Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Who holds the train?

I never pictured my dress having a train so I hadn't put much thought into what to do if it had one. I just bought a gorgeous dress at a great price, but it has a train(much better looking on me than I'd imagined) I'm having an outdoor wedding in October so I can't exactly just let it drag. it's a small enough train that I could probably get away with having one person hold it. I was just wondering who traditionally is responsible for this.
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Re: Who holds the train?

  • I believe the "Maid of Honor" does.

  • That makes sense. And she's my only Bridesmaid so I think that would be perfect! Thanks for your help!
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  • DeannaCWDeannaCW member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited July 2012
    I went to a wedding last June, where the bridesmaids walked in behind the bride with two BMs holding the train. Oddly the MOH was walking sorta next to them rather than carrying, but she's kind of an odd person anyways.  But I agree, usually MOH or BMs.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    Why can't you just let it drag?  I certainly did.  I didn't want to walk in with my MOH carrying my train like I was the Queen of England or anything.

    The bottom of your dress is going to get dirty.  It's a given.  No, you can't see it in pictures and it's nothing to freak out about.  It's a white dress so it comes with the territory.  A good dry cleaner can get out any marks and it will become exhausting worrying about a white dress all night.

    Your MOH can certainly fluff it out for you during the ceremony and before you walk down the aisle - mine did!

    EDIT: We married outside on a deck over the ocean and then had pictures on the beach.  Yeah, my train was dragging on all of it.  Can you see anything in my pictures?  Nope!
  • Unless you have a huge train, I am talking Princess diana huge, I have never seen anybody hold a train.  Normally it drags, then before supper your girls will bustle it for the dance.  i think the holding the train thing went out a long time ago. 
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  • saacjwsaacjw member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I was just at an outdoor wedding where the bride had to go over a stretch dirt before getting to the aisle, which had an aisle runner. One of her older female friends (maybe an aunt or cousin), held the train until she got to the aisle runner, mainly so it didn't pick up all the twigs and leaves. That is the only time I've ever seen a train carried outside of a royal event. 
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  • edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-holds-the-train?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4560f7d4-cbeb-464c-b191-759abfd37324Post:5fefe84f-8d36-4f95-86dc-19bd23596574">Re: Who holds the train?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Unless you have a huge train, I am talking Princess diana huge, I have never seen anybody hold a train.  Normally it drags, then before supper your girls will bustle it for the dance.  i think the holding the train thing went out a long time ago. 
    Posted by Miss_2010[/QUOTE]

    Not even Diana had anyone carrying her train down the aisle.  Kate did not either (Pippa held it to keep it from dragging outside.)  OP, if you are having an outdoor ceremony, you are just going to have to live with some grass and dirt stains on a train.

    ETA:  Queen Elizabeth also let her train drag.
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  • edited July 2012
    No one held my train, and it was fairly long (chapel-length, the second longest next to cathedral). I just walked, and my MOH arranged it when I got to the front. It was bustled for the reception so it was off the floor.

    ETA: If it bothers you for it to drag outside, get a wrist loop put on the train and hold it yourself or just have it bustled the whole time. I did outdoor bridal portraits, but since those were before the wedding and my dress needed to stay clean, I stood/sat on a white sheet that the photographer's assistant tucked just under the edge so it would protect my gown without showing. And my SIL got married outside and didn't even bother with a bustle. Yes, her train got dirty. 
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  • Typically, you hold your own train, or let it drag (trains get dirty, there's really nothing you can do about it).  Many dresses have a wrist strap so you can hold it up while you are walking around pre-ceremony so you keep it as clean as possible.  However, when you walk down the aisle, the entire point of having a train is to let it drag.  Then your MOH will usually help 'fluff' it once you get to the altar so it looks pretty and isn't twisted or anything while you are saying your vows.  Then you can carry it/position it as necessary for pictures.  Then you will usually have it bustled for the reception (they will do this in alterations).

    For reference, here's some pics from my wedding of how I handled my train.  While H and I were walking around for pictures, I just gathered my train and held it over my arm (I did have a wrist strap, but this was easier) Then for the reception, I bustled it so there was no need for me or anyone to hold it.  During the ceremony though, I let my train drag, and only then did my dress look completely as it was designed to look (and in pictures where we positioned my train out), it's supposed to drag though.

