Is it ok to be caucasion and have Moroccan or Asian themed wedding?

BayAreaGurl

I want to have a Moroccan or Asian themed wedding.  I have always been inspired by these cultures and this is something I want to do.  Is this going to be offensive to the people in those cultures?  My fiance's grandfather speaks fluent chinese and has done business with chinese business men for over 40 years.  He has many chinese friends that have become close to everyone in the family.  They are kind and sweet people, we always look forward to seeing them at Christmas and other times of the year.  As far as the Moraccan theme, I'm leaning more towards that because of the fabrics, colors, music, food, etc.  However, I do know how happy grandpa will be if we did a chinese theme.

The reason I'm asking in the first place is because I went to a moroccan and asain website for weddings and I didn't see one caucasion couple.  It kind of felt like they don't want others to celebrate the way their culture does because that is their tradition and I completely understand!  I only want to decorate and use color palettes etc.  I wouldn't be doing the ceremonies that they do.

So if someone can give me some good advice because I'm under A MAJOR TIME CRUNCH & on a ridiculous budget...we're basicaly eloping and only bringing our very closest family and friends.  Any advice on anything will help!

As far as eloping...we're thinking Tahoe, at this point...that's where I've found the BEST deals on elopement pkgs. and DIY whatever...I need help with an inexpensive but GORGEOUS reception.  I'M  a lost soul...like I said thank goodness I'm creative!  Please help and let me know what you think about the theme!  I like to be different!

Yoda2010

If you're only using colors, etc then I dont really see the big deal. But honestly I would seriously side eye a wedding with a cultural theme unrelated to the bride and groom. Im Danish - and would personally be offended if non-danish people had a "danish" wedding just because they thought it was cool with no personal attachment or understanding to the culture.

Frogger5

If you're doing a very small wedding, maybe you could just have it at a Moroccan or Chinese restaurant. That way, the place would be decorated the way you are envisioning, and it would seem more culturally appropriate to me. There's a Thai restaurant in our neighborhood that has an awesome back room for parties that we are thinking about having our rehersal dinner in. I don't think that's weird at all. If you want to do traditions or prayers or things like that from the other culture when you have no ancestral connection, I'd say that is weird and not a good idea.

shenning

I dont think there is anything wrong with having a wedding themed with one of these cultures! However, I think that 'themed' and actual cultural wedding are 2 different things. If you are theming your wedding, then you are lacing your wedding with influences from this culture. The wedding can draw inspiration from these cultures respectfully but if you choose to follow specific cultural guidelines, I definitely suggest you get their customs down to the T, as not to offend anyone. I wish the best! 

Soon2BeMrsTing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ok-caucasion-moroccan-asian-themed-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4b984653-bb24-4206-9571-e9afdf2f5ab0Post:7eba3db5-b149-4581-a86c-031eae52aded">Is it ok to be caucasion and have Moroccan or Asian themed wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to have a Moroccan or Asian themed wedding.  I have always been inspired by these cultures and this is something I want to do.  Is this going to be offensive to the people in those cultures?  My fiance's grandfather speaks fluent chinese and has done business with chinese business men for over 40 years.  He has many chinese friends that have become close to everyone in the family.  They are kind and sweet people, we always look forward to seeing them at Christmas and other times of the year.  As far as the Moraccan theme, I'm leaning more towards that because of the fabrics, colors, music, food, etc.  However, I do know how happy grandpa will be if we did a chinese theme. The reason I'm asking in the first place is because I went to a moroccan and asain website for weddings and I didn't see one caucasion couple.  It kind of felt like they don't want others to celebrate the way their culture does because that is their tradition and I completely understand!  <strong>I only want to decorate and use color palettes etc.  I wouldn't be doing the ceremonies that they do.</strong> So if someone can give me some good advice because I'm under A MAJOR TIME CRUNCH & on a ridiculous budget...we're basicaly eloping and only bringing our very closest family and friends.  Any advice on anything will help! As far as eloping...we're thinking Tahoe, at this point...that's where I've found the BEST deals on elopement pkgs. and DIY whatever...I need help with an inexpensive but GORGEOUS reception.  I'M  a lost soul...like I said thank goodness I'm creative!  Please help and let me know what you think about the theme!  I like to be different!
Posted by BayAreaGurl[/QUOTE]

You'll be using red and gold, then, if you go with the Chinese theme?

The funny thing about Chinese weddings is  that, as the nation continues to rebuild from the years of the cultural revolution (1966-76), there seem to be few 'traditions' preserved for Chinese weddings.  H and I live in China and have attended a good number of weddings here (we were at one last Saturday, in fact, in Suzhou), but we also know no small number of locals who just went down to an office somewhere, signed paperwork and left with two separate marriage certificates.  Then their families hosted huge receptions for them back in their hometown.  But there is, as far as I can tell, no traditional 'ceremony.' 

