Cookie Trays!

notthesame

I currently live and plan to live in Pittsburgh with my fiance as we progress forward.  He is dead-set that there will be a cookie tray at the wedding reception.  I find cookies at a wedding just sitting out to be tacky, as I wasn't raised with this local tradition.  My whole family will feel exactly the same about it, and I will hear about it for years and years to come.  The only weddings where cookies are acceptable sitting out on trays are 50%-100% Italian weddings, and they have traditional Italian cookies.  Neither me not my fiance are Italian, so my family will comment on it repeatedly.
I have compromised by asking that we do fancier cookies scattered amongst a dessert table that has chocolates, cream puffs, etc.  That way he can still have cookies but my family won't find issue with it.
Am I completely off-kilter here with my compromise and can someone please explain why people in Pittsburgh seem so adamant about some stupid, boring cookies at a wedding?

danieliza1127

I think your compromise sounds great.

I also think your family is really weird if they would judge cookies and think they're tacky.  That's weird. They're cookies.  How can cookies be tacky?  If they are displayed beautifully on nice trays, what's the problem?

dustbunnie

I also live in Pittsburgh and am getting married next month - and yes, the cookie trays are a huge tradition in this town, whether or not you're Italian.  Frankly I think they're overkill if you're already offering a ton of food and cake and I don't care about them one way or the other, but it is something guests enjoy, and my fiance is also very fond of the idea.  

Nevertheless - yes, if you throw a bunch of cookies on a plastic tray it'll look tacky.  But at all the weddings I've been to in Pittsburgh, the bride and groom had the cookies arranged beautifully on silver tiered platters on top of decorated tables, sometimes with other desserts.  A lot of the cookies were also baked by professional caterers or bakers, so they were anything but tacky or stupid... They were more or less absolutely delicious and gone by the end of the night.  

My advice - unless you and you fiance are paying for the wedding yourselves and you don't have the money to buy the cookies, just compromise and find a professional baker to provide your cookies and place them on a beautifully decorated table at your reception. Your fiance and his family will very much appreciate you embracing their traditions, and your family won't think it's hideous or tacky. 

angela72023

Have you thought of a cookie bar where you have jars of different cookies on a separate table? You put the name of the cookie on each jar and whose recipe it is (use family favorites and recipe's) and then you have the recipe's listed on your wedding website, or I've even seen some weddings where there are bags with room for the recipe cards and room for a cookie or two as the favor. This makes it more personalized and more of a family tradition. Just MHO...

jeanna85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_cookie-trays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:71641a72-1839-426e-82a5-07ceb9785b47Post:820ee19e-3af7-450b-834d-f3e5b61bd582">Cookie Trays!</a>:
[QUOTE] My whole family will feel exactly the same about it, and I will hear about it for years and years to come.  The only weddings where cookies are acceptable sitting out on trays are 50%-100% Italian weddings, and they have traditional Italian cookies.  Neither me not my fiance are Italian, so my family will comment on it repeatedly.
Posted by notthesame[/QUOTE]

I'm glad you reached a compromise that seems reasonable, but your comments seem a little exaggerated. if your family talks about cookies for years to come (unless it was oreos and chips ahoy or something) they must really have no lives.

loveslug

Cookies do not have to mean tan oatmeal cookies and tan chocolate chip cookies and tan peanut butter cookies...there are a ton of pretty, colorful, and interesting (and delicious) cookies out there to choose from!   In addition to the traditional wedding cake and a vegan cake, we had 20+ kinds of cookies (almost all homemade) for a total of about 1200 cookies, in all different shapes, sizes, and especially colors, and it was really very pretty when they were all laid out on the trays.  We are all in the northwest (Washington/Oregon/Idaho) and so this is not a common practice, but the girl loves cookies, so cookies were a part of the deal!  It was one of the most commented parts of the whole event...people loved it, and many guests actually got quite excited when they saw the cookies ("Cookies!  Oh my gosh-I love cookies" was a common comment), and everyone visited the table over and over again throughout the entire evening.  We provided bags so people could take some home when they left (and many did).   I am sure we will be hearing about it for years to come-but in a good way-in fact, yesterday I ran into one of tour friends who had attended the wedding, and one of the the first things out of his mouth was-"I loved the cookies!  They were awesome!"

The dessert table is a great compromise and a good way to meet both of your wishes, but don't fear the cookie-a cookie table doesn't have to be a basket full of snickerdoodles!

