Who should is invited to the shower?

dcnunes

I have a wedding guest list ready that I'm using to do the shower guest list (woman list) but I have a lot of gyus on my FI side that would not be invited to the shower should I send them an invitation anyway? Please I need ideas and recommendations. Thanks

tldh

First, it's the hostess of the shower who decides the guest list.  Not you.  You can make suggestions but that's it.

Second, unless this is going to be a Jack and Jill shower, men are not invited.

rlavach

Depending on your cultural background, men are or aren't invited. We decided to do ladies only, even though it is common in the Hispanic community to do it as a couples shower.

For the guest list, ask whoever is throwing the shower for how many they can accomodate. If they say 30, then pick 30 women from your guest list. Obviously, those who are family and closer friends should get first pick. Not everyone going to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower, but everyone invited to the shower needs to be invited to the wedding.

I don't agree that whoever hosts the shower picks the guests because what if they don't know all of your guests and end up inviting a former coworkers, rather than your aunt. They don't know your guests like you do. 

tldh

That's why I said she can suggest guests but it is still being hosted by someone else.  I think  most people have a few showers depending on how many circles they have in their lives.  All the ones my friends had broke down as a shower each for work, her family (which usually includes her friends and sometimes FI's family), and FI's family.

toothpastechica

My FI's parents friend threw a shower for me and my mom has offered to host one as well, so I just added my mom and bridesmaids to the one that the friend is throwing so they can meet that side if they want, only one bridesmaid came since I let them know my mom is throwing one at a later date that will be more 'my side'. I think who gets invited should really be determined on is the host even asking for a list from you for one, how much room they have, if anyone else in a different circle has offered to throw you a shower ( generally I wouldnt want to invite the same people to more than one shower), and then I would probably keep the circles (like weddings) in mind....inviting molly from work when 2 other people from work are invited to the wedding but not the shower might not be the best move. I usually tend to stick to only family and very very close friends, if the host wants to invite more thats fine, but I dont want to come across as gift grabby and I think the easiest way for me to control that is to not invite people to showers just because theres room.

dori851

I made the guest list for my shower as well, but was asked to do so. If you were asked to do the same, then it's completely up to you whether or not you want to invite guys & girls, or just girls. We decided to go with girls only. FI has friends on the list that will obviously not be invited to the shower. But, I did invite some of his friend's SOs (the ones that I know). Maybe you could do that if you know/are friends with them?

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-should-is-invited-to-the-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:529d0e30-0a70-44b8-8a24-fdec67bb0615Post:114a6d89-8214-4db8-987d-82c463292934">Re: Who should is invited to the shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's why I said she can suggest guests but it is still being hosted by someone else. <strong> I think  most people have a few showers depending on how many circles they have in their lives.</strong>  All the ones my friends had broke down as a shower each for work, her family (which usually includes her friends and sometimes FI's family), and FI's family.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]
Lucky you. I'd say I have about 3 circles in my life, but I got 1 shower and am grateful. We have a smallish reception (95 invited), so I certainly wouldn't expect more than 1 shower. I was just happy to even have one!

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-should-is-invited-to-the-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:529d0e30-0a70-44b8-8a24-fdec67bb0615Post:a248dbb3-b03e-4512-b6c7-b754f47d2d99">Re: Who should is invited to the shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who should is invited to the shower? : Lucky you. I'd say I have about 3 circles in my life, but I got 1 shower and am grateful. We have a smallish reception (95 invited), so I certainly wouldn't expect more than 1 shower. I was just happy to even have one!
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

FTR - I only had one shower also and it was a surprise shower thrown by the women I work with.  We had 30 guests, none of whom I worked with so I definitely wasn't expecting anything.  I still don't think it's the bride's place to make up the guest list.

pinkbunny8385

this is off topic but where do you find the "invited, ready to party, lost in the mail" siggy?

evanquil

If the shower is co-ed, then yes you can invite men.