans):  you could have him toss a ball (or one of those stuffed footballs or basketballs), and whoever catches it will be the first to have their favorite team win a championship (rather than be the first to marry).   The guys might be more into it, and seems like a fun alternative.  Good luck with whatever you decide!
  • I've been milling this one over for a while as i too don't want to do the gater toss. I was thinking of something semi usefull to the guys. maybe instead of the garter a pair of earring or some sort of jewerly intended for the guy to give his "lady of intrest" and instead of FI throwing it i would do it. If we do that i kinda wanna  have FI throw something out to the ladies of some use. maybe a boquet made out of make-up or something....
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