Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Head Table

I know typically the bridal party sits at the head table however what about their dates!  I would feel awful making their dates eat alone at a table together and making our bridal party not eat with their dates but with us.  I dont like the idea of a sweetheart table though.  It would make us feel isolated and alone during the meal.  To us a meal is meant to be a time to socialize with our loved ones.  What should one do?  Would it be appropriate to put dates with us at the head table or just make them eat without their dates or suck it up and sit at a sweetheart table?

Re: Head Table

  • I would include their dates at the head table. You don't have to, but I think it would be nice to include them.
  • We're doing a U-shaped head table so our BP's dates can sit with them and we can sit with our BP. Never ever sit dates alone. That's just rude and uncomfortable. 

    I've also seen the head table be family only and the BP can sit with their dates at another table. I also don't like the sweetheart table thing. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_head-table-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7d04335e-90e9-4560-bd57-bae1f2d31184Post:54c76e17-3070-4f37-a005-084907e255b4">Head Table</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know typically the bridal party sits at the head table however what about their dates!  I would feel awful making their dates eat alone at a table together and making our bridal party not eat with their dates but with us.  I dont like the idea of a sweetheart table though.  It would make us feel isolated and alone during the meal.  To us a meal is meant to be a time to socialize with our loved ones.  What should one do?  Would it be appropriate to put dates with us at the head table or just make them eat without their dates or suck it up and sit at a sweetheart table?
    Posted by Micqs[/QUOTE]

    If you don't want a sweetheart table, you have three basic options:

    1.  Have a head table.  Seat bridal party with their significant others up there.  If it's too many people, have only some of the bridal party, like just the Maid of honor and best man.    Seat the rest at other tables.  I will say that if you want to "socialize", head tables are not the best for this.  You can only really talk to one person at a time because of how you're sitting.  Kinda awkward.

    2.  Have a King's/Captain's table.  This is a long table where people sit on both sides (like a normal dinner table).  It's better for being able to talk and can fit more people.  See below.


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    3.  Have everyone at round tables.  You can sit with just best man and maid of honor (and their dates), or just your parents, or whatever other people.  Round tables are best for socializing.

    Or, of course, you can have a sweetheart table.  You'll only be sitting there for like 30 minutes anyways because after that you'll be socializing at other tables.  Some couples say they liked having 30 minutes (or less) to just eat with their new husband/wife.

    No matter what option you choose... do not... DO NOT... separate guests from their significant others!

    Hope that helped!

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  • You need to seat your BP's guests with them.  There are several ways you can do this, however.



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_head-table-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7d04335e-90e9-4560-bd57-bae1f2d31184Post:54c76e17-3070-4f37-a005-084907e255b4">Head Table</a>:
    [QUOTE]  I dont like the idea of a sweetheart table though.  It would make us feel isolated and alone during the meal.  To us a meal is meant to be a time to socialize with our loved ones.  
    Posted by Micqs[/QUOTE]

    <div>You might think that now, but honestly, we loved the 5 minutes we actually got to be alone and take a breath.at our sweetheart table for dinner. </div><div>
    </div><div>Make sure your WP's SOs are with them wherever you decide to have them sit. </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I really liked having a sweetheart table, because we were socializing with other people for the rest of the time! It was nice eating dinner together, and then we went around to visit people at their tables while they were still finishing up.
  • We had a round table just like all our other guests, and we sat with our bridal party and their dates.

  • We had a sweetheart table, and it was placed around the other tables, so we were in the midst of our guests. Most of the time I see a sweetheart table separated from everyone, on a pedestal so to speak, but I liked "sitting with our guests." We were only there for a few minutes anyway, before we got up to socialize.

    If your WP + SOs are too many people to fit at a table, I would recommend sitting with a few VIPs (such as MOH, BM, parents, grandparents, however many people fill up that table) and then sit the rest of your WP with people they know.
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  • You don't have to have a sweetheart table, but given how important it is to many people to be seated with their partners, I'd say that whatever you do, seat your wedding party members with their partners.
  • I have never been to a wedding with a head table for BP. Every wedding i was at the BP just sat (with their dates) with people that they know. Some of my BM's don't know the other BM's. I'd rather sit them with other people that they actually know.
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  • We are either sitting a a sweetheart table or with our guests. Everyone will be seated with their guests. Ours is a small wedding though, I don't know if that makes a difference.
  • With significant others and their children, our head table would be like 30+ people.  Since my fiance and I don't want a sweetheart table, we are just skipping the head table and will have all round tables the same size. 
  • I was looking forward to a sweetheart table before FI let me know he had his heart set on a head table. We compromised on a King's table. He has all his friends sitting with us and the entire WP will have their +1's/significant others right next to them.
  • For a buffet or cocktail, I think a sweetheart table is the best way to go.  You truly will sit for all of 10 minutes to eat while the rest of your guests are getting their food, and then you'll want to go socialize.  We went this route, and were glad we weren't sitting with anyone else, because we stayed at our table for only about 5 minutes.  We ended up doing table visits while the rest of our guests ate.  I would have felt bad going off and leaving our WP or family.  

    With a plated meal, you're going to be at the table for a bit longer, so sitting with some or all of your WP or family makes more sense, but a sweetheart table is also still an option.  We were in a wedding last year where the B&G sat with the BMs and our dates, while the groom's attendants sat with their dates at the next table.  The couple stayed with us through the whole meal, because they were being served as well.
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