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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
EStar73
member
Breaking The Glass
So my FI mentioned to me the other night that he wanted to break a glass at the end of our ceremony. He says that he likes the symbolism of it. I would be okay with this except for the fact that neither one of us is Jewish, and no one in our families is Jewish. Everyone is Lutheran and I think that it would be a bit awkward. I was wondering what everyone else thought. Is it weird for us to borrow a tradition like that or not?
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Re: Breaking The Glass
[QUOTE]He is unsure of his religion and lately has been looking into judaism. A good friend of his is jewish and just got married and during the ceremony they explained that <strong>breaking the glass was a reminder that not all things in life are perfect and that marriages like glass can be easily broken if not cared for</strong>. He really liked this and combined with his growing interest in converting he decided that this was something he wanted. However we are not jewish, at least not yet, so I feel weird about using the tradition.
Posted by EStar73[/QUOTE]
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</div><div>this is only one explanation. the truth is, as i stated before, that no one knows WHY they break a glass in jewish ceremonies. there is no consensus, no clear understanding. the most commonly accepted reason is as a reminder of the temples being destroyed in Jerusalem. </div><div>
</div><div>this tradition is only a tradition, and has no clear symbolism. so yea it's pretty strange, and honestly a little disrespectful, that you would want to use the tradition when you are not jewish and it has no meaning to you. </div><div>
</div><div>do a little research into the tradition before you "think" you know what it means.......</div>
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Be Mine Blog
[QUOTE]Psichick if you were reading the post you would see that he got that meaning from a jewish wedding. The rabbi described it as standing for the delicacy of marriage so I wouldn't say that he came up with the idea all on his own. Also I would like to say that while I do agree with you all that using the tradition might be a bit awkward I do have to defend my fiance and say that "disrespectful" might be a bit strong. He truly does love the jewish religion and proposed the idea because two jewish friends of his told him that they thought it would be fine. However I do appreciate all of your input and am glad that I have more opinions that I can use as I continue to discuss this with my FI.
Posted by EStar73[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.jewish-history.com/minhag.htm#glass">http://www.jewish-history.com/minhag.htm#glass</a></div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.jewish-history.com/minhag.htm#glass"></a><a href="http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Weddings/Liturgy_Ritual_and_Custom/Nissuin.shtml">http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Weddings/Liturgy_Ritual_and_Custom/Nissuin.shtml</a></div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Weddings/Liturgy_Ritual_and_Custom/Nissuin.shtml"></a><a href="http://www.somethingjewish.co.uk/articles/81_jewish_wedding_guide.htm">http://www.somethingjewish.co.uk/articles/81_jewish_wedding_guide.htm</a></div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.somethingjewish.co.uk/articles/81_jewish_wedding_guide.htm"></a><a href="http://www.bnaimitzvahguide.com/jewish.weddings.traditions.php#The Glass">http://www.bnaimitzvahguide.com/jewish.weddings.traditions.php#The Glass</a></div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.bnaimitzvahguide.com/jewish.weddings.traditions.php#The Glass"></a>read. there is more than one reason for the breaking of the glass, and no clear consensus as to the tradition. </div><div>
</div><div>and yes, it is disrespectful to take a tradition from another religion and use it just because you like it when it has no meaning to you. </div><div>
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Thanks to the media, breaking the glass = Jewish wedding, usually a very traditional one. Seriously, when you see a Jewish wedding on TV or in the movies, that's usually the only part they show, so the two are very strongly associated. If your FI is really serious about wanting to include some Jewish tradition in the ceremony, there are plenty of other elements he could borrow that wouldn't carry nearly the same associations.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Where the heck do they think the term "tie the knot" came from?
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
The other thing that sort of drives me nuts is jumping the broom. I got attacked on this board a year of so ago by an African-American bride who was saying I had it all wrong, and how DARE I argue with her. Actually the exact quote was "are you arguing with me?" Uh, yeah, miss high and mighty, I'm not arguing because you're wrong. This ritual may have been adopted by your culture, but again, the tradition is Welsh (Celtic) and Pagan. My stars. And it's done in baptist churches! You'd think that people would research something before they tried to incorporate it into a ceremony.
There are incredible amounts of traditions from all over the world. Pick a tradition that is special to you and has significance and use it. Its your wedding and you can personalize it to however you wish.
So yes, I would be offended if the glass was broken at a non Jewish wedding, especially if you are only doing it because you think it's cool. These is serious meaning behind this tradition and for anyone to disrespect it, is just ignorant.
I have been researching having part of the handfasting ritual at my wedding because I feel that it is a way for my fiance to stay true to himself and find meaning in the ceremony. I don't think the religious aspects of the ceremony will have the same meaning for him as they do for me. Plus I really like the symbolism of the ritual. I personally think it is fine to borrow from different cultures as long as you research them thoroughly and treat them with the respect they deserve. Notice I said cultures and not religions which I view as two different things.
I have found several sites that say that handfasting was used both as engagement and as wedding ceremony due to lack of priests in the middle ages. This would allow them to be together as man and wife until a priest could formally bless their marriage. I have also found many pagan sites that list ways for the ritual to be incorporated into Christian weddings.
http://community.livejournal.com/weddingplans/13265941.html
From the research I have done so far, it seems that handfasting is a pre-Christian ceremony and was only recently adopted into the neo-pagan wedding ceremony. As far as I can tell it was not attached to any specific religion. I would also like to point out that many pagan believes have been adopted into Christianity (Christmas trees, Easter eggs/bunny, even wedding rings), I realize this was because the church was trying to convert pagans as painlessly as possible, but that doesn't change the fact that the traditions still stand today in many Christian homes.
This is the format we will prolly use.
http://www.foreverwed2.com/Religious_Ceremonies//handfasting.htm
As for the breaking of the glass at your wedding, I like the idea behind it. Or rather what you thought the idea behind it was. I think that maybe it would be a little weird to have it at your wedding but I don't think you should give up on it altogether. I think maybe you should find or make a new tradition for your ceremony that would have the same meaning that way you won't risk offending anyone and you can add the special meaning you want to your ceremony.
[QUOTE]Honestly, I think most of these posts are a bit selfish. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If a couple like a tradition and the meaning behind it, they should use it. As a Catholic, I would not be offended in the least if someone from another faith wanted to incorporate prayers to the Virgin Mary, for example, or bread and wine. <strong> I recently attended a non-denominational wedding that incorporated a Communion service</strong>. While I did not partake, I certainly was not offended. The important thing is to research the tradition to be sure you really understand what it means, and want to incorporate that meaning into your wedding.
Posted by LeahDVM2003[/QUOTE]
You do know that every Christian denomination, yes, even the "non denominational" ones have a communion component to their worship, and that's it's not a "Catholic" tradition, but a Christian one, right?
Just as examples: I work in a Presbyterian Church, and we have communion every month, and on several other important days in our liturgical calendar. My best friend, an organist in a Lutheran church has communion every Sunday.
So you can't compare having communion in a Christian church to having a tradition that is clearly NOT Christian: handfasting or breaking a glass in a Lutheran church. They are not even in the same ballpark as communion.