POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?

Knot Kathleen

Mind answering a quick poll for The Knot Live team? Thanks!

Kristin789

This is probably more regional than old-school.  Like in the south, this is done all the time even today, but in more contemporary regions like Chicago or Los Angeles, probably not.
Or it might have more to do with the age of the bride.  If the bride is 42 and has lived on her own for 20 years - probably not.  If the bride is 25 and has lived on her own for just three years during which she went over to her parents house for dinner every weekend, etc., then maybe.

jemmini6

Um...wasn't this poll just done like 2 or 3 days ago?

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_poll-did-your-fiance-get-your-familys-blessing-before-proposing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2ed62984-eb86-4312-b667-1e926c5d0f2cPost:9b69bd5f-7bed-4e55-9c74-32eaf5017ab2">Re: POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is probably more regional than old-school.  Like in the south, this is done all the time even today, but in more contemporary regions like Chicago or Los Angeles, probably not. 
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

<div>But only if you live in 1955.  Here in present day Atlanta, no one does this anymore.  </div>

Jenni8412

In Response to Re:POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?:This is probably more regional than oldschool.nbsp; Like in the south, this is done all the time even today, but in more contemporary regions like Chicago or Los Angeles, probably not.nbsp;Posted by Kristin789But only if you live in 1955. nbsp;Here in present day Atlanta, no one does this anymore. nbsp; Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE] Hmmm, my family's from ATL, and my parents are still there... My FI asked my Dad at my request. I think it's more of a social circle thing.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_poll-did-your-fiance-get-your-familys-blessing-before-proposing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2ed62984-eb86-4312-b667-1e926c5d0f2cPost:25e9bf04-845a-4a9a-ac04-5468aa2cda07">Re: POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?</a>:
[QUOTE]Um...wasn't this poll just done like 2 or 3 days ago?
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
Apparently they didn't read the 3 pages of replies and forgot about it.

random4180

Yes, he did and we're both from NYC, born and raised, and I'm 31 and he's 23 so I'm of the belief that it's just different strokes for different folks and nothing really to do with age or location.

Winnertag1

I  voted no, not cause its old school but because i wasnt in (and still am not) in contact with my parents. 

ermjdecember2015

My fiance did ask my parents for my hand in marriage. Not because he really needed their permission, but he felt it was the right thing to do. My parents did not expect him to do that at all, but really respected him for it. Every relationship is different and I think its up to the couple to figure out whats best for them, traditions or not.

DeannaCW

I'm answering no, but not voting in the poll because neither disclaimer is accurate for us. FI asked me what my opinion was on it, because he knew I'm not close with my dad, but he's rather traditional and thought he should.  So instead he just "informed" them that it was coming up soon.

ChristineNB

I did just answer this question in KnotKathleen's other thread but to re-answer...

No, my fiancee did not ask my parents or family for permission or for their blessing.  I did not want him to ask my family, nor did I care what their opinion was.  I am my own person and do not need my family's permission or blessing. 

StephanieM22

No my FI did not ask my parents permission. I do not speak to my father and my FI met my mother 2 months after he proposed. We did call her right away to share the good news though and she gave us her blessing. 

morenachica110

I think this poll is kind of off. I voted yes, but there's a difference. FI didn't ask for permission. He showed a curtesy to my dad saying "Hey, I'm going to ask morena to marry me. Do we have your blessing?" He of course said yes. FI didn't even say anything to my mom, but he showed her the ring. It wasn't a permission thing it was a respect for my father thing. I didn't particularly care either way, but I thought it was very sweet that he did it. 

And, no, my father doesn't own me (though I want him to walk me down the aisle). I'm not very close to my dad because we've lived in seperate states since I was about 11. We don't have a bad relationship, just not a close one. It was a way to include him in an extremely important part of my life. 

msowena

When me and my FI discussed the possibility of getting engaged some day I requested that he NOT ask anybody, because if my parents didn't give their blessing and that made him not propose to me... there would be big issues. 

My parents love him so it isn't an issue, but it was just the point of it for me. Maybe if I was somebody who was closer to my family and had the belief that if my family dosent accept him, then I can't marry him. Not the case. Although I would love for my family and friends to love him as much as I do, it wouldnt at all be a deal breaker for my parents to dissaprove

stefaniewattie

FI asked my dads permission.. it was a symbolic gesture..and I think my dad was very honored that he asked.. 
however, if my dad had said no (and there was no way he would have) FI still would have asked me to marry him.

MeganAngela

DH asked my mom for her blessing.  Wasn't really permission, per se, but he did want to be traditional and make sure she was on board before he asked me, even though he was going to ask me either way.  She, of course, said yes and even helped him plan out the proposal and get me out of the house while he got things ready!

And, yes, we are both born and raised in the South.  He always likes those cute traditional things (he wanted me to have a veil during the ceremony just so he could flip it! Haha!).  I didn't care either way and neither did my family.  But I think my mom did think it was a sweet gesture, though not necessary!

JacklovesSarah

My father died four years ago, so my fiance asked my dad's partner from the police department. It's an important part of marriage in my family. I'm from the South, but there are pleanty of people here who don't follow that "rule." It all just depends on circles and family ties.

rogo8207

I wish there was a spot that said "no he didnt but I didnt have a say"?

Arturabeth

My dad passed away 4 years ago so my fiance asked my mom. She gave her blessing, and then 6 months before the wedding retracted it. But like another poster said, I'm an adult living on my own and I'm not property of my mom. So it doesn't bother me that she retracted her blessing. We are still getting married.

emilycasari

It's really interesting to hear so many different opinions.  I'd never thought of the "property" aspect of it before!

My FI didn't straight out ask my parents (who live halfway across the country but see me every other month).  He emailed them to ask for suggestions for a ring.  I was really disappointed he did it over email and didn't really ask, even though I am usually very progressive and modern. In the end, though, they would've given it and, more importantly, I gave mine.

Jluse

My FI did not and I have to say I was kind of surprised when I went to call my parents we did it together. i wasn't upset that he didn't go to my dad first, I think my dad would have liked the sediment of it and that memory of my FI coming to him. 

I don't think of it as a property thing at all. I think it is a respect thing more for your parents.  I haven't really heard of very many parents saying No you cannot and it was a deal breaker for the couple. 

I think that if that is really something you want to make sure your FI does, make sure you mention it along the way so he is aware of it's importance to you or your family.

ginadog

My FI asked if my dad was the type of guy that would prefer him to ask, and I said no I don't think he is.  So he thought of it first.  We're in our 30s.

Briannasteve

FI sat down my mother, and his father and pretty much told them he was proposing and more or less asked for a blessing rather than permission. 

Shawn69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_poll-did-your-fiance-get-your-familys-blessing-before-proposing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2ed62984-eb86-4312-b667-1e926c5d0f2cPost:ac5ed9b9-b53f-4982-8a7c-2e07cc9b250e">POLL: Did your fiance get your family's blessing before proposing?</a>:
[QUOTE]Mind answering a quick poll for The Knot Live team? Thanks!
Posted by Knot Kathleen[/QUOTE]

I only selected my choice because my father passed away before my fiancee could ask for my hand.  Otherwise I would have pick the first option.  I'm a sucker for tradtion.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />