No bouquet for the bride?

ShadowAP

Why is this such a big deal?

I do not want a bouquet.  I don't like fresh flowers (why kill a flower just so I can hold it for an hour), and I do not want the awkwardness of the bouquet hand off (which is always awkward), and I think the bouquet toss is tacky.

Kudos to the millions of people who DO have bouquets, but come on - our wedding is non-traditional in just about every respect, and my mother and my MIL do not have a problem with anything else except this one thing.

What's the big deal with the bouquet?  I researched the symbolism behind this tradition - and there isn't any.  Not the tiniest bit.  It's a holdover from when people did not bathe regularly - the bride held fresh flowers so that the fragrance would cover up her unwashedness.  Since I plan to take a shower on or near my wedding date, this seems like less of an issue.

Do I need to just suck it up and carry one anyway?

alewpanda

Are you opposed to carrying absolutely anything?  Perhaps you could appease your MIL by carrying something similiar to a family heirloom (a Bible, a picture, necklace, locket, rosary, ect.)  It wouldn't have to be big, but if its something that is able to be displayed you could put it down on a table or display on stage and have your hands free for the rest of the time

mehgank

The bouquet handoff isn't that awkward, actually. IMO, what's more awkward is the MOH having to fluff and re-fluff your train throughout the ceremony as you move around.

I'm not having fresh flowers, because the ones I want aren't in season at the time of my wedding , so I'm ordering mine through Etsy seller DK Designs. She hand-makes flowers out of this lightweight craft clay. They look so real, it's hard to discern between them and real flowers.

If you're concerned about people having a problem with you carrying nothing, you could carry a pomander instead. They're beautiful, and you can make them yourself, so you can control how long or short the ribbon that you carry it with turns out to be, so it won't get in the way and you won't have to hand it off. It'll be almost like a little purse.

bbyckes

Don't carry a bouquet if you don't want to.  I love hearing about the origin of a lot of these traditions!  Thanks for the enlightenment!

ShadowAP

Thanks y'all who have replied so far.  I was just frustrated this morning that no one is bothered by all of our other non-traditional things, but no bouquet = horrible travesty.  The bridesmaids are all having silk flower bouquets, and we're having fresh (potted) flowers to decorate the sanctuary at the church and some key places in the reception hall, so I'm not 100% anti-flower.  *shrug*

I won't be wearing a veil either.  Oh noes!  Haha.

MairePoppy

No, you don't have to carry flowers if you don't want them. IIt's your wedding and should reflect your style. It will be interesting to see if anyone even notices.
Are you still getting corsages for the moms? I saw some beautiful corsages made from buttons and felt flowers on etsy. I think they also had small bouquets.

kissamary

I really do not like flowers either, but I wouldn't know what to do with my hands when I am walking down the aisle!  I figure I will only be holding it for 2 minutes total, then we are recycling into the reception flowers.

jenn.daniel

I wouldn't do flowers at all if it weren't for my grandma.  I'm planning on very tiny bouqets to make her happy.  And of course grandma gets a corsage.

trix1223

I didn't carry a bouquet.  I carried a small white Bible with an orchid tied on to it.  My mom had carried a Bible when she married my dad, and I thought it was a nice thing to do.

You can consider that, a book of poetry, a clutch purse, or nothing at all.

hsunij

you definitely dont need flowers!!! There are so many othe options besides flowers. If you are interested in holding something else, I saw on the style me pretty blog the idea of a button bouqet and I dont remember where I saw this, but it was a bouqet of brooches! They were both so unqiue!!!

[Deleted User]

I agree, you don't have to carry them if you don't want. Or you can always make your own bouquet out of fake flowers. Many of the craft stores have how-to sessions or I am sure you can get info online as well.

MsLaura31

First of all, I totally agree that if you really don't want a bouquet then you don't have to have one. It's your wedding, and if you feel strongly about it, then don't carry one.

However, you said yourself that nothing in your wedding is traditional and that your family members have been supportive (which is AWESOME and you're super lucky, btw!) If this is the one thing they request, I honestly might just do it....

I feel like it's a pick your battles situation. And while your mom might treasure a portrait of you with your beautiful bouquet for years to come, I highly doubt you'll ever remember the awkward handoff to the MOH...

MsBunny312

I'm most likely not carrying a bouquet and if I don't, won't carry anything in it's place. I'll have my parents on each of my arms to walk me down the aisle and I just don't get the point of them either. Do what you want!

heather_shadow

My bridesmaids carried purses as opposed to flowers (because I love purses). I carried a handmade bouquet from flowers I found at Kroger (it was small as well). We didn't have any other fresh flowers at the wedding. Just a few ferns.

aerinpegadrak

We didn't have any fresh flowers (well, we picked up a grocery store bouquet that got massacred for petals, and the extras got put on the cake stand).  I made flowers out of paper for my bouquet, the bridesmaid bouquets, the moms' corsages, and the bouquets for the grandmothers (which they got later since they couldn't attend.)  We didn't do a bouquet toss, and I held the bouquet for most of the ceremony.

You can carry whatever you want down the aisle.  If you're comfortable with nothing, carry nothing.  If you might prefer to have something to do with your hands, or if it would keep the peace to carry something, you can come up with another option.  I got some good inspiration here: http://offbeatbride.com/2009/03/wedding-bouquets

joelie

don't like flowers either, specially the bees that they attract >.<

if you don't like flowers you shouldn't have to carry them. since i'm walking alone down the aisle (omg heressy!), i'll be carrying our dog -she's small so it won't be such a big deal. so if guys you have a maneagable pet together, i think it's a good way to include it in the ceremony.