Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Garters and The Customs Related

First of all, greetings to everyone. I am early in my wedding planning (and early in my life, actually.) I'm 18 and my wedding is to be sometime in June of 2014. 

I would like a garter for my wedding. I've looked at the pictures on this site, but alas I see no designated section for this. Traditionally the garter is to symbolize my deflowering. I do not wish to have my husband-to-be pull it off with his teeth, nor throw my garter to the unmarried men in the audience. I would like it to simply be a short ceremonial thing, where he pulls it off and that's that. 

Does anyone know decent sites for purchasing a garter, or simply browsing them? 

Re: Garters and The Customs Related

  • Etsy has a good selection of custom ones. I surprised my husband with a Green Bay Packers one, told my photographer I wanted a picture when he looked at it, and still giggle at the results.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • Mine came from Micheals, I think, but if you want a more special one, I second etsy. They have lots of cute things.

    This may be a silly question, but why have him pull it off in front of everyone, and not throw it?  You could always save it as a special surprise just for him if you are uncomfortable with the implications.
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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I used this website when my daughter married.........

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_garters-and-the-customs-related?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:599f1a14-f86e-45b0-ab03-233cc0ec025cPost:7cb7c15a-3dd2-456b-8c6b-915a3962cd1f">Re:Garters and The Customs Related</a>:
    [QUOTE] I'm surprised you want a public ceremony designed to celebrate losing your virginity, but you are against having it tossed. I get tossing without removing but not removing without tossing.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  If your issue with the garter removal is the association with with you losing your virginity, why would you keep that part but exclude the meaningless part?  </div>
  • There was no chance in hell I was doing the tacky "Remove the garter/toss it" tradition at my wedding.  I had no qualms skipping it.
  • Just skip the whole garter thing. 

    You can still wear one if you want - but then you can wear one every day of the year if you wanted too. 
    I have never been to a wedding with a garter toss or anything like it. 
  • Agreed with PPs. I would definitely skip the garter "ceremonial thing". It's not a requirement.

    I still wanted to wear one, even though we didn't do the garter toss. So, I made my garter in my favorite colors with silver charms that were meaningful. It was actually really fun, I learned how to do it from YouTube tutorials.

    Since you have so much time until your wedding, it might be a fun DIY project to get in the wedding spirit!
  • I bought mine from etsy.  my hubby did take it off of me at the reception, but then we had ALL the girls catch the bouqet and ALL the guys catch the garter (not just the singles!)... we gave out gift cards to whoever caught them.  the actual taking off the garter can be as simple or elaborate as you want. hubby stuck his head under my dress to be funny, but there were definitely no teeth involved.

    we also played appropriate music so that it lightened the atmosphere (i threw my bouqet while the NBC olympic theme played --- i'm an athlete and this was last august while the olympics were going on!).


    that being said -- you can certainly skip everything and just wear the garter and have your hubby take it off of you at the end of the night when you're together.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd skip the garter thing and just wear it without tossing it.
  • My DH pulled it off with his hands (no teeth.  That's a little innaproriate in my opinion.  Plus, I could never do that in front of my grandmas!) and threw it.  It was low (I had it mid-thigh but it slid down throughout the ceremony and reception so it was just a little above my knee) and I didn't hike my skirt up to garter level either.  My little bro actually caught it.  :D

  • Ok, the longer I'm on the Knot and the more prevalent I realize the 'over the top garter toss' tradition is, the more horrified I get.

    Growing up, all I thought it was is the groom removing the garter, throwing it, everyone laughs and sits down.  NEVER would I have dreamed that it also involved having the girl who caught the bouquet have some dude grope her leg to put used lingere on her.  GACK!!!  People do this???

    We had the garter toss, but H was blushing enough just from rummaging under the skirt (he's adorable).  No head under, no teeth, no public shaming of other people involved.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_garters-and-the-customs-related?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:599f1a14-f86e-45b0-ab03-233cc0ec025cPost:1037aabe-50fb-457d-ba95-034548e83bd8">Re: Garters and The Customs Related</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hav never heard of the garter removal as being losing virginity. I'm from a VERY conservative, old-fashioned Southern-lady type society. it was done discreetly - none of that teeth removal or pulling large panties and other stuff from under her skirt, or going completely under it tacky things that people do today. The garter was a reverse tradition of bouquet tossing for the guys. Nothing more.  In some circles the garter was saved and worn by the baby as a headband at the first child's christening, if it was a girl.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>this! this was always my understanding as well. I LOVE the headband idea. After reading all the responses on this post I was so embarrassed! I had never heard of it symbolizing the loss of the brides virginity. Like pp said, if your uncomfortable with it wear the garter for your groom and enjoy it as husband and wife in private after the wedding.</div>
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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_garters-and-the-customs-related?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:599f1a14-f86e-45b0-ab03-233cc0ec025cPost:e66f1175-5ad2-40ad-8a3d-87b78f47ef7e">Re: Garters and The Customs Related</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, the longer I'm on the Knot and the more prevalent I realize the 'over the top garter toss' tradition is, the more horrified I get. Growing up, all I thought it was is the groom removing the garter, throwing it, everyone laughs and sits down.  <strong>NEVER would I have dreamed that it also involved having the girl who caught the bouquet have some dude grope her leg to put used lingere on her.  GACK!!!  People do this???</strong> We had the garter toss, but H was blushing enough just from rummaging under the skirt (he's adorable).  No head under, no teeth, no public shaming of other people involved.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    <div>This actually happened to me at my 2nd cousin's wedding (years ago, when I was much younger) and the slimy friend of the groom who caught the garter reached up my skirt to put it on my leg! Yuck! He had to have been close to 40! I was mortified and to top it all off, my other cousin (17 at the time) decided to be a total douche and yell out "She's only 14" over the crowd. So embarrassing!!!!</div><div>
    </div><div>I will not do a garter or bouquet toss at my wedding. I think it's cheesy. I will wear a pretty garter (if I receive one at my shower) but I will save its removal for a private moment with new husband.</div>

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  • Garters are really easy to make from wide ribbon (folded over,) lace (if you want,) and elastic. Most of my high school dance garters were made by my mom as I was doing my makeup.
    I myself would refuse to let my husband remove my undergarment publicly, and I assume he would be as unenthusiastic as me doing the same to him. I don't judge when people do this, however.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_garters-and-the-customs-related?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:599f1a14-f86e-45b0-ab03-233cc0ec025cPost:3926434e-c2be-4d59-a706-c5a3adaca4fd">Re: Garters and The Customs Related</a>:
    [QUOTE]I never heard of a "custom" of the Best Man putting the garter on the person who caught the bouquet until The Knot. Never saw that in my life....and I'm glad. Ew <a href="http://www......." rel="nofollow">www.......</a>
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]


    This.
  • I have a question not about the original post, but it's a garter-related question and I didn't want to start a new thread. Here it goes:

    Some garters are personalized or have sports teams/characters/hobbies on them that the groom likes.  Does it have to be that way? I'm a female police officer, and I've seen some police themed garters that I like, but my husband-to-be is a mechanic.  Would it be dumb to have a police themed garter when the groom is not a cop? Or do I need to stick to a garter that relates to him or one of his hobbies?
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