Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

no favors?

Hey everyone,
So the groom and I have been chatting and he's mentionned he does not want us to give out favors at the wedding. My idea was to make bottles of home made whine and get a label designed.

Anyone else do the no favor thing? It's an intimate wedding, 50-60 people so I'm not sure what etiquette is on this? Would it look weird?
Thanks!

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Re: no favors?

  • Really, you can do whatever you want.  There is no etiquette surrounding favors.  On the boards, it's a popular opinion that most favors go in the trash - honestly, homemade wine sounds a little scary, but I like the idea of wine in general or something else that's edible.
  • I probaly won't do favors. It's coming down to either providing bus transportation for my guests (mostly oot) from the hotel to the ceremony and reception sites, or buying scented votive candles. I'm pretty sure I know which one *I* would appreciate more as a guest. And I almost never take favors with me anyway.
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  • I knw someone whose dad made all the wine for her wedding.  It's no scarier than any other wine, bbyckes.  However, if you have any guests who are flying they wouldn't be able to take it, unless the rules have changed again....
  • I get enough "whine" at home, but I think i'd like homemade wine, if I knew it was a hobby of the B&G and they were good at it. Otherwise, Id look at it a little sketchy.

    We are also debating about favors. I don't see the point, unless they are edible, but the less we spend on favors, the more we can spend on actual food and drink.
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  • We're making a donation to some favorite charities in our guests honor as our "favors", and also using these charities as an alternative to doing a gift registery. We will probably have little cards printed announcing the fvaor donation using the plantable card stock.
  • We gave our lemon, grape, and cherryheads as our favors.  Anything other than edible either gets left behind or tossed when we get home.  If I saved every favor I got a wedding my home would be overrun with knick-knacky clutter.

    With that being said, I'd probably be okay with homemade wine but I suspect that many may not be.  Is this something that most if not all of your guests would like and appreciate?  If not, rethink it.
  • edited December 2009
    you do not have to have favors if you don't want to. most people don't want them and throw them away at the earliest opportunity, or don't even take any favors with them. donation-type favors, where you donate in a guest's name to the charity of your choice? not a fan. I'm like, "gee thanks, I don't even support this charity." it's a non-favor favor, imo.

    I initially didn't want favors at all. then I found koozies that could be printed for extremely cheap (less than $1 apiece). with my fairly casual wedding, and knowing my guest list, that would be a hit and fewer will be thrown away. I would keep any extras since I always seem to be lacking a koozie and I need build up my collection for when we have house parties.
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  • love the idea of home made whine!!!
  • I would say on average I would agree that I have never been a fan of the wedding favor, but having said that.... food is always a bit hit - if it is a money factor you can buy a box of specialty cookies or chocolates and repackage in favor boxes - remember what it is all about, a small thank you for sharing in the day.  Originally we were looking at giving a small bottle of champagne with some truffles for each couple, my fiance felt that for some that were attending it would be a waste.  instead I am doing small ( 2 packs) of chocolates at each place setting with a thank you note attached - we have hired our photographers assistant to set up a nice corner at the reception site to take couples/families photos during the cocktail reception hour - while we are in having dinner the 4x6 photo's will be printed and put into frames for guests to take home at the end of the evening - perfect in my mind - don't know how many times you go somewhere and get dressed up, look great, no photo,.... and when they look at it they will always remember where it was taken
  • I actually just asked this question on a board a few days ago.  My FI makes his own mead (honey wine) and we were thinking of giving that out as favors, but decided against it bc it would take a lot of time and people may not like it/want it.  We were going to nix the whole favor idea, but I made the post and a lot of people suggested making a donation in lieu of the favors and giving guests a little piece of paper explaining that a donation was made to ___ Charity in their name and giving the rundown on that charity.  We've found an organization that we'd like to donate to and are going to go down that route.  It's an organization that means a lot to us, and will be more meaningful to us and (hopefully) our guests than something they may or may not use.
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  • We didn't do favors because we end up throwing out the favors we get at other weddings, but the thought is nice.  We decided to spend the money that we would have spent on favors on a lunch the day of the wedding for everyone.  We had a destination wedding.  Everyone that could make it to the lunch loved it. It was just cold cuts, bread, cookies and drinks prepared by the hotel's catering dept.   
  • I would think homemade "whine" would be cute, but I would throw it in the trash. Not to be mean, but I like good wine and my entire family probably wouldn't even try it.

    We gave Lindt truffles for our favors. They were easy and it was fine with me if people didn't eat them. We put them in little red boxes with a note inside that said "our wedding day wouldn't have been the same without you here". I just wanted each guest to get a small thank you just in case I didn't get around to talking to them. I heard that people loved the Lindt truffles. I know I love them!!
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  • Be careful on the donation favour, as I think some people view it as a tax write off for the B&G - benefiting them and not their guests.

