Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Change Name Socially not Leagally?

Ok, so I've been reading the posts about changing my last name.  I was all for changing, but now I'm having second thoughts.  I've seen some of you post that you're changing your name socially, but not leagally.  Can you please give me some more info?
Does that mean that ALL of your ID stays in your maiden name?  Drivers license, Passport, health card, social insurance card, credit cards, bank accounts, yadda yadda?
I'm just wondering if I leave my government issued ID (Drivers license, Passport, health card, social insurance card) in my maiden name and just changed my name at the banks, credit cards, etc, if that would be ok or would it be too confusing?
I like idea of being Mrs. X, but I just don't think it's necessary to change it legally....
Opinions please.

Re: Change Name Socially not Leagally?

  • I did not legally change my name.  So my passport, driver's license, etc. are in my old/new/same name.

    But I do take my husband's name socially.  People call me Mrs. HisLastName all the time and I see no reason to correct them. 

    It's really just as simple as that ;)
  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited May 2010

    Oh, and I don't think you can/should change some accounts and not your I.D. and vice versa.  Your name either changes or it doesn't... 

    So putting Mrs. X on your bank account and leaving Ms. Y on your driver's license really doesn't make sense.  How would you prove you're Mrs. X if you wanted to access the money?  Your I.D. would say you're Ms. Y... 

    You can only be one person, so your name is your legal name ;)  It's all or nothing.

    In my case, it was nothing and that's worked out just fine for me.

  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_change-name-socially-not-leagally?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4eec3fa4-a519-45f0-bb46-ef2a5667487fPost:58ee3806-d08e-4599-a276-d1974a1b8b43">Re: Change Name Socially not Leagally?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did not legally change my name.  So my passport, driver's license, etc. are in my old/new/same name. But I do take my husband's name socially.  People call me Mrs. HisLastName all the time and I see no reason to correct them.  It's really just as simple as that ;)
    Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I plan to do.
    (or not do, depending on how you look at it)
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have several friends that have gone this route.  On paper, they are Ms. Birthname.  But their friends and family call them Mrs. Hisname.  They just didn't see the point of going through the legal hassle, but are fine with being called his name.  I don't think it's possible to change some documents but not others.  Your bank and company have to use the name on your license, SS card & passport.  

    I sort of think of it like my first name.  I've been called by my middle name my whole life.  My license, paycheck, passport, bank, whatever all have my first, middle initial, last, but everyone I know refers to me as middle.  
  • It's all or nothing. Everything you do and the way the government knows you is by your SSN so anything that has your SSN on it must match the name on your SS card. 
  • All or nothing.  You can't change some accounts but not others.
  • I never changed mine the first time (marriage of 18  years) and I didn't change it this time, either.  He frequently gets called mr. Herlastname because of my position in my company, and because of other social situations, such as my Scottish Clan.  So truthfully, he uses my name a lot socially, his birth name legally.  However, for a few people that call me Mrs. Hislastname, no big whoop, I don't correct them. 

    For introductions, though, I usually say, And this is my husband, Todd Hislastname so there's less room for error. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • There is nothing wrong with only changing your name socially. HOWEVER, do not change things such as 401K's, bank accounts, stocks, or the like. My great-grandmother changed her name 'socially' but then put some of her assets in her social (but non-legal name). When she died in the 90's, it caused a huge problem with her will requiring lots of expensive lawyers and a probate judge (of course this was all complicated by the fact that since she was born in the 19th century, she had no birth certificate).
  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I'm doing the same thing.  I don't want to change my name legally.  We already have the house, the accounts, etc.  I just don't see the purpose.  We're not having anymore children either.  So, I'll use his name socially and informally on mailings and such, but not change it legally.  It'll work for me.
  • Yes all of your Id's would stay in your last name. But friends would probably invite you places and you might get mail as Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname. 

    You would probably need an aka on your bank accounts though. My friends that use their middle name instead of first name or kept their maiden name, do this for bank accounts, just in case checks get made out to them without the proper name on them. Your bank can tell you how to add an aka.

    I know I will be keeping my last name. I'm an artist and established my last name as my working name years ago. But I like the idea being invited places socially, using Mrs.Hislastname. 

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