Since I was in high school, I have known that if I got married, I would not be changing my name. I just didn't see why my name -- which is distinctive and unique -- was something I'd have to give up to be married. (And no, I've never been into the idea of hyphenating, either.)
Obviously, I've been of this opinion a long time, and am now about to get married to a guy who has always been cool with my decision. (I'm also a journalist, and I don't want to change my byline.)
Two questions:
1) How do I tell people I am not changing my name without sounding like a crazy harpy? I know that lots of engaged women get really excited about taking his last name, and that people will think I am too, writing us cards, etc. to Mr. and Mrs. Him and Me Hislastname. Plus, most people don't ask women if they are taking their husband-to-be's name. They just assume they are.
I'd like to gently let people know that my name won't change because it's important to me. My fiance and I are both news reporters, so a lot of what we're doing is news-themed. We ordered invitations that look like they were done with a typewriter, and we're writing a totally cheesy press release "announcing" our wedding to enclose with them instead of a preprinted invitation-matching card with information about the reception and hotels. Is there a way that I could work it into the press release that I will keep my name?
(I haven't been forcefully telling people I'm not changing my name, by the way. My mother, on the other hand....)
2) If we get checks or anything other financial instrument written out to "Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname," or a well-heeled family friend of my parents just writing it out to "Mrs. Myname Hislastname," can they be cashed if I am not taking his name? When we opened our joint account, I asked the bank, and the person we spoke to was not sure. I am just curious -- I would rather not have to track down people after the wedding and say, "Thanks for the check. However, could you rewrite it to me with my maiden name?"