Catholic Ceremony...

sarah0632

I'm a non-Catholic. My fiance is Catholic and does not attend Mass regularly. We are having a Catholic ceremony. Today our Officiant told us he may not be our Officiant as he may be transfered. He has been a little less than helpful in answering my questions. So I put this out to the knot.

1) Can a non-Catholic and a Catholic have a wedding ceremony within Mass?
2) Is the difference between a ceremony with Mass and one without just the Eucharist?
3)Are we allowed to have our own vows as well as the traditional vows?
4)Do we have to great our guests before the ceremony? (I was hoping my fiance wouldn't see me until I'm coming down the isle)
 
Thank you for the help!

cmp1986

I went to a Catholic ceremony about two years ago for my cousins wedding. They did not come and greet us before the wedding. Now I know that you can not get married in a Catholic church unless you both are Catholic. As far as the rest goes, I'm not sure. I don't see why not, when it comes to writing your own vows. As long as you include the Catholic traditions and prayers in your ceremony. HTH!!!

sarah0632

Oh you can definitely get married in a Catholic church as long as one person is Catholic. My fiance is Catholic and I am not. I'm not even baptised. I thought the greeting people before the ceremony was a bit strange... But I'm finding out now we will not be able to have a Mass within our ceremony because I'm not baptised. I'm not sure why our Officiant asked if we wanted to do it that way knowing I'm not baptised.

Calypso1977

Now I know that you can not get married in a Catholic church unless you both are Catholic.

not true. 

if you are not baptized, then you probably wont be able to have mass. 

the traditional catholic wedding service does actually call for the bride and groom walking down the aisle together.  that is where the greeting part comes in.  while my H and i walked together, we did not greet everyone together.  he greeted folks on his own wtih his Best Man.

a catholic wedding wtihout mass is essentially the same length as one with mass.

you wont be able to do your own vows since the catholic wedding ceremony must follow certain guidelines. 

bibliophile2010

Sarah, I responded over on Ceremony Ideas -- it's a good idea to put XP in your post titles if you ask the same question(s) on multiple boards.

Lisa50

1) Can a non-Catholic and a Catholic have a wedding ceremony within Mass?  Yes.

2) Is the difference between a ceremony with Mass and one without just the Eucharist?  Yes.  If you choose to forego Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist is excluded.

3)Are we allowed to have our own vows as well as the traditional vows?  That's up to the priest.

4)Do we have to great our guests before the ceremony? (I was hoping my fiance wouldn't see me until I'm coming down the isle)  No.

Even if the priest is being transferred, he should really be able to answer all of these questions rather quickly.

sarah0632

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:15826b24-974d-4883-9a4e-644cf036b6f7">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Can a non-Catholic and a Catholic have a wedding ceremony within Mass?   Yes. 2) Is the difference between a ceremony with Mass and one without just the Eucharist?   Yes.  If you choose to forego Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist is excluded. 3)Are we allowed to have our own vows as well as the traditional vows?   That's up to the priest. 4)Do we have to great our guests before the ceremony? (I was hoping my fiance wouldn't see me until I'm coming down the isle)   No. <em>Even if the priest is being transferred, he should really be able to answer all of these questions rather quickly.</em>
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

He did, but he is conflicting the book that I was given at the marriage prep. Also, I wanted to go over readings and the the ceremony so that I can have a deeper understanding. He told me to choose the readings and EMAIL them to whoever our officiant is (when we find out in June whether he is transfered or not). I would like to have a better idea of the value of my ceremony, so I was a little put off by this. Not to mention he's screwed up on a paper work a few times now. First he told my FI he would have to do the Confirmation, then told us no he doesn't. He also got our parents to fill out paper work and then realized he was supposed to interview them. When I booked my wedding with the Church we booked the rehearsal the same time for Thursday because he doesn't work Fridays and now he's asking me when I'd like to have my rehearsal!! When we filled out our information 6 months ago it was to be sent to the Diocese for the Bishop to approve the marriage between a non-Catholic and a Catholic and I find out he hasn't sent it in yet! I'm sure it will be approved but I'm sending out invites in the next month or so I'd like this to all be straightened out! He told me we could do the Cord, Veil and Coins ceremony (a Catholic tradition in the Philppines), but if we have a different officiant it will be up to them in that case. Sorry I'm just a little peeved.

caithlinm

Wow, your priest sounds horribly unhelpful! Like most everyone said you can have a Catholic Mass. You also can walk down the aisle without the groom seeing you in advance. Does the church have a Deacon? If so, he can do your ceremony. He just can't bless the Eucharist, which you aren't doing anyway. Maybe he would be more helpful?

