Customs and Traditions

Will I regret having to small of a wedding?

My fiance and I have decided we want a small wedding. Well, now we are discussing have an extremely small wedding and getting married someplace far away. Probably our honeymood destination. This saves us so much stress and money and planning time it really is the better option for us.  We are thinking to include 4 other guest which are our sisters and their significants. But will I regret not having that big wedding and all those little sentimental moments with our wedding party? and we would still like to have a large fun reception/celebration when we get home or before we go. Not sure when but any suggestions on that as well?

Re: Will I regret having to small of a wedding?

  • I would sit down with FI and make a pro/con list of a small wedding vs a big wedding. Bottom line, you two need to do what makes the most sense and makes yall the happiest.
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  • I agree with PP. I think only the two of you will know if you think you'll regret it or not. And I think a pro/con list would definitely help you realize if you'll love a small DW or regret it & wish you had a bigger wedding.
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  • We did a 12 person wedding: parents and siblings only.

    I have absolutely zero regrets.
  • A friend of mine did this.  He and his wife got married on a beach with close friends and family (about 20 people).  They got to spend the week with their guest rather than just the day.  So that was a plus.  They were much more relaxed because the resort handled everything..they showed up and got married and celebrated.

    With my family, there are way too many people who wouldn't be able to come because of the expence.  If you have really important people to you that you know wouldn't be able to come, then that's not good.

    My friend and his wife did hold a small reception when they got back and showed photos of the wedding.  I am not sure if that would feel like it was being rubbed in or not.
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  • Like PP said, only you two can decide. But the fact that you have reservations and were compelled to write this on a public internet forum draws a concern. Clearly this is something that you are worried about. Discuss it with your fiance and see if a small destination wedding is truly what you want. If not, then postpone so you can save up for the type of wedding that you truly want.
  • I personally couldn't do that. I have a huge family and want them all to be a part of our day. But that's ME and MY situation. That might not be necessarily you and yours. Have you been dreaming of a big wedding all your life? If you have then I would really think hard about the decision you're making. Like PP said, make a pros and cons list with your FI and go from there.
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  • edited March 2012
    Im newly engaged (two weeks) and my fiance and I had this same discussion. I wanted to just run off (with a few friends and maybe both our sisters) to the beach and get married with no fuss, but it turns out he wants to have a more traditional wedding with close friends and family AND groomsmen. So.. now we have sat down and talked about what is important to us and he said he thought we would really regret not having our families there. We each made a list of closest family and friends and it turned out to be about 100 guests total, which isnt considered a big wedding at all here in the south. So I agree with the above response that you should just sit down and talk about what you want and expect from your wedding and how many people you want to include.. and how many of those you truly think would come.. and go from there. It is different for everyone but remember its your day, ultimately, so do what is best for you.
  • Make a list of everyone you would invite if you could invite everyone you would like there in a dream world (our orginal list was 300 people). Then look at your list and decide if theres anyone you would reallly be heartbroken if they couldnt come, count up these people, and I think thats a good way to figure out how small a wedding you could have without having any regrets. Orginally I wanted under like...50 people, but there were more people on the list of "We would be devestated if they were not at least invited", so we cut everyone we possibly could and with just family and a few friends we are at 130 on our guest list.

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  • I think only you can answer that question for yourself.  Big weddings aren't for everyone, just like small weddings aren't for everyone.

    With just over 2 months to go, I can say that if you truly don't want a large wedding - it is a LOT of work to do for something you either don't care about or don't have your heart into.  I will say that I am very Type A organized personality, always the "planner" among my friends, have always wanted a big "traditional" wedding....and I am so over it/burned out right now.  

    I can't imagine how unpleasant it must be for brides who are planning the big traditional wedding who really didn't want one in the first place.
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  • i think a pro/con list is the best way to go on this one...only you can know what is best for you!!! Congrats and Good Luck
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  • I agree with PP.  Make a guest list and decide if there's anyone you would be really upset about if they couldn't come.

    My FI and I had to do this, but mostly because he swore we wouldn't have more than 30 people.  Once he saw the people I had on my list, he realized there's no way we're only have 30 people.  (Needless to say, we have about 110 people on our guest list at the moment)  This is MY situation, I have a large family and would be heartbroken if most of them weren't invited to my wedding.  You need to do what's best in YOUR situation.

    Good luck!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-i-regret-having-to-small-of-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7800616d-730f-4808-acee-6a3e26fccb38Post:a1411528-91c4-437d-9ee6-12140f913043">Will I regret having to small of a wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I have decided we want a small wedding. Well, now we are discussing have an extremely small wedding and getting married someplace far away. Probably our honeymood destination. This saves us so much stress and money and planning time it really is the better option for us.  We are thinking to include 4 other guest which are our sisters and their significants. But will I regret not having that big wedding and all those little sentimental moments with our wedding party? and we would still like to have a large fun reception/celebration when we get home or before we go. Not sure when but any suggestions on that as well?
    Posted by CaseyM1[/QUOTE]

    If that is all that you can afford for now, I would say its okay because there are vow renewals and you can make a bigger wedding next time.
  • We're dealing with the same thing. But we both decided that the one person we truly want to be there is each other. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.
  • Since you took the time to post this, I think it may bother you in the long-run.  However, maybe you could compromise.  Maybe you could have your intimate destination wedding ceremony, and then a week or two later have a larger reception and invite people to come celebrate with you.
    But, like others have said, it's ultimately up to you and your fiance.
  • edited March 2012
    We were originally going to have a small destination wedding with close family and friends, but we decided against it because the people that we wanted there the most wouldn't be able to make it.  So we are having the big wedding here at home.  We have no regrets because everyone that we really care about will be there to share our day with us.

    Talk to you FI and decide what is really important to you.  I suggest the pro/con list.
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  • I am having a small 14-guest wedding.  And let me tell you, I would be fine going even smaller than that - even elope.  The whole planning process brings out both the best and the worst in people, and it never ceases to amaze me how such a small wedding can be such a challenge. 

    Make sure whatever you do, you stay true to yourself and FI.  If the thought of a larger wedding makes you cringe, then it's probably not the right choice, nor worth the stress and added expense.
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  • FH and I are having a sort of small wedding. Roughly 40 people (mostly my family) I considered the fact that we may regret not inviting more people later, but I think at the end of the day all that matters is that you two are standing at that alter together celebrating your love for each other. Plus you could always have a larger vow renewal ceremony on a milestone anniversary or something.

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