counseling help

xxpearljam

Even though we are getting married at an outdoor venue, my FI wants to find a catholic minister to do the ceremony.  Which of course we would then go to counseling for.

I am not a religious person and my FI goes to church every once in while, but I don't mind any of this, I am just worried not being catholic myself that when they ask questions about certain things my answers either won't be the "expected" or they will be "wrong" especially if they ask anything about kids.

We haven't started any of this process yet but I feel so lost in what to do. Any ideas?

SaraAndrew2010

Well, to start with a Catholic priest will generally not perform a marriage outside. 

My FI and I are Catholic and we're going through the Catholic marraige preparation process right now. We went to an day-long Pre-Cana class that was suprising practical and not very religious.  Yes, they said prayers and talked about God and the importance of talking about religion with you future spouse.  But most of the class was spent talking about things like how you are going to handle your finances, the traits that are important in a marriage (love, trust, committment, etc), and how we can more effectively communicate with eachother.

Btw, if you want to know more about Catholic weddings, there's a Catholic wedding board under the "Cutural Wedding Boards" section.

MyNameIsNot

In the Catholic faith, a marriage is a sacrament and must be performed in the church, by either a priest or a deacon.  Only a special dispensation from the Bishop will allow the ceremony to be performed outside, and these are very rare.  

If you are serious about having a Catholic wedding, your FI needs to contact his parish immediately and set up an appointment with the priest.  They'll go over all the requirements, including the pre-cana.  It varies regionally,  but generally focuses on creating a conversation between the two of you about everything from spirituality to raising kids to money.    There aren't right/wrong answers.  It's about making sure the two of you have a conversation about potential issues.  Interfaith marriages are very common, so don't worry.

Sometimes you can find a former catholic priest or deacon that is no longer with the church that performs ceremonies available to be hired.  If that's the case, they are no different than any other officiant, and set their own rules for counselling.  Also, they cannot perform the sacrament, and the ceremony won't be recognized by the church, so this might not satisfy your FI.