Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Can I have a guy on my side?

We are thinking about giong ultra simple.
He wants to have his brother has his best man.  Sort of a no brainer.
I don't have a sister.  I would like to have my brother stand up on my side.
That means no brides"maids".
Do you think people would think this was terrible?

Re: Can I have a guy on my side?

  • I would think it was awesome. My fiance is going to ask my brother to be his best man, but I would definitely ask him to be my "man of honor" if my fiance weren't. It's becoming much more common for attendants to not match the gender of their attendee (that can't be the right word?), and I wouldn't think twice about it, especially if it was a brother. If you don't care about not having bridesmaids to help you get dressed (or whatever else it is that bridesmaids do), then I say go for it.
  • I hadn't even thought about what to call it.
  • It is perfectly ok for your brother to stand up on your side. It is happening more and more at weddings.
  • People are now smarter, and the original, historical reason for BMs has completely morphed into honoring friends instead of trying to trick evil spirits.  (google the history of BMs.)

    Anyway, people are now realizing that WPs are not about gender or symmetry, and they choose those they care about to stand with them on their side.  It's not completely brand new either:  6 years ago my friend had her brother as her honor attendant, and her DH had his sister as his honor attendant.

    I say do it.  And you can simply call both your Honor Attendants.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • A friend of mine is having his daughter as his best person. 
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  • My brother is my Man of Honor.  He is super pumped about it!  Ask your brother, I'm sure he will be honored and you will be very happy if it's who you truly want up there with you.
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  • This is maybe an unusual perspective, but my fiancee and I, being both girls, have broken it up as follows

    MOH (her best friend)

    BM1 (her high school friend)

    BM2 (her little sister)

    BMan (my best friend, who's also her MOH's fiance)
    GM1 (my high school bff who happens to be male)
    GM2 (my little brother)

    so my entire party is men.  I guess you could say we're lucky in that all her best friends are girls and all my best friends are guys, but really, we wouldn't have minded if hadn't broken down that way.  We're going to be pretty non-trad as it is.  :)

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  • It's absolutely fine. My best guy friend stood up with me. In the programs, I simply listed "Bride's Attendants" and "Groom's Attendants."
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • edited August 2010
    My brother will be on my side. My FI offered to put him on his side, but he doesn't know my brother that well - he has 3 friends standing up with him. I only had 2 girlfriends on my side, so I think it will work out well.

    [QUOTE]It's absolutely fine. My best guy friend stood up with me. In the programs, I simply listed "Bride's Attendants" and "Groom's Attendants."
    Posted by twilight.rose[/QUOTE]

    This is what I'm doing as well. Technically my brother will be a "bridesman."
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  • I originally asked my best friend, a man, to stand up with me. My Dad absolutely threw a fit (well, he also threw a fit when he found out my sister who is also my MOH won't be wearing a dress but pants instead.) I personally don't care but he claimed I was turning my wedding into a circus. The problem was easily resolved when my man-friend had to move to Canada and won't be able to make it in any case. I suppose my Dad will simply have to get over my sister's attire now. haha

    I say, do what works for you and your wedding. Every wedding is different, or at least it should be. I think it would be wonderful if you asked your brother to stand with you, and like other posts, I think he would be honored also. GL!
  • I think your brother would be honored. I don't see anything wrong with it. 
    It's your wedding... do whatever you want!
  • I'm having my best guy friend (who I actually refer to as my "brother" since he is really the big brother that I never had [I'm an only child]) stand up on my side (he'll be wearing the same kind of tux as the groomsmen) and my fiance is having one of his female friends standing on his side (wearing a tux as well, since she doesn't wear dresses or skirts). No one has really given us an flack over it, since we're not exactly the most traditional couple to begin with.
  • We're another couple who didn't even follow traditional gender roles in selecting each other (we're both female), much less our wedding party.  When we got engaged, we asked my daughter to be maid of honor, and my son to be best man.  My daughter agreed immediately.  My son said he couldn't be best man, since a best man is a groom's attendant, and we had no groom.  We compromised by having him be our "dude of honor."
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Can I have a guy on my side?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We compromised by having him be our "dude of honor."
    Posted by 2dBride[/QUOTE]

    That is awesome!
  • disastermollydisastermolly member
    First Comment
    edited August 2010
    25 years ago, my brother was my Man of Honor.  It raised some eyebrows then, but it seems very common now.  It'll be a wonderful way to honor your relationship with him.
    Molly and Mike
    Celebrating 25 years on October 29, 2012
  • I am calling my guy on my side my bridesman
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  • Absolutely!  When I married the first time (18 years ago), I had two attendants, a best man (instead of a maid/matron of honor) and a bridesmaid.  When I marry next year, I will have one attendant, a best man (my son!).

    Go for it!!
  • My brother is standing up for me and FI's brother is standing up for him.  My brother is so excited and I can't imagine having anyone else by my side that day!  I say go for it!
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