Also, our priest just told us the Lutherans and Episcopalians can take Eucharist at Catholic weddings. I don't know if that changes anything for you.

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:d3a1cbaa-2559-485a-89c7-c1350dd039f8">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE] Also, our priest just told us the Lutherans and Episcopalians can take Eucharist at Catholic weddings. I don't know if that changes anything for you.
Posted by caithlinm[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry that your priest told you this, because is it absolutely 100% untrue. Only Catholics in a state of grace may receive the Eucharist at a Catholic mass.

<a href="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm" title="Catechism of the Catholic Church">http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm</a> -- see paragraph 1400

jazzybacc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:581567fb-4e07-4d7a-aba2-f588f700ce5b">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Catholic Ceremony... : I'm sorry that your priest told you this, because is it absolutely 100% untrue. Only Catholics in a state of grace may receive the Eucharist at a Catholic mass. <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm">http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm</a> -- see paragraph 1400
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

Agree.  You must be baptised as a Catholic to receive eucharist.  There are other religions who do allow you to take part in mass but Catholicism is not one of them.  I would suggest not doing mass at your wedding.  It would seem strange to not be able to take part in something that important in your own wedding.  It would probably cut 10-15 minutes off your ceremony time depending on how many people you have coming.

Edit: <a href="http://www.catholic.com/library/Who_Can_Receive_Communion.asp" rel='nofollow'>http://www.catholic.com/library/Who_Can_Receive_Communion.asp</a>

Another page for your reference.  Basically since Catholics believe the bread and wine are not just representative of the body and blood but Jesus Himself, other religions who don't believe that can't take communion.  Some say that it could even be harmful to you.

Calypso1977

Also, our priest just told us the Lutherans and Episcopalians can take Eucharist at Catholic weddings. I don't know if that changes anything for you.

no, they cannot.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:1e839aad-45dc-41df-b959-f51468fdbb6b">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, our priest just told us the Lutherans and Episcopalians can take Eucharist at Catholic weddings. I don't know if that changes anything for you. no, they cannot.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Yup I've never heard of that. An Episcopalian friend once took Communion at a Catholic wedding and the priest was quite upset after the ceremony-- only Catholics in a state of grace can take communion in the Catholic church.

Now, I attend Episcopal church sometimes, and there, yes every baptized Christian can take communion.

If you choose to have Communion in a Catholic ceremony and not everyone is Catholic, you should have a discreet note in the program inviting CATHOLICS to take communion. (personally, this is why I think it's better to not have communion at all unless almost everyone is Catholic)

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:8862efd6-4176-4248-9fb9-4cae7a90dc9e">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Catholic Ceremony... : Yup I've never heard of that. An Episcopalian friend once took Communion at a Catholic wedding and the priest was quite upset after the ceremony-- only Catholics in a state of grace can take communion in the Catholic church. Now, I attend Episcopal church sometimes, and there, yes every baptized Christian can take communion. If you choose to have Communion in a Catholic ceremony and not everyone is Catholic, you should have a discreet note in the program inviting CATHOLICS to take communion. (personally, this is why <strong>I think it's better to not have communion at all unless almost everyone is Catholic</strong>)
Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

I disagree with this. If both the bride and the groom are Catholic, I think there should absolutely be communion. In that case, the newly married couple are beginning life with the sacraments, the grace of the Eucharist, and Christ at the center of their marriage.

Calypso1977

i agree.   two catholics shoudl nto have to forego the mass and communion at their own wedding which provides them with additional graces and blessings for the marriage.  the guests can deal with it, and if they cant, they can choose to attend the reception only.

jazzybacc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:406c4bfc-4063-4e27-92cd-4a827642073cPost:445a62ca-1c48-4bff-9986-b3cf92b1cd36">Re: Catholic Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE]i agree.   two catholics shoudl nto have to forego the mass and communion at their own wedding which provides them with additional graces and blessings for the marriage.  the guests can deal with it, and if they cant, they can choose to attend the reception only.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I agree.  Being Catholic myself, as well as James, I would be really mad if we couldn't have Eucharist at our wedding.  Technically Catholics should have Eucharist every day, so to not be able to on the day I'm joined with my soulmate, kind of upsetting.

People don't get upset usually.  They understand others have different belief systems.  Good luck!

sarah0632

Well I won't be having the Eucharist because I'm not Catholic and the only people invited to the wedding who are are the Grooms family and some close friends. Thank you everyone for the advice and useful information.