Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

telling my father i'm walking down the aisle alone - need advice!!

I don't have a good relationship with my father. He's an alcoholic & is very condescending, never supportive & takes every chance to cut me & my sisters down. Despite his demeanor, I've refrained from cutting him out of my life because he is my father.

However, with my wedding approaching, I feel like just because he is my father doesn't mean he's entitled to walk me down the aisle. Honestly the idea makes me angry. I've heard from others that he says he doesn't support me getting married, which is pretty much in line with all of his actions throughout our engagement. 

I'm sure he thinks its his right to walk me down the aisle. I decided that rather than leave it til the rehearsal & have all the vemon spewed at me the night before my wedding, I'd get it out of the way now so he knows what to expect & I won't have all the stress I'm feeling over it until my wedding day. Any advice on the best way to break it to him?

I was thinking something like "Dad I need to let you know about my ceremony plans. I am planning to walk alone down the aisle. I've been independent for a long time now & don't feel the custom of being "given away" is relevant."  Maybe it sounds horrible & informal but I don't want it to be an attack on why I don't want him involved - I want to keep the peace a little.  I'm also worried that I'm going to hear "how could you do this to your father" for the next 3 months but I could deal with that I guess (my family has the brush it under the rug attitude)

My fiance & I have compromised & changed our plans on nearly every aspect of our day to please everyone else, can't I just have the ceremony be exactly what we want? It's the only thing we wouldnt let anyone touch.

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