Pirata13

Um yeah, what do you think we all do here in Pittsburgh--buy a couple of bags of Keebler cookies and put them on paper plates?!  The cookie table is often created by the family.  One of my aunts and one of FI's aunts has already offered to bake the cookie that is their most "asked for" recipe. My mom is baking cookies. FI & I may be baking some. Anything additional will be ordered from a local bakery and won't be just chocolate chip. 

Very strange that your family would find it "tacky" and talk about it for years to come. Really? 

Here is something that might help explain to those of your family & friends not familiar with "The Cookie Table". Even though most at our wedding know about it, I'm still going to print, frame and display this for anyone who may be interested:

Cookie Table

 

You can have a designer wedding gown and tuxedo or hand-me-downs. You can have an “A-list” guest list or just the closest of kin. You can receive your guests at the fanciest restaurant or at a potluck at the firehall. But you aren’t truly a Pittsburgher unless you have The Cookie Table.


When we first moved here and a bride-to-be mentioned The Cookie Table, I was puzzled. “What do you need cookies for?” I asked. “At a wedding, you eat cake.” Little did I know.


The Cookie Table is as much a part of Pittsburgh as the Pirates and the Steelers and the Penguins. We may bleed black and gold, but at any event worth writing home about, we have cookies.


And most of these cookies are homemade by the mother of the bride, sisters, aunts, cousins and grandmothers. Sometimes both sides of the extended family get involved. Friends are also called into the fray. Happy to do it, in fact. The Cookie Table is, indeed, the gift of love.


Nobody knows the exact origin of the tradition, which has been exported to other parts of Pennsylvania, other states, too. It may be Italian or Slovak or Polish or Croatian or Greek. The Scandinavians may get involved, and the Indians, too. The Germans do cookies, and so do the Irish. If we’ve left anybody out (like the English), add them to the cookie equation. There may be no greater tribute to cross-cultural friends and marriages than The Cookie Table. It’s what makes America great; a medley of cultures taking the best from each. The best being favorite family cookie recipes.


Remember, in Pittsburgh, people don’t wonder, “How was the wedding?” They ask, “Were the cookies good?”

notthesame

Thank you for your comments ladies.  I appreciate them.
Unfortunately my fiance does want cookies like chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, oreos, etc. 
Which do seem quite boring to me and my family of professional pastry chefs.
I should also mention that our centerpieces are cakes made by my very talented family so I feel over-desserted as it is.
But we will have a happy resolution to this.
Thanks again!

Pirata13

Oh there's no way in hell I'd be putting oreos and stuff on there.  Now THAT I can understand. Every wedding I've been to (and they've all had cookie tables) have had glorious cookies--the fancier ones you mentioned.  I'd show him The Cookie Table explanation I posted and say "Aunt Mary doesn't make Oreos."  Definitely stick to your desire for fancier cookies. And tell your FI he is an abomination of all things Cookie Table by wanting Oreos and other non-homemade items on there LOL.

amy727

You posted almost the same exact thing on the Pittsburgh Board which is insulting.  Being from Pittsburgh it is a tradition that every wedding I have been to has.  I don't see how having cookies at your wedding is tacky.  People have candy tables and other desserts,how is having cookies any different.


For those of you not familar the below link explains the tradition a little more:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/dining/16cookies.html

imjilly

We're having cookie trays too.  I'd never heard of this tradition until I went to my future sis-in-law's wedding.  Apparently, it's a not too uncommon tradition in the N.E. Ohio area too.  I'm putting a limit on the number of cookies though- my MIL made/requested 5-6 dozen of at least 15 (maybe more?) types of cookies for SIL's wedding last May (they also had wedding cake)!! All the cookies were finally eaten by christmas. 

jlmarks83

The Cookie Table was the one thing my FI insisted on (which we were going to have anyway).  My mom, her friends, and FI's family are all making cookies.  We'll have well over 100 dozen cookies.  And some 30+ types of cookies.  My mom's friend is a former caterer and she'll be setting up the cookie table.  It's not just a bunch of trays on a table.  It's tiered with cookies covering the entire table - whether on a tray or not.  We're having homemade ladilocks - cream puffs - choc chip - thumbprints - nut roll, etc.  Also, we'll have boxes for people to take cookies home with them.  We'll also have pictures from when we got engaged scattered throughout our cookie table.  (FSILs were there when FI proposed and got the whole thing on camera!)  It's waaaaay more than Chips Ahoy sitting in the bag on some random table.

I find it offensive that you would call it tacky.