My father was not really around a lot as I grew up, and is still not at this point in my life. He seems like he is trying to make amends, and I acknowledge that and would like to continue (very) gradually working to have a better relationship. I honestly hated him for the longest time until I recently decided hating him did not do me any good, and I just let it go. It has made me a happier person all around. This is obviously not a problem...but...
The problem comes in at the wedding. He is invited and assuming he comes I have some questions on how to handle different situations. He is not helping me financially (I wouldn't expect him to), and as I have expressed, we are not close.
He will most defintely not be walking me down the aisle. I do not have any Grandfathers, as they have both passed, so them walking me down is not really an option. My brother is younger than me and, though I love him tremendously, having him walk me just doesn't "feel" right.
Would it be appropriate for my mom to walk me? The more I think about it, the more I realize that is what I want. Afterall, she is my best friend and has done an impecable job as a single mother. The other option would be for me to walk by myself, which wouldn't be horrible, as my mom raised me to be very independent, so that would also kind of be a tribute to her (mostly justa thought shared between her and me though).
The other problem is for the mother/son father/daughter dance. My mom will be hurt if I have a father/daughter dance. I do not want one, and I totally agree with what she is saying --- she would be upset that she worked so hard to raise me and he gets all the glory. I am just worried about the awkwardness at him being there, and there just not being one with me just standing around while my FI dances with FMIL (not having a mother/son dance is not an option, it would crush my FMIL and I cound't do that to her! I actually like my FMIL
). I originally wanted to actually have a mother daughter dance, but is that to bold?
Like I said, I don't hate my father so I don't want to parade it around in his face that he screwed up and haha you don't get a spotlighted dance with me on my wedding day. But, my mom means so much to me and i think it would mean a lot to her??
I know I shouldn't care about other people's opinions, but I feel like it is just going to make it awkward for his side of the family (I am still close with them) and I also don't think they know the severity of my previous disdain for him (I may not have liked him, but I at least had tact) so they may be confused.
Let me know what your thoughts are on this, either way. TIA!