Church fee

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:0b94fc5e-45bc-4bca-90f6-79c7e2b4fdaf">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church fee : Actually, the only agency that mandates marriage is the government.  And, they most definitely charge a fee.  People of faith choose to marry within their church. I find it interesting, and sad, that so many brides look upon a church as a venue/vendor, as opposed to a house of worship.  They really are, and should be, separate entities.  However, when a church is indeed looked upon as a venue, I don't understand why you wouldn't expect to pay for that "service" just as you would any other within your wedding planning.
Posted by mobkaz[/QUOTE]
The goverment fee is $35.
The Church fee, based on this thread, can be as high as $1,000.
See the difference?

Again, I understand where the money goes and I'm not arguing that, I just don't like that the Church tells their people that they have to get married in a Church. They're telling their people that they have to pay hundreds of dollars to be accepted.

MairePoppy

Simply Fated - The church does not require that you pay hundreds of dollars in order for you to have your marriage recognized:

Our convalidation was a small,simple ceremony, following Sat am confessions. Our parents and our children were the only witnesses. There were no flowers, musician, rehearsals or any of the other things that the typical wedding ceremony involves. The priest refused to accept our envelope, so we donated it to his favorite pet project.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:12ed6b1d-2e9e-47f8-8dd3-2205c8cb1b93">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]Simply Fated - The church does not require that you pay hundreds of dollars in order for you to have your marriage recognized: Our convalidation was a small,simple ceremony, following Sat am confessions. Our parents and our children were the only witnesses. There were no flowers, musician, rehearsals or any of the other things that the typical wedding ceremony involves. The priest refused to accept our envelope, so we donated it to his favorite pet project.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but I'm going by what's posted here before you. The lowest number I saw here was $300. I saw a few $800 and some about $1,000. I also read in this thread that they are calling them fees, now, and not donations, since they're mandatory. Your situation seems to be the exception, and not the rule, just based on what I read in this thread.

MobKaz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:394b8dc6-fe82-4db6-8a1a-16901c8ddd38">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church fee : The goverment fee is $35. The Church fee, based on this thread, can be as high as $1,000. See the difference? Again, I understand where the money goes and I'm not arguing that, I just don't like that the Church tells their people that they have to get married in a Church. They're telling their people that they have to pay hundreds of dollars to be accepted.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

My daughter married in our parish church last summer.  The "people" in our church are not told what to pay.   And, if a family offers a contribution or donation, the money is not for "acceptance" or "admission".  It is to offset normal custodial and maintenance costs.  The only "difference" I see is that in the governmental agency, a couple enters a building during <em>regular</em> working hours, to have a simple ceremony performed by someone <em>already on duty</em>.  Obviously, the fee will be nominal because few, if any, additional costs are being incurred.  A church must open its building up during non-service times, enlist the aid of several volunteers, and incur costs.  And, again, no one HAS to marry in their church.  If they choose to do so, the assumption would be that as regularly attending parishoners, they would be aware of all protocol, both liturgical and financial.

At any regular mass, family members can make their First Communion or be baptized at no cost whatsoever.

  And, I'm not sure where you pulled a government fee of $35, but I can assure you that just as any church will differ in fees or contributions, so does any governmental agency in any town of any state.

Simply Fated

 My daughter married in our parish church last summer.  The "people" in our church are not told what to pay.   And, if a family offers a contribution or donation, the money is not for "acceptance" or "admission".
Again, as I said to pp, I'm  going off of what has been said in this thread. People have said $300, $800 and a few higher totals.
By acceptance, I did not mean that to be synonymous with the word "admission." I meant acceptance in that the Catholic Church won't recognize your marriage to be valid unless it's in a church or convoluted (sp?) in one. The Church won't accept your marriage as valid, that's how used the word "acceptance."
In this thread, people have said that they are facing minimum charges and "fees." So while you are talking about your own experience, I'm talking about what people in this thread have experienced. So, while I didn't use the word acceptance to mean admission, I could have and it would make sense.


It is to offset normal custodial and maintenance costs.  The only "difference" I see is that in the governmental agency, a couple enters a building during regular working hours, to have a simple ceremony performed by someone already on duty .  Obviously, the fee will be nominal because few, if any, additional costs are being incurred.  A church must open its building up during non-service times, enlist the aid of several volunteers, and incur costs.
Volunteers shouldn't cost anything. I'm confused why a church would have to pay for volunteers.
But, anyway, I said I'm not arguing what the money goes towards. I get it, there are expenses. That's fine.

And, again, no one HAS to marry in their church.  If they choose to do so, the assumption would be that as regularly attending parishoners, they would be aware of all protocol, both liturgical and financial.
They HAVE to get married in a Church if they want the church to accept their marriage as valid, no? No one is holding a gun to their head, but that's the whole point of my first, initial point in this thread. I don't like that the Church makes them feel like they need to get married in a Church. AGAIN, I understand why there are expenses, I just don't like that the marrying couple has to spend the money to have their marriage accepted by them.


At any regular mass, family members can make their First Communion or be baptized at no cost whatsoever.   And, I'm not sure where you pulled a government fee of $35, but I can assure you that just as any church will differ in fees or contributions, so does any governmental agency in any town of any state.
What do you mean where I pulled the fee? This is the internet. I pulled it from the internet. NYC is $35. Chicago is $60. In this thread I haven't seen anything less than $300 until Maire posted. She posted after I posted.

artbyallie

Simply, the fact that you're comparing this to a JOP (I assume? Since your prices quoted are the government fees and don't include renting any sort of space) is probably why there's such a large price difference. Take away the church building, and I guarantee you most pastors and priests would not charge for a small, simple ceremony in someone's home or hospital room. A Catholic priest would have to have darn good reason, but they are willing to perform valid ceremonies in extreme circumstances outside the Church.

