Skipping first dance?

Chencasu2

After booking a dj (he is included in our venue) and talking with my FI, I have decided I am petrified of this first dance situation. I don't dance and definitely don't want that much attention drawn to us. True, its our day and I want people to enjoy it, but do I really need to have the dance? He doesn't seemed to bothered by it, and our dj offered to ask guests to join, but I am still not sure.

Since our receptions starts at noon, would it be so horrible to just welcome guests to venue, feed them, and let them dance at will?

artbyallie

I do think dancing tends to get better participation when the bride and groom at least open the floor. As your DJ said, he can invite guests to join in your dance. Your family and wedding party and their dates can lead the way. That way you're not the center of attention for long and people will get the idea that's it's okay to hit the dance floor.

Lisa50

Just leave it open ... if it's time for dancing to begin and you remain petrified, tell the DJ to invite everyone onto the dance floor.  If you're feeling braver at that moment, go for it!

kfras

I agree with artbyallie. Are you planning to dance with your fiance AT ALL during the reception? I understand not wanting to have the attention on you, but the reason this is such a popular tradition is because people want to remember that first dance, that first song they danced to. It's a way for you to pick what that song is. So you can look back 50 years from now when someone says "What was the first song you danced to?" You don't wanna look at each other and be like uhhhh I don't remember. I would definitely recommend inviting other to join you on the dancefloor as well. Or, if you are nervous about the thought of even stepping onto the dancefloor alone to lead the way, tell the dj you don't want the first dance at the beginning of the reception. Wait a little bit, play a few fast moving songs to get some people on the floor, and then switch to a slow song as your "first dance" Just pick something meaningful that you will remember. I wouldn't let the dj pick something random.

I am definitely doing a first dance, but personally I always wondered what the bride and groom talk about during that dance while everyone is watching them, haha. I mean some just dance and smile.. but do you think they're like "Can you believe so-and-so is wearing THAT?" or "Man, Uncle Bob's breath smelled bad when he leaned in to kiss me" hahaha...

Avion22

My husband and I aren't great dancers either.  In fact, we more or less "shuffled" during the whole thing.  I was pretty nervous about the idea of us dancing alone for that long, but I have to say that our first dance was probably my favorite moment of our entire wedding day.  It was so meaningful and intimate.  We didn't take our eyes off each other the whole time, and honestly it felt like we were the only two people in the entire room.   Everyone else just kind of dissappeared.  And apparently, we made a lot of our guests cry because they thought it was so sweet and meaningful.  I'm so glad we didn't skip it.

DeannaCW

If you do this, definitely spread the word that there won't be a first dance. At my FI's best friend's wedding, they didn't do one due to his having a sister illness to muscular dystrophy and not wanting to fall. Unfortunately, when they wanted dancing to start, nobody got up and danced, and sat around talking instead because they were waiting for the first dance so they wouldn't be rude. It took an hour and a half for word to begin spreading and people to start dancing (no DJ)

My question is, what is so frightening about doing the dance? Do you have anxieties about dancing? Being in front of people? Dancing when in front of people? If you can figure out what exactly it is that's making you not want to do it, that can help you make your choice.

MichaelBrenna

My FI and I are having a non-traditional, come-and-go, dessert and just talking with people reception. We're not doing a first dance at all and no one we've talked to seems upset about it. We are having live music (many, many of our friends are musicians) so if people feel like dancing they're welcome to, we just probably won't. Since we both play we're doing a "first duet" instead of a first dance and everyone seems to think that's just great. I don't think you have to dance if you don't want to.

danceandromance

It is normal to fear something new and different. Many people are uncomfortable with the spotlight and especially dancing together if you are not prepared or accustomed to partner dancing. The temptation to take in some liquid courage or skip the dance, cut it short, invite others to join is not unusual. However, your First Dance demonstrates your unity, passion,and joy. Actions speak louder than words so your Filrst Dance demonstrates that as a couple you are stronger than your individual fears. Take this challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow as a couple. The way you conquer small obstacles will establish the foundation for larger ones that will confront your marriage. Take some lessons to empower yourselves. They are cheaper than your wedding cake and the joy of dancing and romancing lasts a lifetime not just one night! Check out http://www.theweddingdancespecialists.com/faq.php to read other common questions about the First Dance.