I just recently got engaged (about a month ago) and my fiance and I were really excited about getting married very soon.
January 1, 2011 would be the perfect date for many reasons-
1) We first met & hung out on New Years Eve. and it was love at first "connection" for us both.(even though we were old middle school mates and had recently reconnected and chatting online a few months prior)
2) I am moving to North Carolina with him also around that time. And it would be a nice transition to move together as a married couple
3) We would be starting the new year as a married couple. Therefore, our Anniversary would be much more meaningful every year as we celebrate not only a "New Year" but also another year of our love.
ALRIGHT. now that it's all laid out.
We don't want a traditional big wedding. We narrowed our guest list to only 40 people- to include immediate family. (his is larger due to divorced parents) and best friends. So we figured great it will be small, cute, non-traditional, outdoor wedding. We even had his mom's friends say she could lend us her beautiful huge lavishly landscaped house for free.
ONLY PROBLEM- my sister wouldn't be able to make it with her two kids and husband. Tickets are very expensive for her to fly in for that date- especially since its a holiday. She would have to fly in alone and leave the kids and hubby.
At first she made it seem like no problem. But after several conversations she and my mother kept pressuring me to change the date- so that they could all make it- and I finally caved. AFTER WE HAD ALREADY SENT SAVE THE DATES.
I understand that the plans were rushed and that she is tight on cash so soon but I was also really upset that she was making give up my special date.
Of course my fiance is also really upset, but understanding that I can't say "no" and I need my sister to be there. BUT he brought up an alternative that might work. We could do a courtroom elope on our "special day" and hold a sort of "mock Wedding" a couple months after when my sister would be able to make it. I really like the idea but I am not sure how to go about it-
should I tell my mom and sis about wanting to elope first privately (since
it would just be me and him in a court- nothing special) and risk hurting their feelings- that it wont be "the real thing" later?
should I keep it a secret??? and if I keep it a secret...then should we announce after the fact that we have eloped and hope that my family doesn't disown me? or should we just never tell anyone?
I'm so torn