Walking alone...

JJWillis3

I just recently stopped talking with my father. It's a long story that I don't want to share. But it has presented a problem. I am very close with my younger brother. He is in the wedding already as a groosman though. At first I thought about having him walk me down the isle but then that would leave a Bridesmaid to walk alone. Then would he just go stand with the other groomsmen?

Then I thought that I could just walk alone. Which is kind of where my mind is right now. I like the thought of being stong/independant and walking alone.

My Mother passed away years ago. So, now, not having my Mother or my Father it's a little different than I had imagined.

I was thinking about possibly doing a dance with my brother, but who would my Fiance dance with? Would he dance with his sister... his Mom... etc.? Or should we opt out of dances like that? I don't want to take that from my Fiance either though. He is close with his parents.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

LauraT25

I walked alone, and I didn't have a father-daughter dance or any kind of substitute for it.  Generally the father/daughter and mother/son dances are two separate dances, so you don't need to find someone for the groom to dance with while you dance with your brother (if you choose to do that - personally, I wouldn't).  He can still dance with his mother if he wants to.

sister2groom

Three pretty common options (if you want your brother to walk you in)
1) All BMs walk in alone and the Groom and GM are already up at the altar
2) One BM (especially the MOH) could walk in alone
3) 2 BM, 1 GM walk in

justjeanie

I am walking alone.... my dad passed long ago...and this is not my first marriage.. so I am walking by myself as an independent, strong woman. I am thinking of having my fiance meet me half way...or maybe just a lil bit up the aisle and walk me the rest of the way.

MRads

I have seen numerous weddings where the bride walked alone (for a number of reasons), I have seen weddings where the bride walked with both parents and I have seen weddings where the bride and groom walked down the aisle together...do whatever you feel most comfortable with...I dont see a problem with your bro walking you down the aisle and the MOH walking alone

LauraT25

I just wanted to add that it's fine to have the MOH walk down alone if your brother walks you.  I just don't get replacing your dad with your brother, personally.  You say you're close, but a lot of people are close to their brothers.  I feel like if you don't have someone who is a father figure to walk you, or your mother, then it's weird to pick a replacement.  Again, that's just my opinion.

MissOwl

i'm going to walk alone. i suggest it.

JJWillis3

LauraT25 , I am very close with my brother. He may not be a Father figure but he is the closest male to me. My Grandpa lives states away and I'm not sure if he is even going to come to the wedding. He and my grandma are older and don't travel anymore.

My Mom is passed away. She passed away when I was 17. My younger brother and I grew up together living with our Mom. Then when she passed away we lived with our Dad, who we were never close with. Then, after all these things happening, I don't want anything to do with him.

I don't have any Uncles that are close enough, etc.

To me, it's not a matter of who to choose. If I don't walk alone then I want it to be my brother, hands down. I just wasn't sure what I would do with an odd number of Bridesmaids if he walks me etc. I love the idea of my MOH walking alone though. I've never heard of that before. I also don't think that I could dance with my brother. I think we would both start laughing.

Thank you all so much for your input! I REALLY appreciate it.

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5d3a65e8-4f7d-44ca-ad74-2a328fb038bdPost:c917439d-b639-4c97-a0f1-444b0357b88e">Re: Walking alone...</a>:
[QUOTE]LauraT25 , I am very close with my brother. He may not be a Father figure <strong>but he is the closest male to me.</strong>
Posted by JJWillis3[/QUOTE]

I'm really not trying to be mean, but all I am saying is that I personally don't think that you should just have 'the closest male to you' walk you down the aisle.  If you don't have a father figure or your mother in your life, then I don't understand getting a substitute.   And I'm partial to the idea of walking alone, anyway, because I'm not a fan of the whole 'giving away' aspect.

That being said, this is you and your fiance's wedding, and decisions like this are completely up to you.  It's a personal choice, and I think you should do whatever you want to do.  If you choose to have your brother walk you down, I think the logistics will work out just fine, and it will be meaningful to you, which is important.

