Catholic/Methodist

[Deleted User]

I am Methodist and my FI is Catholic.  He doesn't practice it, but that is what he grew up.  My future MIL asked if it would be ok to have a Catholic priest come and bless our marriage at the Methodist church.  I don't have a problem with it, but has anyone ever heard of this being done?

HobokensFury

Sorry but you are not going to find a Catholic priest that will do this. It's against Vatican law.

[Deleted User]

Ok...that makes sense!  Thanks!

ElisabethJoanne

If he's not practicing, he's not in good standing. The issue is how hard he wants it to be to go back to good standing.

There are Roman Catholic Priests who would cooperate with your idea. More knowledgeable people say it is contrary to the Laws of the Church.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholicmethodist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4d1ab8fb-b2ba-42f0-8092-7569d3415fa3Post:4b7229ed-1b41-4eeb-92d7-eef97a8a6108">Re: Catholic/Methodist</a>:
[QUOTE]Hoboken, I assume you mean coming to the wedding at the Methodist church to give a blessing, not the two officiating together?  I think we posted at the same time.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]


Yes you are correct.

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholicmethodist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4d1ab8fb-b2ba-42f0-8092-7569d3415fa3Post:2885cc02-da41-4443-a758-34fa56f7594c">Re: Catholic/Methodist</a>:
[QUOTE]If he's not practicing, he's not in good standing. The issue is how hard he wants it to be to go back to good standing. There are Roman Catholic Priests who would cooperate with your idea. More knowledgeable people say it is contrary to the Laws of the Church.
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]



Not anyone in good standing. Any priest that would do this is no longer practicing/ in good standing with the RC church.

[Deleted User]

Yeah, when she mentioned it I didn't think that could be possible.  Thanks girls!

monkeysip

There are situations in which you can get a dispensation from the Bishop of your diocese to have your ceremony outside of a Catholic Church.

This is typically if either the bride or groom have a very important reason to get married in a different church, for example, if the bride's father were a protestant minister (still assuming that the groom is catholic). 

Your FI can ask his priest (or a priest) if a dispensation might be possible so that you both could marry in your methodist church.  If not, you would have to marry in the Catholic Church *if* FI wanted to be able to ever receive communion again.  If your marriage is not recognized by the Catholic Church, but later, your FI decides that he does want to practice his faith again, you both might be able to have your marriage convalidated by the Church (and therefore recognized).  But not all priests will do this.

Either way, you both need to figure out what role religion will play in your lives and marriage in the future.  Good luck!

monkeysip

Also, I'd just like to add that you should not get married in the Catholic Church if it is just to please his mother (or have a priest come "bless" your marriage or anything).

If your FI wants to, then that's different.  But you can't let his family (or yours) make these kinds of decisions for you.  Religion is a very personal and sacred thing, not something to just go through the motions to please family.

ElisabethJoanne

CMGr is wrong in what I'm talking about. Yes, you can easily find Catholic clergy who have formally left the Roman Catholic Church and go on as rent-a-priests. Some are very upfront about their situations. Some are more subtle. People aware of the issue can always spot them.

But you can also find Roman Catholic parish Priests who would cooperate with OP's plan. They are rare, but they do exist. Most people say they should be stopped and disciplined by their Bishops. And there's an argument brides shouldn't encourage them to violate Canon Law. But just because something is contrary to Canon Law doesn't mean it never happens.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholicmethodist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4d1ab8fb-b2ba-42f0-8092-7569d3415fa3Post:fe2f8834-0161-4763-b188-5959406181da">Re: Catholic/Methodist</a>:
[QUOTE]I doubt if any Catholic priest would do this. The rules regarding marriage are very strict.   There is an alternative. You can get married in a Catholic church with both a Methodist minister and a Catholic priest officiating together.  There does not need to be a mass (communion).  This way, your FI will have the option of staying in good standing with the Catholic church, and your marriage will be recognized by the church.  My mother did this when she married a man who was Catholic.  You do not need to convert to be married in a Catholic church. If your FI marries anywhere but in a Catholic church, he will be barred from participating in the mass.  This is a very big deal for a Catholic, and cannot be easily reversed. If your FI is absolutely sure that he will never want to practice his Catholic faith again, then being married in a Methodist church will be fine.  The Catholic church will not recognize your marriage, which is why your FMIL is concerned about it.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This is incorrect.  You may marry FI in a Methodist church if you have a Catholic priest co officiating. You will need a dispensation but it's often done. My brother was married in a Congregationalist church with their minister and a priest officiating together.

<em>This is a decision for your FI, he must want to practice his religion, it is not his mother's decision.</em>

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholicmethodist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4d1ab8fb-b2ba-42f0-8092-7569d3415fa3Post:6a37d44f-b1b4-47a1-a2f9-5eb0d7b9002d">Re: Catholic/Methodist</a>:
[QUOTE]Good to know!  You do need a dispensation from the Catholic bishop, though?
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

No,, your pastor does that for you

egm900

A dispensation is only granted under limited circumstances, the most common being when the non-Catholic family has a major problem with the Catholic Church.  Yes, a dispensation is only given by a bishop.  

It's not impossible to get a convalidation, it depends on the Archdiocese. There either needs to be a reason (i.e. military being deployed shortly) or some Archdioceses will allow it in cases like this where the Catholic was not practicing and later had a change of heart, however, they usually require the marriage to have taken place many years before (I've heard of 5-10 years to ensure they weren't just trying to get around the rules) and for the couple to go through pre-Cana.