Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum


I need some help on how speeches are traditionally handled.
Problem 1: I have two maid of honors, do they both give a speech or does just one?
Problem 2: My parents are divorced, not completely amicable and would both like to say something.  Can they make a toast together or is that super awkward?  Should they say something separate or is that just too much? 
Problem 3:  My dad might very well embarass the heck out of me.  Is he supposed to give an actual speech or is it meant to be just a welcoming toast?

I just want to know what is normally done so I can begin to deal with this.

Re: Speeches

  • Whoever you want (who also is willing to do one!) can do one.  There certainly is a traditional order to the speeches, and a traditional set of people who do them.  That being said, you can do whatever you please these days.

    1 - Yes, both MOHs can speak.  In the interest of time I had my 2 girlfriends go together as one "unit".
    2 - Ask your parents what they want to do.  My dad wanted to speak but my mom didn't, so that's what we did.  If they aren't amicable I wouldn't force (or even suggest) that they do something together.
    3 - Talk to your dad about what you don't want him to say.  It's okay to set some limits and tell him your concerns, you don't want him talking about embarrassing story X or Y or whatever, make sure you're on the same page.  It's also okay to give him a recommended time (2 or 5 minutes or whatever) so he knows generally what to plan for.  And then hopefully he respects your wishes on all fronts.

    We had our best man do the welcome, my grandfather do the dinner blessing, and then the best man introduced the different speeches (2 girlfriends together, my siblings together, H's parents, my dad) which were spaced out throughout dinner between the courses.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I'd definitely call them toasts instead of speeches -- it makes people think of being brief.
  • Thanks for the information ladies!  I've been saying toast to my mom and dad but my mom the other day was like "I have to start working on my speech".  I had literally meant for them to stand up, welcome people, thank everyone for coming and wrap it up.  I'm just going to have to lay it out for everyone so that there isn't too much confusion and a bunch of long speeches!
  • Avoid the Speech!!! it'll drag out too long- by then ppl will want to finish up eating, get back to drinking, and enjoy dancing! Just a few are fine.
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