Miracle Cat

I might have a unique perspective on this one...I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and I've been estranged from my father for 16-17 years, my mother passed away 16 years ago and all of the "family" present on my side for our wedding day will be close friends of mine. I too am trying to decide whether to walk down the aisle on my own or have one of my close male friends walk me down, but I digress this isn't really about me - this is about you.

What do you feel in your heart is the right thing to do for you on your wedding day?

That's the important question. I don't believe that it's in anyone's power (whether they're a father, brother, male friend or other male relative) to give anyone away to anyone, marriage is about giving yourself in all your entirety to your future husband so I really feel that the "giving away" and having someone walk you down the aisle are two totally separate issues.

Nobody is giving me away, but I may want to have the close love and support of a male friend to walk me down the aisle as I make my lifetime commitment to the love of my life... The friend that I'm considering has known me for many years and he's seen how far I've come out of a difficult and dark past into the much brighter light of today...He's absolutely thrilled for me that I have finally found a loving, supportive partner who is good to and for me. I haven't asked my friend about walking me down the aisle yet, because I really want to be 110% sure of my decision before I go ahead and ask him, but I know that he'll be happy to walk me down the aisle if I do ask for his support on my wedding day. As for concerns about bridesmaids and groomsmen walking together I'm not having a large wedding party so I can't really speak to that part of your dilemma - we're having a very small, intimate wedding and our wedding party is made up of just the best man and the maid of honor, no bridesmaids or groomsmen....Immediate family and bridal party will make for about 20 guests at the chapel, the remainder of friends and relatives will join us for our reception.




The chapel I'm getting married in.




Just one of the places on the property where we can see a great photo opportunity for pre and post ceremony photos.




My dress (yes, in these colors). My dress will be floor length with a sweep train.




My Maid of Honor's dress (which will also be floor length)

Unfortunately I can't seem to download a picture of my bouquet or boutonnieres which sucks!

2012JulyBride

My best friend just got married. She was originally thinking of having her brother walk her down the aisle but he was already given the spot of a groomsmen and she wanted us to walk down as couples. She was very unsure of having her father walk her down the aisle because she was already living on her own and in college when he adopted her, but he has been the only father figure who wasn't a drunken abuser. The biggest issue with the father thing was "Who is giving her away" so instead they asked who Presents her.
This is YOUR day (and your fiancee's) so whatever you feel most comfortable doing is what you should do! Remember, there are acceptions to every rule.

lizzyann2nd

I think walking alone is fine as well. I too have had an up and down rollercoster with my father and I dont want him to give me away either. But if you want your brother to walk with you then thats fine to. Its your big day and no one can make you feel bad for the choice you make. Its what you feel is right in your heart.

Lisa50

Walk alone.  You'll love it!  As for the dances, just wait until the wedding day and play it by ear.  Everything doesn't need to be choreographed ... if you and your brother want to dance, it'll happen.  Other guests will join you on the floor and I'm sure you'll have a great time!!

coralee715

I am also walking alone.  My situation is different...this is my second marriage, and my father has passed away.  No one is "giving me away"...I am a strong independent woman who has decided to join my life with my future husband. 

As far as dances...do whatever YOU want...its your day.  You can have a special brother/sister dance for you and your brother and your hubby can have a mother/son dance.

rapunnzzll

There have been lot's of options and ideas given to you in pp's.  You should do what your heart directs you to do.  I agree that walking alone signifies being strong and independent, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having someone walk with you.  It doesn't mean they have to "give you away."  As far as dances go, if you want something like that perhaps you could do a family dance of some sort.  If fi wants his dance with him mom, perhaps it would be an honor to his dad if you danced with him at that time.  I'm sure you will decide on what works best for you.  Don't let anyone tell you that something isn't right, it's your day so whatever you decide is what matters.  Be true to you.

Gellitots

I'd like to walk alone, purely because I dont want the cringe factor

SallyLou4u

Walk with your brother, it will mean a lot to him. Dont worry about your FI dancing with his sister, the dance with your brother replaces the dance with your dad. Heck who knows, you might even talk with your dad again before june. Dont sweat the small details, it will all happen as it will

tlbattaglia

I see nothing wrong with walking alone.