Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

I'm Catholic, he's Jewish and we're ok with that. BUT.....

My grandmother, and his grandparents really, well, aren't.

We want to break glass, and that's fine.
But, my faith means a lot to me, and my grandma has seen this. Now she's mentioning it to me and making sure that what I'm doing with my wedding is what I want. IT IS!!!! But how do I tell her to back off without being rude?



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Re: I'm Catholic, he's Jewish and we're ok with that. BUT.....

  • Ditto PP!! Also, tell her that you love her and appreciate her involvement in the wedding but you have things under control. And then hug her or something.... or ask her to tell you about her wedding. That should get her off your back for a bit.
  • Thanks ladies. Every little bit of advice helps.



    September 2013 Moms Siggy Challenge: The Thing I Miss Most Since Being Pregnant
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    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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    Batman was supposed to be a symbol of hope and bring justice. Not spark violence.
  • But, my faith means a lot to me, and my grandma has seen this. Now she's mentioning it to me and making sure that what I'm doing with my wedding is what I want.

    are you having a catholic wedding but then just breaking the glass at the end??
  • Breaking a glass at your wedding doesn't insult or belittle the Catholic faith.

    Tell Grams to chill
  • needle&threadneedle&thread member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited April 2011
    Its more than wedding preferences...how will you raise the children?  That's what all the grand-parents are worried about...thats all.  I'll bet ya...ask them!

    Now, I was married before and the faith thing is huge when kids are involved.

    Just a thought!

    S and CJ
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  • I'd  too would be willing to bet your grandmother is already thinking ahead about children. My FI is non practicing Italian Catholic and I'm culturally Jewish. A Jewish ceremony was very important to me and it bothered his grandparents at first. We finally sat down and talked it out. His grandmother was worried a Jewish wedding meant we'd raise our kids Jewish...The we aren't having kids conversation didn't please her much (lol) but did put her a little more at ease with the ceremony we are choosing.
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  • we have yet to determine if OP is having a catholic wedding and then adding a glass breaking or if she is just having an interfaith ceremony with elements of jewish adn catholic traditions.  2 very different scenarios, the second of which i can see causing the grandmother concern since if OP goes this route, her marriage will not be recognized by teh catholic church - a big deal for someone whose faith is important ot her.  if its the first one, then i'm not sure what grandma is worried about unless she fears the grandchildren wont grow up in a catholic home.
  • "Gram:  For each of us, our religions have shaped who we are and how we love each other.  As a result our wedding will be a balance of traditions that mean the most to us.  It won't be all one type of religion as we are not all one type of wedding couple.    This blending is a celebration of who we are and how we live our lives.  With ___ (DH), I have never been happier and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him."

    ****Sorry it took me so long to post, I had to dig this out of my email.   My 89 year old grandmother has discovered the internet because her great-grandchildren's latest pictures are there. 

    I grew up Episcopal and DH grew up Jewish.  We married in a blended ceremony six months ago.  We both received long discussions form our grandparents who wanted us to be sure we were up to the challenge of the different religions, ensure that (s)he would respect the other religion and would not try to convert us.   During the period that they grew up and got married, intermarriage would have been exile.  Each was actually expressing their love for us (in one of the most difficult ways possible) by talking to us about the choices we were making and if these were the right choices.  

    They all attended the wedding, had a great time and got along famously.  This is scary for us as they have regular conversations about when we will be giving them more great grand children.  
      
    The initial post in quotes is from an email to my Episcopal grandmother.   Yes it is a bloody pain in the tush explaining and re-explaining your choices.  For us, it reaffirmed that we made the right choice.  

    Good luck, God Bless and Mazel Tov!
  • magdala, can an episcopalian and a jew marry outside of their religions and still practice their faith?    see, taht's the wrinkle with OP.  if she marries outside of the catholic church, seh can no longer actively participate in that faith (i.e., receive sacraments).   but again, we dont know if she's doing that or if she just wants to have a glass broken.  come back OP!!
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