Rehearsal Dinner

ckthom2

So, I know it's customary to invite all out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner, but I have a problem with this for a few reasons:
1- I am inviting quiet a few people to my wedding who I either don't know or don't want to come because they are so far removed from me and my fiance.  This is because our parents are helping pay and they want to invite some friends of theirs who know me or the groom.  That's fine, I've agreed to let that happen.
2- EVERYONE that I am inviting is an out of town guest.  That's about 40-50 people.  I'm not from this area and have no one here I really want to invite from here.  But my fiance has about half of his guests coming from out of town, roughly 20 or so people.  So, thats about 70 guests...and we are only inviting about 110 to the wedding

The fiance wants to invite all of them to be nice, but I don't want to.  I feel like I have to invite all these people to the wedding, I can cut down on the list of the dinner the night before.  I also want to try and cut down on cost.

Any opinions on my little dilemma???  It would be greatly appreciated

toothpastechica

Its not required to invted every oot  guest.....its suggested as a nice thing to do since people who are travelling might get there the night before and have nothing to do (and haveing to pay a lot to come, let alone another meal to pay for!). If you want to and can afford it, I would definatly recommend inviting oot-ers if possible.

What is required is that you provide food for the people you are asking to take even more time out of thier lives to be at the rehersal (wedding party, close family, the pastor if you know him personally)

I am having a wedding 5 hours away from my hometown, everyone but 4 people will be oot: my rehersal dinner will only be the people at the rehersal...thus why its called a rehersal dinner. So it will just be my bridal party, thier significant others and immidiate family.

Avion22

You definitely don't have to invite all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner.  You DO need to invite anyone who is in the wedding party, and their significant other.   

Our entire guest list is from out-of-town, and almost all family (aunts, uncles, cousins) and very close friends, so we ARE inviting everyone to the rehearsal dinner.  We live out of the country and are flying back for the wedding, so we want to spend as much time with our friends and family as possible.  However, for the RD we're just doing a casual (jeans and t-shirt) picnic in a local park where the kids can run around.    We also thought about doing pizza or inexpensive catering from a local restaraunt.   

But you do NOT have to invite all out-of-town guests to the RD if you don't want to.

melb2013

I'm a little curious about this too.  Almost everyone coming to our wedding will be from out of town.  That being said, most people will come on the day of the wedding, not the day before.  I really only think 4 people will be coming the day before the wedding, but I'm not sure.

Good to know we don't have to invite out of town guests to the dinner the night before.  I did read in Miss Manners that it was the groom's family should entertainment out of town guests the night before the wedding...

AurorasEnvy

It's a nice gesture to invite all OOT guests to the rehersal dinner, but not required.  99% of our guests are from OOT, so we'd essentially be throwing 2 receptions if we invited all our OOT guests to the RD.  I'd leave them out.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsal-dinner-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:27f4baa8-b940-4ef5-a326-021659da939ePost:6f0b7aef-1152-454b-be81-f053eee7c314">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a nice gesture to invite all OOT guests to the rehersal dinner, but not required.  99% of our guests are from OOT, so we'd essentially be throwing 2 receptions if we invited all our OOT guests to the RD.  I'd leave them out.
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

Ditto on this. My RD is already about 40 people. I can't afford 2 receptions to accomodate all of my (200+) guests.

HobokensFury

DItto PP You don't have to invite OOT guests to the RD especially if it's 75% of all of your wedding guests. 

dori851

I agree with everyone else. It's definitely not required to invite all OOT guests, especially when they make up the majority of your guest list. If you can afford to invite them, it would be a nice thing to do. If not, no big deal, just invite everyone who is involved in the actual ceremony.

ckthom2

Thanks for all the responses!!  We really don't have the money to have what really would be a second reception dinner, but I am deffinately inviting the bridal party, their dates and the family on both sides that are important to the wedding. 

Thank you all so much!

evanquil

You do not have to invite all OOT guests.  We would have to invite over 50 people if that were true.  We are only inviting the wedding party and their significant others, parents, and grandparents.