Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

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  • Well for the long term relationship, you have to invite the girl even if you don't like her.  People in long term relationships should always be allowed to bring their significant others - they are a social unit.  I would even say you should let the other brother bring a guest too because he is in the wedding party.  Odds are, if you don't let them bring their guests, they're going to be very irritated.

    Instead of having them sit at the head table with you, why don't you and your DH have a sweetheart table, and then you can seat all of your WP with their guests at regular tables.
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  • Regardless of how the long term girls feels about marriage she still needs to be invited and she really should be seated with her BF. It would be an awesome gesture to let the other brother invite whomever at the time.
  • YOu have to invite the long term gf. You and your FI do not get to pick who his brother chooses to date and be around. To not invite her would be a big slight to him. If she hates weddings and marriage so much, she might not even come.

    If the other brother is seeing someone you have been introducted to when you send out invitations, you should also invite her, by name. If they break up in the mean time, she won't come. If they don't, then the sentiment is the same as the other brother.. you can't choose who they love (or like).

    Families don't always like significant others. That's a fact of life. You don't have to like them to be respectful of their relationship. I don't see why they can't sit at the table with their respective SO's. Put yourself in their place, if little borther was getting married and didn't like you, would you feel slighted by your FI and you being seated at a non-family table? I think so..
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If someone is in a serious relationship, you have to invite their s/o.  It doesn't matter whether you think it is serious, the important thing is that they consider it serious.  Based on what you've said, yes, you'd have to invite these girls.

    The reason your MIL wants these people at the head table is because it is rude to separate guests from their dates in the seating arrangments.  If you don't want to sit at a head table with all of them, do a sweetheart table.  Or do a head table with only MOH/BM and their dates or parents or someone else. 
  • You have to invite them regardless of whether you like them or not.  As for the one brother that has a new girlfriend every few months if they aren't serious they'll be broken up by the time you wedding comes around anyway, so no worries there.  As for the other brother, if they are in a serious relationship she gets an invite.  They are a social unit and get invited together.

    As for where they are sitting, ditto to other PPs.  It is rude to separate dates and I don't blame your MIL for insisting they sit with their signficant others.

    In order to keep the peace in the family why not just include them?  Or, sit at a sweetheart table and the whole seating issue disappears totally.

    I see absolutely no reason why you should be so rude to these people.  What if they marry your FI's brothers?  They will be your SIL's and you would've made a huge mistake by being a jerk to them early; a mistake that will undoubtedly make your relationships with his family very difficult.

  • If you are going with a traditional head table, tradition is that the dates of the WP sit together at a seperate table.  For your situation it sound like a sweetheart table would be easiest.
  • Members of the WP get "plus 1s", doesn't really matter what their dating/marital status is, they have the right to bring somebody and no, you don't get to dictate who that is.

    And seperating people from their dates is rude. Would you honestly ask your grandmother to sit at a different table than your grandfather? No, because she's "important" to you and separating them is rude. Well, members of your BP are "important", too, so why should you "honor" them by not letting them sit with their dates?

    If having their SOs at a head table bothers you so much, then do a sweetheart table, and then let the guys sit with the family and their dates at their own table. FMIL can only "make" you have a head table if she's the one footing the bill.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_not-inviting-groomsmenbrothers-girlfriends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:6f2170ec-cb3c-4f00-81cc-76e11bb49d29Post:0cba334b-1b23-4e2b-81df-0da5265262d7">Re: Not Inviting Groomsmen/Brothers Girlfriends</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well for the long term relationship, you have to invite the girl even if you don't like her.  People in long term relationships should always be allowed to bring their significant others - they are a social unit.  I would even say you should let the other brother bring a guest too because he is in the wedding party.  Odds are, if you don't let them bring their guests, they're going to be very irritated. Instead of having them sit at the head table with you, why don't you and your DH have a sweetheart table, and then you can seat all of your WP with their guests at regular tables.
    Posted by pandasquishy[/QUOTE]

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  • ::facepalm::

    You must invite them regardless of their relationship with the family and how much your FMIL love drama.

    Just because sweetheart tables are uncommon in your area doesn't mean they are impossible to have.  Really, they are "unheard" of?  That's a tad dramatic and you are just using it as an excuse to be rude.

    Lastly, it is horrifyingly rude to not include all guests in the entire reception.

    Please stop treating your FI's family like this.  You are going to be related to these people for as long as your marriage lasts and your behavior and willingness to exclude these women (who may end up your SIL's one day) is only going to sour your relationship with his family.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The answer is not to be rude to them. 

    Sit at a head table with your parents, and put the siblings with their dates and other people they know.

    You can't not invite them.  You just don't seem to get that.  It isn't an option.  You can't exclude people from the dinner.  That's so far beyond rude, it's just nasty.
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