Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

seeing your partner before the wedding

i am not really superstitious but i am curious what everyone's take on this is...  I have not decided yet if we will see each other before the ceremony yet or not
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Re: seeing your partner before the wedding

  • We will not...in fact, I am staying in a hotel the night before the wedding. We have lived together for five years, but I still have that little superstition.
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  • We had breakfast together, which was really nice. But then he didn't see me until I walked down the aisle, which was how we wanted it.
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  • We will see each other. We'll stay apart the night before, but then do a first look picture before the ceremony. It just makes more sense for us in terms of timing and things. 
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  • We said our farewells at the rehearsal dinner and stayed in seperate hotel rooms. I spent that night-before and day-of with my ladies and he with his gents. We did this not out of superstition but because we wanted to build anticipation and surprise. It was also a good time to be alone with our thoughts.
  • i could do it either way and my partner is the same but after starting to put a day timeline together i can see more benefits to forgoing the superstition
  • We didn't see each other because my husband didn't want to. It was kind of fun, and didn't really make any of our day more difficult. We did separate photos for me and the bridesmaids and him and the groomsmen before the ceremony, then did the whole bridal party together and just us after.
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  • We did a first look so we could spend our whole reception with our guests and not feel rushed with our photos.  I am an incredibly superstitious person but for whatever reason that one never felt right to me.  I calmed down a LOT when I saw H for photos before the ceremony, so I think for us it was a good thing we did it that way.
  • We played golf together the day of the wedding but parted ways around 2pm  I didn't see him again until I walked down the aisle.  I wouldn't have done it any other way.

    The one thing that I wish we had done was schedule about ten minutes for us to go in a private room after the ceremony.  I wanted to jump up and down and be soo excited that we were married, but we didn't get to do that until 2am after everyone had gone to bed.  I spent most of the reception just wanting a few minutes!  I know some people do this (and I believe it's tradition in Judiasm) and I wish we had.  We had all that time together before the ceremony but it didn't matter - I wanted those few minutes after the ceremony and when we finally had our rings on.  Oh well.  :-)
  • We're spending the night before together, then splitting up after lunch to get ready, then having a first look before the ceremony. I just want to spend as much of the day as possible with him! Plus I think it will help nerves and of course it makes the timeline easier. I don't tend to be superstitious at all though. 

    Andplusalso- I was married before and did ALL the things (not see each other, not let the veil touch the floor, etc) and I had a horrible marriage with a painful divorce, so it obviously did me no good!  Wink And I remember being annoyed that I was "hiding" in the church basement so he wouldn't see me, but he was out front chatting with friends and family.
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  • edited September 2012
    lol I agree @coopsbaby, my partner and I were both married before as well  and I think that is why its not a big thing now either way

    @Joy that is what I am now trying to "fit in" alone time after the ceremony...  I can see being super p%#sed myself if we don't get those few moments
  • My take is that one should go with his or her personal superstitions.  If the thought of seeing each other before the wedding bothers you, it's highly likely the reality will REALLY bother you.

    H and I spent the night in our honeymoon suite the night before the wedding. It was great to wake up and spend the entire day together.  It would have seemed ludicrous not to have been together as much as possible on such an important day.
  • We decided a month before the wedding to do a first look and we did not regret it.  We got great pictures of it and all the nervousness just melted away so we could enjoy everything together.
  • We woke up together on the day of our wedding due to circumstances beyond our control. We also did a first look.  I don't regret it at all.
     