    Personally, I'm a fan of homemade treats.
  • We're wrestling with the idea of nixing them as well.  We are having a pretty big wedding (approx. 350 guests) and it is going to be expensive enough just to feed them all! 

    What I have considered as well is making CDs with all of our wedding day music on them, then maybe some songs that mean a lot to us or something.  I got one at a wedding once and it is seriously the ONLY wedding favor I have ever kept.
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  • i think since the receptions going to be in the evening i was going to make little baskets of homeade lolipops that are like chamomile flavor and little treats especially since there are a lot of kids in the family. Im just gonna get a little tull some cheap baskets or mugs and make a tag that says sweet dreams simple and sweet.
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  • I am appalled at people who think a charitable donation is done for a tax write off.  I have always appreciated when people donate rather than spend the money on candy or something with a heart on it that nobody wants.  It's 2009.  People donate to charities in lieu of Christmas gifts!  There are many, many people who are in need of either personal help (like those the Salvation Army serve) or who are sick and deserve our donations to be made to help find a cure.  Whoever said that they "don't support that charity" should think about the bride and groom for a second and not themselves.  I am definitely donating to a charity.  I'd rather not throw my money in the trash. 
  • Of all the weddings I have been to the only wedding favor I still have is a music cd of songs that are special to the couple. I love that as a favor. My mom on the other hand has the christmas ornament from her brothers wedding about 6 year ago and I think that is a cool gift that doesnt have to be thrown away just stashed until the few months its on display.

    For my wedding I am planning on ordering sticky notes with your name and date. Who cant use paper? or so I am hoping!!
  • I among those in the previous post that rarely take favors with me.  We decided to do a candy buffet instead of favors so that everyone can still take something home with them as a little thank you.  I found a great deal on bags at Paper Mart and we're printing labels that say something like "Thank you for making our day sweeter. Please return the favor by stopping by the candy buffet." (I haven't figured out the exact wording yet)
  • I'm just doing favors inexpensively by putting M&Ms in my wedding colors in little white boxes (you can buy 100 at Michael's for less than $20) and tying the boxes with ribbons in my colors and attach thank you tags.  It shows you appreciate your guests but doesn't break the bank.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:5bdfb794-d019-4757-8e78-ccd0f6980050Post:e76308c8-0f70-40f1-bd78-d4b398cd358b">Re: no favors?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would think homemade "whine" would be cute, but I would throw it in the trash. Not to be mean, but I like good wine and my entire family probably wouldn't even try it.
    Posted by rlyttle[/QUOTE]

    Personally, I know several people in my area who make homemade wine and it's quite popular. Even the people who settle for nothing but "good wine" love it.

    I guess the question is, how experienced are you at making wine? If you're going to make wine for all your guests, you'll want to be experienced, so you can be confident it will turn out great. Also, scan your guest list to be sure the majority of your guests a.) drink and b.) would appreciate homemade wine. I know I would hate to go to all that trouble if no one will appreciate it!! But if you're pretty sure your guests will like it, go for it! I think it's a cool idea. My dad used to get a bottle of homemade wine each year as Christmas gift from friends, and that was always his favorite gift.
  • There is a winery close to us that you can design your own blend of wine.  They make the wine and you design a personalized label for the bottles.   If you don't regularly make your own wine maybe there is a place in your area where you can do that. 

    Someone mentioned about out of town guests not being able to take wine on planes.  As long as it is in your checked luggage you can take as much as you want.  We brought back quite a bit of wine from our honeymoon in Napa and didn't have a problem at all. 
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I like the idea of homemade wine, if you are good at it and have done it a lot.  But be careful.  Many states have liquor distributing laws that would make it illegal to give away bottles of wine.  It also may interfere with your venue's liquor license. 

    If you decide to skip the favors and make a donation instead, that's great.  But please don't print up little cards and brag about it to your guests.  There is no legitimate reason to tell people about your donation, and it just comes off that you are boasting about having made it.  If you make donations for unselfish reasons, you understand that there is no need to go around telling people about it.
  • We've been debating not doing favors as well.  We're still torn but something we're considering since our last name will be Jones is doing a bottle of Jones soda for each guest.  On their website you can customize the label, buy in bulk for less money and personalize the messge on the back- we figure people can drink the soda then put whatever in the glass bottle (marbles, fake flower, etc.).  BUt we both agree that something that's either useable or edible is the way to go- wine charms with our initials are another idea we've toyed with- your can DIY them or they have them really inexpensively at

    http://www.littlethingsfavors.com

    Check it out!
    Best of Luck and Congrats!

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