Unity Candle Alternative

LaurenEoghan

  I'm getting married next year, and we're having a borderline wedding (not strict traditional, but not super excentric or anything). I'm looking for an alternate idea to a unity candle/sand ceremony. We'd like to have something symbolizing our unity, but not in those traditional ways. I'm American and he's 100% Irish. Something combining cultures would be neat, but nothing cheesy and stereotypical like shamrocks or rainbows... Ideas???

bethsmiles

Well the wedding symbolizes your unity. Personally I would just skip a unity candle/sand ceremony or any other sort of alternative.

trix1223

I'm of the opinion that the entire wedding service IS a unity ceremony, so I wouldn't add anything.  My DD was married a year ago.  They didn't have a unity "anything" and gosh....they're still married.  And their ceremony was lovely.

mysticl

I think those "unity" things are actually fairly new "traditions". 

I had never even heard of the sand ceremony till I started planning my wedding.

kalizoomba

How about a unity cross? You'll have to look it up on google or somewhere, I saw it in a magazine. 

Or how about doing drinks of some kind. I read somewhere that one person could have white wine, the other red, mix them, take a sip. Then serve the resulting pink wine as your signature wine.  If you're not into alcohol, use white and red grape juice or colored water, then have punch the same color as the resulting color.

mrsalbee

You could always go with the unity candle but make it fun! You could decorate the middle candle with things/pictures/quotes that are a mixture of the both of you. While the two smaller taper candles could represent something about you/your culture individually. His candle could be the colors of Irelands flag! Yours could be your favorite color/pattern. Good luck! HTH

littlelion

I was told about something called a Hand Ceremony, which is apparently really sweet and makes everyone cry ;-). From what I hear the officiant wraps your hands together in ribbon or perhaps you just hold them, and he blesses your hands and says "This is the hand you'll hold for the rest of your life...etc." It could also be sort of reminiscent of a Claddagh ring, which I is Irish, right? 

Here's one link I found about it: http://www.weddingministerct.com/wedding-hand-blessing-ceremony.htm

adrianne619

We're not having a unity candle...but we are reading a poem together and sort of "demonstrating" the poem with a vase of rose petals that will have our rings inside....
okay that sounds weird..
There is a poem that talks about giving away pieces of yourself to everyone, but you always hold one peice until you know exactly who its meant for, because you become whole when your "pieces" join together.  So we have a square vase of rose petals that we will scatter around the "altar" area while we recite, and pull out our rings at the end. 
We're not doing a church ceremony, obviously, but I think it will be a creative alternative to the sand or unity candle. 

let me know if you'd like to see the poem

wiwicaty

I can't imaging anything more unifying than exchanging vows and rings, so I'll stop there. Plus for some reason the candle thing sounds a bit tacky to me and just in the way of things.

You should try looking for an article or a Knot Live Episode that talks about it, you might find the idea you're looking for. I was looking for a bouquet/garter toss alternative the other day and found an article that suggested hiding a ring in one of the cake slices as an alternative.

Hope this helps!

JenO24

i never planned on doing a unity candle, but we're getting married on the beach so we're doing a sand ceremony (picking up sand from exactly where were standing) so to me that will be something really special to take home w/ us and cherish for years to come.

julieb1217

I heard about something called the Oathing Stone.  During your vows, you hold onto a stone and the idea is that the vows are then "set in stone."  We're both geologists, so we're fond of that idea.

whereyat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_unity-candle-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:14809470-3d01-4ec0-ac16-5c4c7675b532Post:e1fad47c-36e0-4ac6-ac4e-0bb49272e556">Re: Unity Candle Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard about something called the Oathing Stone.  During your vows, you hold onto a stone and the idea is that the vows are then "set in stone."  We're both geologists, so we're fond of that idea.
Posted by julieb1217[/QUOTE]

That is super cute <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />