Need SUGGESTIONS on how to honor my late Man-of-Honor at the wedding

FutureMrsYaeger

My Man-of-honor (my younger brother, only sibling, and best friend) recently passed away suddenly due to a terrible motorcycle accident.  He was literally my Go-To person in wedding planning (even helping me pick out my dress.)  My wedding is June 30th.  Does anyone have any sweet ideas to honor his memory at my wedding?  

We were best friends and so close in age  ("Irish Twins.")  His girlfriend (who happens to be one of my best friends) has really stepped up with the planning.  But I'd like to have some way to honor him.  Some way for me to still feel his presence and let others know he is still with us in spirit on this day.  

Some ideas people have shared so far:  At the reception when we are introduced as Mr & Mrs, I could come in wearing my brother's leather jacket, and leave it on my chair for the reception.  Having a photo of him where I will have the sign in book (I am having photos of our families wedding portraits.)  

Any ideas?

Has anyone else been in such a situation?

I truly appreciate all your help! 

kmmssg

I answered your other post on this and I really encourage you to discuss this with your parents/siblings/g'parents.  What may be meaningful to you could destroy someone else who is also mourning his loss.

TiffannieF

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I wasn't able to have my mother at my wedding and I understand the pain it may cause.  I have some ideas and cautions about "memorials" including how I honored my mother in my bio under "In Memory Of". 

caterpillar85

A friend of the family had a wedding last year and she lost her sister, who was a vet and loved animals. What they did was, instead of doing favors, they used the money that would have gone towards that, and donated it to the ASPCA, in honor of her. They had little notes at each place setting- "A donation on your behalf has been made to the ASPCA organization, in honor of sister's name" (I later found out that the church she had her ceremony/reception at donated her fees towards it too, it was so sweet!)

She said she got the idea from someone else who did it years before... and I'm sure many others have too, it's a great way to help those in need in honor of loved ones.

If there was something that your brother was passionate about, maybe you could do that to honor him.

I also like the jacket idea, but I would run that past your immediate family first just so they are prepared.

caitlinc09

I am so sorry for your loss. My fiance and I are in a similar situation. 

One my my fiance's best friends/groomsmen passed away unexpectedly about a month after we got engaged. We have explored several options and have decided that any specific mention of him is going to take place during the ceremony vs the reception because we don't want to bring down the mood of the entire evening when he would have wanted us to celebrate.

At the beginning of the ceremony, we are going to have the minister do a short moment of silence in memory of him, and we may light a candle as well depending on the weather outside (not if it's windy - the last thing I want is to light a candle and have it blow out.)

Another way we feel we are honoring him is he was not replaced as a groomsmen, we are just uneven on sides, which I personally feel will speak volumes about the situation. If your brother's girlfriend has stepped in in his place up front I think that is also completely appropriate. 

We are also going to do something similar - we are having family photos displayed by the guest book and we plan to have a photo of him and my fiance together. 

I think all these things will truly honor him without totally destroying the evening for everyone mourning him. 

I agree with the last post - the jacket is a wonderful idea, however I would inform your close family and friends before hand so they aren't caught off guard by it. 

Nindakay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-suggestions-honor-late-man-of-honor-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:68e47878-c18b-4a50-8e9c-651b468beb47Post:8bf8ff03-5f8e-4ff5-b149-e54b3b154a0e">Re: Need SUGGESTIONS on how to honor my late Man-of-Honor at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I Another way we feel we are honoring him is he was not replaced as a groomsmen, we are just uneven on sides, which I personally feel will speak volumes about the situation. <strong>If your brother's girlfriend has stepped in in his place up front I think that is also completely appropriate.</strong> Posted by caitlinc09[/QUOTE]

I think this is an awesome idea!!  Who says you can't have a "bridesman" (a friend of mine did this - she had a best man instead of a MOH...totally awesome!) or a "groomswoman".  Unless she is already in your ceremony.....

miranda1211

I'm so sorry for you loss. I love the idea of wearing his jacket. My dad was killed when I was 13, and we'll have a memorial candle for him that will be lit at the very beginning of the ceremony, and then we'll use that flame to light our unity candle. We'll also have a special song played for him at the reception, after the toasts.

Awendolyn

I was also thinking of honouring my gramps and my FI´s gramps by putting empty chairs where they are supposed to be and talk about it in our first speech as husband and wife