I'm keeping my name--what's my title?

BrookeNoelle

I'm keeping my last name instead of taking my fiance's.  He insists that my title should still be "Mrs. [my birth name]" but I thought "Mrs." was always followed by a married name (Mrs. John Smith = Wife of John Smith).  What do you think? 

MyNameIsNot

Ms. 

fnordess

Ms.

handfast4me

PPs are correct, it's Ms (technically, there's no punctuation since it's not an abbreviation for anything, although here in the States most use the period, so it's become "correct"). 

BlutifulScorpion

As stated on Wise Geek and other places on the net as well as in books:

"All three terms are etymologically derived from “Mistress,” as in “Mistress of the House.” Both Miss and Mrs. were in wide and often interchangeable use until the 1800s, when the meanings began to deviate. Miss came to be used to refer to an unmarried woman of any age, while Mrs. was the correct honorific for a married woman. The usage of “Mistress” to refer to a lover had curiously begun several centuries earlier.

In the 1960s, however, some women began to chafe against the use of the titles, because they believed that the terms suggested a certain sense of ownership. A “Miss” could be said to be the property and responsibility of her parents, as she was historically, and a Mrs. was the property of her husband, by being marked with his name and a change in honorific. Women wanted to find a term which could be used universally for all women without implying marital status, just as Mr. is used for men.

In 1961, Sheila Michaels thought that “Ms.” might be an appropriate middle-ground. Her discovery was probably brought about by a typo, and it took another 10 years for the term to become popular. By the 1970s, many women, along with a major feminist magazine, had adopted "Ms." as an appropriate universal title. It was an important step for the women's liberation movement, because it created a new framework for thinking about women."

I would use the title of "Mrs" but that's a very personal decision. I was always taught in school that "Ms" is an unmarried, mature woman.

efitzsifford

Mrs. is used for married women who CHOOSE to go by Mrs. In other words, they would like people to know that they are married. Whether or not "mrs" has the same last name as her husband is completely irrelevant. Ms. (pronounced mizz) is a neutral title, it can be used my married or unmarried women who do not want to indicate either way. Miss is for an unmarried woman, usually a younger woman, though I have met a few older women who never married and use "Miss."

fnordess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_im-keeping-name-whats-title?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:449f4681-8c40-42eb-add5-84f2c5de5384Post:a35b3e52-8c87-4ab1-bd64-29b475520324">Re: I'm keeping my name--what's my title?</a>:
[QUOTE]Mrs. is used for married women who CHOOSE to go by Mrs. In other words, they would like people to know that they are married. Whether or not "mrs" has the same last name as her husband is completely irrelevant.
Posted by efitzsifford[/QUOTE]

Nope. I assume that OP knows that she has the option of calling herself whatever she wants, but she's asking what would be correct. "Mrs." implies that the last name you are using is your married name. A married couple is properly referred to as Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones if the wife has not taken her husband's name.

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/forms_of_address.htm">http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/forms_of_address.htm</a>

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Addressing_Envelopes&I=Married_Couples">http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Addressing_Envelopes&I=Married_Couples</a>

efitzsifford

The links you provided were about addressing envelopes, not about how women can be refered to as individually.

fnordess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_im-keeping-name-whats-title?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:449f4681-8c40-42eb-add5-84f2c5de5384Post:2c3400fa-6723-496e-96e1-e062b6ce05b9">Re: I'm keeping my name--what's my title?</a>:
[QUOTE]The links you provided were about addressing envelopes, not about how women can be refered to as individually.
Posted by efitzsifford[/QUOTE]
The term "form of address" also means the title that is used to refer to someone socially and/or professionally, not just what is written on envelopes intended for them.

CaptiolBride

Well WIKIPEDIA said, "Modern etiquette has no absolute rules as how to address married couples in which the wife uses her own last name"

so there you have it! Use whichever you want.

P.S. Wikipedia rocks lol