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Customs and Traditions

Walking down the aisle

I've been going back and forth between just having my father walk me down the aisle, or both my mother and father together.  I'm extremely close to my mom since I lived with her growing up and she raised myself and my younger brother herself.  I've gone back and forth between being close to my dad, farther apart, and then semi-close again.  I'm also not sure what the most politically correct way of telling my dad that I want him and my mom both to walk me down the aisle is (if that's what I choose to do).  Any advice on this?  I greatly apreciate anyones help!

Re: Walking down the aisle

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-aisle-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c9d189f-c83c-4e50-87f1-da1b690b1362Post:d23d0747-2fe4-4698-90e7-d106eb419836">Re: Walking down the aisle</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want both of your parents to walk you down the aisle then do it. I really am not a fan of the part way thing. Its awkward and unnecessary. Just speak to your parents about it like an adult and they will understand<strong>. Don't make it about the negatives in the relationship with your dad but about the positives in your relationship with your mom.
    </strong>Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.  If you focus on the positive reasons why you want your mom involved as well, then your dad will probably take it a little better.  If you say something along the lines of "both of you contributed so much to making me who I am today that i thought it was only right to have both of you walk me down the asile"  he will probably be fine with it.  If you go with the "well you and I havent always been close and mom really raised me"  then you are risking him getting offended. 

    BTW I think that in your situation I would definitely have to say that I think you should have both of them walk you.  It also sounds like that is what you really want to do anyway. 
  • I think you should have both of them because it sounds like thats what you really want.  I just saw someone on 4 weddings yesterday who had her mom and dad walk her down the isle and I thought it was sweet :)
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  • This is really a personal decision that only you can make. However, from your thread, it sounds like you really want both of them to walk you down the aisle. I think it is a really good choice and you can't go wrong.

    In fact, it is becoming more and more popular for both parents to walk the bride down the aisle or even walk with her husband to be.
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  • Having both your parents walk you down really is a very touching.  Sounds like this would be a great choice for you. 
  • I voted for both parents, I am super close with my mom and not so much with my dad so I decided to have them both walk me. My mom was upset at first because she really wanted to do it alone but I just explained my feelings and she eventually relented.
  • If you're closer to your mom than to your dad, then why would you want to exclude her?  Just because traditionally it's only the dad?  Eh, I think your personal relationships are more important.  Have them both, I'm sure it will mean a lot to your mom to be included.
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  • You could do what we did at my first wedding.  The groom's father and mother escorted him, and my parents both escorted me.  That way, it's more about acknowledging both of your origins, and less about being "given away" like a piece of property.
  • This is such a personal decision. I just don't think that it is appropriate that you ask others to weigh in on this. Every relationship is different. Personally, I was raised by my mother. My father went out of his way to avoid seeing me or paying court mandated child support when I was younger. 20+ years later and we are  very close with no hard feelings on my part. I have chosen my mom to be my matron of honor (or mistress of awesome as I have dubbed her). My father will walk me out (as there is no actual aisle). Not everyone would understand this. You should do what feels right to you.
  • Thanks for the help ladies.  I know it's a personal decision, I was just curious what others thought, and especially if anyone else had gone through something similar.  I had been leaning towards having them both walk me for a while I just hadn't made up my mind and needed a little advice and help.

    I wouldn't focus on the negative in mine and my father's relationship.  We actually have a decent relationship now that I'm older, and I don't think he'll think it's out of line or anything if I explain as that they're both important to me so I want them both to walk me down the aisle. 

    Thanks for your help ladies I do appreciate it and weighing in on everything.  I'll have to talk to my fiance about both of us being escorted by both of our parents.  Either way I'm positive I'll be having both of my parents escort me down the aisle. 
  • I would do both!
  • I'm walking down the aisle with both of my parents - I think it's a great idea! My fiance is walking down the aisle with both of *his* parents, too. His family is Jewish and it's a typical Jewish tradition to both walk down the aisle with your parents. My family isn't Jewish, so they'd never heard about it before when I explained it to them, but both my parents think it's a great idea, too. I think my mom is really glad that she gets to participate in the ceremony, too. :) And my dad wasn't hurt that both of my parents would be walking me down - just a little confused, until I explained the concept to him.
  • My parents are divorced and while I lived with my dad from 9-18, I'm closer with my mom. I've considered having both walk me, and I'm glad it seems pretty common!
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