Toasts...is this right?

[Deleted User]

My fiance's father and stepfather have both come up and asked me if they could give a toast after the best man at the wedding. Of course I said that was fine. I figured since both his dads were toasting, I'd ask my Dad if he wanted to. When I asked him, he said he was a traditionalist and so he shouldn't speak. Is that true? Every wedding I have gone to the FOB has made a toast, I thought that was the traditional route.

hz80408

Good question!  I'm curious to see other repsonses...maybe try posting this on the etiquette board too..

IMO, I kind of thought it was opposite though.  Traditionally FOB is hosting the reception and therefore should say a few words to welcome and thank everyone?

[Deleted User]

My parents did not host our reception, we did. I know this may be a little different bc my parents were not involved in the planning of our wedding, but my Dad did not give a toast at the RD or reception. I have never really seen this at the weddings I have been to. H parents were very involved and neither one of them said anything either.

I think it depends on what is acceptable in your social circle and family/friends. It is your wedding, if that makes it more personal for you guys, I say go for it.

bbyckes

My father, My H's father both gave toasts at the reception.  I don't think I've been to a wedding where the FOB didn't give a toast.  But, I guess he should do whatever he is comfortable with.

BluValkyrie

Every wedding I have been to, the FOB has given a toast, but if he doesn't want to give one, I wouldn't force him to, but at least you offered for him to have the chance, so if he changes his mind, I'd still have the invitation open for him.

526SadieSadie

If your dad doesn't want to, or isn't comfortable giving a toast, there is no reason why he "has to".  If you'd like someone on your side to give a toast, maybe a grandfather or uncle might want to?  It's not necessary though.  I think from your guests point of view, the fewer toasts/the shorter toasts the better, because while they can be very sweet, they take time away from dancing and celebrating. 

Melgor78

Neither fathers are giving a toast at our's.  I think it's up to you and your father what you do.

swissarmymelody

Neither of our fathers are giving a toast..our grandfathers are though.


Do what feels right for your wedding, don't worry about anyone elses.