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  • My three favorite parts of our wedding day were the three moments we had to ourselves away from the craziness.
    1. Our first look and all the pictures.
    2. After our wedding pics and a few post-ceremony pics, we had a private dinner upstairs. It was set up by our wedding planner, and although it was rushed, it was great. We didn't even let the photographers upstairs. We were announced right afterwards.
    3. Our private last dance, with absolutely no one in the building except the band photographers, and our coordinator.
  • We did the private dinner too, and it was so nice.  It was fast, for sure, but I loved having those few minutes with just us.  We barely saw each other the rest of the reception - we took a "divide and conquer" approach to mingling with guests.
  • @dramageek and @cwaggoner ... neither of you ate at the reception?? you just mingled with guests.... no receiving line then i am guessing???
  • We are having a Jewish wedding and before the ceremony starts, we have to sign a Jewish marriage license called a ketubah, so we will be seeing each other before I walk down the aisle no matter what. If you do decide to forgo the tradition, I totally recommend doing a first look photo session with your photographer, which is what we are doing. You still get to see the moment he first sees you in pictures, plus I've heard it's a wonderful private moment for the couple to have.
  • DaveandRoxyDaveandRoxy member
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    edited September 2012
    We're planning to not see each other at all. And we also plan to communicate only through our attendents. Yeah, he's pretty supersticious. Lol. I'm even staying in a hotel room for the evening after the RD. I'm not that supersticious, but I'd really like to build the anticipation and excitement. So, I'm really looking forward to it! And I get the whole "Spending as much time as possible together" thing. But, we're getting married. We have the rest of our lives to smother each other. Lol. 
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  • We didn't see each other before.  We both wanted it that way and it was so special for us.  It worked well because our wedding was at 1pm and then we did pictures before the reception.  Our reception spot was almost an hour away so we drove just the two of us and had that time and couples pictures alone which was great!  For us, the reason we look so happy in the pictures and in the ceremony is because of that anticipation and surprise of not seeing each other beforehand.
  • We slept together the night before, but I left the room while he was still sleeping. Then we accidentally almost saw each other at the diner for lunch (I had to duck behind my MOH). Then we finally did a first look, and spent 3.5 hours before the ceremony together- it was fantastic. We were both hiding at the end of the aisle together until it was his turn to go stand up front. I'm very glad we didn't stay apart, but each couple's feelings on the matter are different.
  • I'm not superstitious at all but SO doesn't want to do a first look. our families are very traditional so he'll see me for the first time when i walk down the aisle in the church.
  • I'm not superstitious, but I really want the first time that he sees me to be when my dad is escorting me into the church.  I have one of those long, chapel-length veils and I think that it will be more dramatic than he's expecting...and awesme.  I think that we'll go separate ways after the rehearsal dinner and that will be it until 2pm the next day. :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_seeing-your-partner-before-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4a8512a8-56c5-43a1-930d-92249ec64fb0Post:617f2468-5461-4e83-8973-0f3ee79c3786">Re: seeing your partner before the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]@dramageek and @cwaggoner ... neither of you ate at the reception?? you just mingled with guests.... no receiving line then i am guessing???
    Posted by thundernlightnin[/QUOTE]

    <div>We ate separately, privately, while our guests ate in the reception room.  Our receiving line was a part of the buffet line, so while everyone was going through and getting food, we were able to chat with them.  After we'd seen the last guest, H and I went to a private room for a quick bite, then went to the reception and were introduced, cut the cake, did our spotlight dances, and danced/mingled the rest of the night.</div>
  • We will be spending the night before together and breakfast the day of. Then part ways till we do our first look photos. We are getting married and having the reception at the same place, so we would like to get as many pictures out of the way before so we can just relax and enjoy all our hard work. We want our reception to be fun and running around getting pictures done just doesn't work for us.
  • We'll be seeing each other right at the start of the wedding because as Catholics we ALL walk down the aisle together. We've both been married before so there aren't any parents. I do like the idea of first look pics so will tell the photog that and try to work it in. It's Sunday Mass at 11:15 AM so this will be crazy fun.
  • We chose to not see each other before the ceremony. We weren't superstitious; just liked the idea of seeing each other for the first time as I walked down the aisle. I have seen a lot of awesome first look photos though, so I occasionally re-think that decision, but it was really awesome seeing H for the first time as I walked down the aisle.


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  • We most definitely did see eachother before the ceremony. We spent the night at the hotel together, then spent the morning of getting ready together with the entire bridal party and then hopped on a bus and took photos around the city.

    We wouldn't have had as many cool photo opportunities if we had waited to see eachother.

    We also walked eachother down the aisle though, so I'm pretty non-traditional.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_seeing-your-partner-before-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4a8512a8-56c5-43a1-930d-92249ec64fb0Post:95714cb4-0b63-4b46-8d22-45f2f59d3b93">Re: seeing your partner before the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]We most definitely did see eachother before the ceremony. We spent the night at the hotel together, then spent the morning of getting ready together with the entire bridal party and then hopped on a bus and took photos around the city. We wouldn't have had as many cool photo opportunities if we had waited to see eachother. We also walked eachother down the aisle though, so I'm pretty non-traditional.
    Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]

    Our idea is pretty much the same. We are having an evening wedding, but we want some pictures during the day on the other, deserted side of the island. It just makes sense to get all that stuff done before the ceremony/reception. We are still considering a first look though. But, I'm not sure how possible that is when we're staying at the same rental house.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_seeing-your-partner-before-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4a8512a8-56c5-43a1-930d-92249ec64fb0Post:cb9adb59-09c4-4a73-85d8-71bd9d4331b1">Re: seeing your partner before the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]We'll be seeing each other right at the start of the wedding because as Catholics we ALL walk down the aisle together. We've both been married before so there aren't any parents. I do like the idea of first look pics so will tell the photog that and try to work it in. It's Sunday Mass at 11:15 AM so this will be crazy fun.
    Posted by books59b[/QUOTE]

    Just curious, how are you getting married in a Catholic church? Did you both get annulments?
     
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  • i am with rustic1...  thats how i feel about it....i just wanted to see what others thought of it or if there were points maybe i had not considered but i still feel confident on seeing my partner till the night before when we part do our late night phone conversations like we have had in the beginning of our relationship as it was a long distance relationship... then we will talk by phone again the next morning at our usual time then no chatting again or seeing each other till the first look and some photos....
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