                    

    HTH.  Please don't designate anyone to be a 'train holder' all day though.  It's really not necessary, I promise. 

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  • In my opinion (I don't care what other people have or have not done), if you want someone to hold your train, go for it! :) Don't make them carry it all night, obviously, as this would ruin their time at your wedding, but when you walk down the aisle, it is your moment to do with what you please!! I'd have someone younger carry it, that way it looks like a cute little thing rather than making a grown person walk behind you. :)

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-holds-the-train?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4560f7d4-cbeb-464c-b191-759abfd37324Post:5890da19-3550-440b-b0a8-c8cf9c96420c">Re: Who holds the train?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In my opinion (I don't care what other people have or have not done), if you want someone to hold your train, go for it! :) Don't make them carry it all night, obviously, as this would ruin their time at your wedding, but when you walk down the aisle, it is your moment to do with what you please!! I'd have someone younger carry it, that way it looks like a cute little thing rather than making a grown person walk behind you. :)
    Posted by lcatterton[/QUOTE]

    Yeah.  Who cares how unbelievably pretentious she will look doing this.
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  • The easiest solution might be to purchase an aisle runner if you're concerned about dirt.

    I just let my train drag on the pavement. My dress was surprisingly clean after the wedding.
  • No one holds the train. It drags behind you.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-holds-the-train?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4560f7d4-cbeb-464c-b191-759abfd37324Post:39ece5d0-ed6e-497a-8fcc-e78bb780667e">Re: Who holds the train?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who holds the train? : Yeah.  Who cares how unbelievably pretentious she will look doing this.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    <p>Yeah, well, she'll only appear pretentious to judgmental people and really, who cares what they think? I think it'd be cute if she had a little toddler carrying her gown, and I'm sure the little tike would be thrilled to be involved.

    To OP, if you're happy and your man is happy and you did everything that you wanted to do on your day, that's what truly matters!! Don't make your decisions based on other people's opinions.. Make your decisions based on what makes you happy! If having a train carrier makes you happy, by all means, do it! :-D If you're worried about looking "pretentious," then don't! That's the beauty of life, it's your book to write! Good Luck! :)</p>

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  • No one held mine.  My MOH fixed it for me once I got to the front of the church, she kind of fluffed it so it was sitting nicely but that was it.  Other than that I just let it hang out behind me.  When I was walking through a field getting to some pictures my FI helped me once and my sister helped me once, but it was nothing formally assigned, they were just helping a girl out.

  • I had an indoor wedding but had to walk outdoors from the building where we got ready to the chapel, along a dirt path, through the rain. I asked a teenage cousin to hold the train just while we were walking outside. So if you do want someone to hold your train, a female relative or friend who isn't in the WP might be willing to help out - that way it won't disrupt your procession.
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  • So funny you had this thought...my younger cousin (who was 9 at the time) had watched the royal wedding and wanted to carry my train.  It's not my style or very common, so I gently found another job for her to do.  It was cute that she thought of it, though (I think she figured it would make up for the fact that I had asked my goddaughter and not her to be my flower girl).

    Personally, I say just let it drag, because it is a breathtaking thing to see the train coming down the aisle rather than having someone holding it up. 
  • I was wondering the same thing because I am going to have a big an beautifuly princess style wedding dress with a medium length train and so I asked the wedding planner at the wedding venue where I am getting married about who is suppose to hold the train because its an outside wedding and he said usually no one holds the train... he said the wedding dress material is strong and it would be fine walking down the isle without someone holding it... so thats what I am going to do..
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-holds-the-train?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4560f7d4-cbeb-464c-b191-759abfd37324Post:5fefe84f-8d36-4f95-86dc-19bd23596574">Re: Who holds the train?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Unless you have a huge train, I am talking Princess diana huge, I have never seen anybody hold a train.  Normally it drags, then before supper your girls will bustle it for the dance.  i think the holding the train thing went out a long time ago. 
    Posted by Miss_2010[/QUOTE]

    I agree
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