Name changes after marriage...

LatteKitten

When DH and I were planning the wedding we were undecided about whether or not I should change my last name. I didn’t really want to, and DH didn’t think I should “just for the sake of tradition”. About a week before the wedding DH thought that maybe we both should change our last names to something unique, leaving both our family names behind. With all the last minute wedding details we didn’t really put a whole lot of thought into it so we didn’t do it. I ended up going traditional and taking his family name. Well, now we are both sort of regretting it, and wishing we had both changed our last names. Did you or any couples you know go this route? How did the family/friends react? Especially the DH’s friends and family? How would you deal with negative/nasty comments about it?

Leah&Christian09

I just kept my own name. People can think whatever they want. When they say things to me, I say "Oh, I wasn't aware I was supposed to take a poll before I decided what to do with my own name." It's rare, though. I know a couple that mushed their names when they got married. Like if she was Jones and and he was Smith, they became the Smones. People seem to think it's really neat and creative. If you decide to go that route, do it soon before people get used to your new name. You'll probably have to go through legal name change proceedure, but it isn't that awful.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm not changing my last name and he's not changing his. It's not that unusual, really, and my parents already know I decided to keep my name 10+ years ago.FYI you don't HAVE to change your name as soon as you get married. You can wait and do it a year later or five years later or never.I know some people who's parents decided to just make up a name and give it to their kids. It was pretty cool, but that's a bold move. I'm considering combining FI's last name with mine into a new name for our kids, but we'll see if he and his family go for that. His best friend has 1 daughter with his last name and 1 daughter with his wife's last name. Tons of naming options.Anyone who insults something as personal as a person's name is just being extremely rude.

handfast4me

I didn't change my name, for either my first, 18 year marriage, or my recent marriage 18 months ago.  However, my first husband changed his legally about a month after our wedding.  And that was nearly 25 years ago!  There were no nasty comments, and no one reacted.  Seriously, the only time it will matter is when you're doing something at work, or something legal (signing your name on mortgage paperwork, for example) or if you're being introduced to someone.   We did encounter one issue, though, and that was when we were sending out Christmas cards that first year.  A few people didn't understand who we were, but they were mostly friends of my ex-husband's family.  As I recall, they were also the same people who gave us a used set of sheets as a wedding present.  Go figure. 

Bobbysprncss

I will be adding his last name to the end of mine. I love my middle name and have a very unique last name, but I wanted to take his name so I am just adding his to the end of mine.

duckie1905

I took his name, which was fine with me, but you both need to do what feels right.DH wouldn't have considered changing his name to mine or anything else so that never would have worked for us.As for negative comments, screw them.  You don't need to justify a personal decision like that to anyone.

mmm_080809

I took his name right after we got married, regretted it, fretted about it for a week, and then went back and hyphenated it. I feel much better now about my decision. So yes, it is possible to change your name again if you're having second thoughts. You just can't do it too often - there's a lifetime limit of 10 social security cards that can be issued to a person. We have friends who decided to combine their names. So if he was Smith and she was Jones they are now Mr. and Mrs. Jonesmith. Their names were both short German-sounding names so when combined it didn't look awkward at all. I did hear some people question their decision at first (mostly questioning what his overly conservative parents must have thought about him changing his name!) but a year after their wedding, the name has grown on us and it fits them so well it's not a big deal at all. Just keep in mind that while a woman can easily change her name after marriage, it's not always so easy for a man to do so. In some states, in order for your husband to legally change his name he may have to file a petition with the county probate court for a name change. It's not too difficult, but does cost a little extra money and requires a little more legwork.

phoeny_moonstar

FH is thinking about changing his last. I really hate my own last name so whatever he decides to do/not do is what my last name will be. But I would tell people to STFU if my FH wanted to change his last name to mine or whatever in your situation.