Riss91

You can be married during a regularly scheduled mass for FREE. If you want your own special/private ceremony (which most people do), you have to cover the costs. It's really that simple.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:fe0b43e8-11d3-4588-89e4-27114e4a87ad">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]You can be married during a regularly scheduled mass for FREE. If you want your own special/private ceremony (which most people do), you have to cover the costs. It's really that simple.
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Riss and Stage. That was my point, which I didn't make very well.

My (former) church charges the going rate for a big, white wedding, where the church will be reserved, exclusively for your guests. The church does not require the BWW. Anyone who wishes to exchange vows during a regularly scheduled mass, or following reconciliation- in our case,  is free to do so, at no cost.

My daughter will be getting married at  a city hall. The rental for a wedding ceremony is $700, plus chair rentals. She has to make her own arrangements for an officiante, musicians, decor etc...By the time she is finished with that, any of the churches mentioned above will look like a bargain.

kgrawedding

Also, while many churches have set "fees," if someone is truly in need, they will not withhold the sacrament, they will waive the fee.  However, you cannot ask them to waive the fee and then show up in a new dress and a new suit with flowers and a photographer, and talk about going to cocktails and dinner.

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:a8d9e9fd-9719-491d-86ee-04e1e3f7a47e">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church fee : Really?? You are not a parishioner yet you expect to pay the parishioner's rate?   Why not marry in your own parish? You could receive the parishioner's rate there. Sorry to hijack your post, OP!
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I get where you're coming from with this. However, I haven't lived in a single place long enough to find a parish that I fit into and become a parishioner since I left my hometown (I've moved around a lot). I also am a Catholic who became pretty inactive for several years in my early twenties before coming back to the church.  I'm starting to be really involved in the parish where I live now, and have been attending wherever I've lived for the past several years. I'm technically still on the rolls at my hometown church as a member. I'm getting married at that church because it is in my hometown, which is closer to most of our family and friends, and because I have been through every other sacrament there. It's important to me. </div><div>
</div><div>My mother was a member of that parish before I was born. She tithed 15% of her income there for over 30 years until she moved 4 years ago. Everyone there still knows her and recognizes her, she was an integral part of that church community. I was a founding member of their CYO, I love that church. It's still the one I attend when I am in my hometown. </div><div>
</div><div>So, yes, I feel as though our involvement over the years might have swung us one wedding at the parishioner price, especially as it just went up from $250 (p) or $500 (non-p) to $500 (p) or $1000 (non-p). That does not include music, flowers, altar servers, anything for the priest or their wedding coordinator that I have to use. It's just for the building. However, as a house of worship and as a place it is probably the most important thing to me, so, we're doing it.</div>

amyb140

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:a45961de-000d-4a83-8e87-630274cc63aa">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church fee : Did you marry in Rockefeller Chapel?  I love that chapel!  My son married outside in the courtyard last weekend :-)
Posted by mobkaz[/QUOTE]
Yes!!!  It's so gorgeous.  My H went to school there so it had a special connection for us too.

FlintstonePearl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:7f971429-4aba-4e81-b198-11b5686899d1">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church fee : My husband has served on church finance comittees for years. <strong> Do you have any idea how much it costs to run a church?  Airconditioning/heating costs, electric bills, custodians salaries add up to a lot of money.  It sounds to me as if $300 is a bargain price!</strong>
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This! I think you would be hard pressed to think of any other wedding service that costs less than $300. (photography, catering, limo, gown, etc.) 

mrsR12

we are having a catholic ceremony also,  $350 for the priest and $250 for the organist. 

ceceibson

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1d287068-6534-4e99-b501-649449408b2fPost:832e120c-3c4b-4db3-8387-6b1f0dcf8a44">Re: Church fee</a>:
[QUOTE]Its not that we cant afford it...because we can I just think its crazy how everyone in my family when they got married only gave a donation to the church! and now you have to pay fee, plus organist etc...and im sorry paying the altar servers is BS! they do that for service hours. Whatever thanks for everyones replies! I see things alot clearly now.
Posted by nm02155[/QUOTE]

<div>You're kidding, right?  In every single parish here, the church musician and organist are compensated for their work at regularly-scheduled Masses.  Altar servers are not. They are children and it is part of their upbringing in the faith.  </div><div>
</div><div>You are expecting people to perform their regular job duties solely for your benefit and you don't want to pay them?  Nice.</div><div>
</div><div>As for the church fee, for many years I was parish council president at our Cathedral parish.  We used to charge a nominal fee [less if you were a member, more if you weren't]. We had people joining our parish to get the lower fee, then they disappeared.  Wedding parties trashed the place, despite our rules about food & drink, picking up after themselves, etc.</div><div>
</div><div>Now the fee to use the Cathedral is $1,500 for non-members.  My brother's son got married there and they wanted me to "do something" about reducing the fee.  They aren't members [aren't even Catholic, though the bride is].  </div><div>
</div><div>If you were getting married at virtually any other non-church venue, you would be charged a fee for the venue and expected to compensate their staff/servers/etc.  Why should a church be any different?</div><div>
</div><div>And, if I may, good luck finding a Catholic church willing to host the wedding of non-members with expectations and attitude like yours.</div>