Unless you yourselves have spent time in China, speak some Chinese, and have attended a few Chinese weddings, I would be hesitant to incorporate more than colors, and maybe a 'shuang xi' (喜喜) into your ceremony.  Your efforts, while sincere, could easily be misunderstood.  I feel the same about the possibility of a Moroccan theme; I just know much, much less about the culture.

One subtle nod you could give to the Chinese culture is providing your food in the family or communal style.  We eat all of our meals from shared bowls or plates in the middle of the table when we are with locals. 

MrsChasey

One of my best friend's is from Gambia, West Africa. I attended her beautiful wedding and it had a lot of really cool traditions, but I wouldn't incorporate those into my wedding because it isn't related to me.

Well, I do know someone that is caucasian and having a Moraccan themed wedding. It's actually on the same day as our wedding. I don't know details, sorry...

But I will say, I did take a half a semester of Chinese while in college. It was BRUTALLY hard. If you do this, I wouldn't make any signs in Chinese calligraphy...have someone that really knows what they are doing do it. It's so easy to mess things up and you could totally offend someone. I remember learning that the word "Ma" can mean 5 (yes, FIVE) different things, all depending how you accent it. You may end up calling your MIL a horse! Yikes. And make sure you speak to knowledgeable people about traditions...even how to eat in their culture. I know in Ethiopia (a friend of mine studied abroad there) people you find offense in your food touching your lips (as you put it in your mouth...it's hard not to). This may be a bigger can of worms than you care to deal with, plus some of your guests may find offense. 

FutureJilliannD

I wouldn't be offended per se, but I would think it was super weird. If I were from one of those cultures I might be offended however.

I mean, I have Indian friends and I think their weddings have been gorgeous, but I would never have an indian themed wedding.

If you are just planning on using colors and a few other elements, like maybe lanterns for Morocco, then I don't think that would be too bad. But I wouldn't go overboard. Although in the interests of full disclosure, I am not much for themed weddings in general.

jazzybacc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ok-caucasion-moroccan-asian-themed-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4b984653-bb24-4206-9571-e9afdf2f5ab0Post:929fdb7c-3982-47db-a186-7acd7cc08cd6">Re: Is it ok to be caucasion and have Moroccan or Asian themed wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't be offended per se, but I would think it was super weird. If I were from one of those cultures I might be offended however. I mean, I have Indian friends and I think their weddings have been gorgeous, but I would never have an indian themed wedding. If you are just planning on using colors and a few other elements, like maybe lanterns for Morocco, then I don't think that would be too bad. But I wouldn't go overboard. Although in the interests of full disclosure, I am not much for themed weddings in general.
Posted by FutureJilliannD[/QUOTE]

Totally unrelated, but Jilliann, your cake is going to be GORGEOUS!

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ok-caucasion-moroccan-asian-themed-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4b984653-bb24-4206-9571-e9afdf2f5ab0Post:929fdb7c-3982-47db-a186-7acd7cc08cd6">Re: Is it ok to be caucasion and have Moroccan or Asian themed wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't be offended per se, but I would think it was super weird. If I were from one of those cultures I might be offended however. I mean, I have Indian friends and I think their weddings have been gorgeous, but I would never have an indian themed wedding. If you are just planning on using colors and a few other elements, like maybe lanterns for Morocco, then I don't think that would be too bad. But<strong> I wouldn't go overboard.</strong> Although in the interests of full disclosure, I am not much for themed weddings in general.
Posted by FutureJilliannD[/QUOTE]

Colors and/or accents here or there wouldn't come across as offensive, to me. I would be confused if you had an asian theme and weren't asian.. but if you just had colors, I wouldn't really relate it with a culture.

tehlilone

I agree with a lot of the previous posters. I see no problem with drawing inspiration from their cultures, just don't go too overboard. From what I read you're only incorporating decorations and color schemes, not traditions and ceremonies. If you have a reason behind doing those themes, it would definitely not seem weird.

I think you might find additional inspiration about executing culturally themed weddings without going over the top by looking at modern cultural weddings or destination wedding ideas. I know people have destination type wedding themes that are readily acceptable especially if the couple cannot go to that destination in reality. 

Be careful though. I've seen pictures of weddings gone wrong when people choose a theme and it ends up looking like a cheap birthday party.

Santorini2011

Go for it...but gently.  It is not unusual to use rich colors and some of those elements.  I'd recommend not serving the foods, using their ceremonies, etc.

Ultimately, the wedding is yours and should reflect you.  If you feel a tie to these cultures but just don't happen to be Moroccan or Chinese, it is still a part of who you are.

It's like if you incorporate your favorite colors, food, songs, etc.  It is what you like.