What to Do???

soontobmrsg83

I have been fighting with this situation since I've gotten engaged.  My father is deceased (lost him to cancer).  The only other male in my life is my older brother.  I have been struggling with if he should walk me down the aisle, or if I could walk down it myself.  My mom (who is very old fashioned) says that I should use him, granted he is already escorting my mother down the aisle.   I feel that a) it is tradition to have a father walk his daughter down the aisle to show that he is giving her away to his family; and b) my brother has a daughter so he will have a chance to do that when she grows up and gets married.  I have a creative idea to include my father in walking me down the aisle to honor him.  Any suggestions on what I should do?

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7f0db2e7-1dce-4231-8d15-57625cc4d7bfPost:6a9267bb-cd1b-42ca-9e9c-fea52ea62e3f">What to Do???</a>:
[QUOTE]  I have a creative idea to include my father in walking me down the aisle to honor him.  Posted by soontobmrsg83[/QUOTE]

<div>What's the idea?</div>

artbyallie

You know, it doesn't have to be a male. Your mom could walk you (if she wants to). Or you could walk alone. Or your groom could walk with you.

As for including your father, how about a locket with a picture tied to your bouquet?

MyNameIsNot

I wouldn't have a brother walk me unless he was much older or had an influence on raising me.  

In your situation, I would have asked my mom or walked myself.  

soontobmrsg83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7f0db2e7-1dce-4231-8d15-57625cc4d7bfPost:f4042a44-a0a1-4212-bffa-c7972711a441">Re: What to Do???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What to Do??? : What's the idea?
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

Have a picture of him in my bouquet somehow...

Lisa50

That this has become a struggle for you is a big red flag (fighting is not good).  Perhaps you should give yourself a chance to think about other options, many of which have been suggested above.  Until you come up with a scenario that doesn't make you feel conflicted, you may want to allow yourself the luxury to keep noodling over it.

I think a big part of this is being open to walking down the aisle in a non-traditional way.  FWIW, H and I walked in together, hand-in-hand.  It was exactly how we wanted to kick things off.

Good luck with your decision!

mrszeno34

I also lost my dad and will be walking down the aisle alone.  I chose a song to walk to that had a special meaning to my dad and I.  That is my way of having him "with me" for that moment.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Lark2013

I lost my father, as well, and will be having my brother walk me down the isle.  He may have a daughter of his own, but it is still an honor to give his sister away (and, let's face it, something they always wanted to do when they were younger, anyway 

TiffannieF

Options

-walk with your brother (it shouldn't matter if he has a daughter, and not to be rude, my mother passed away 3 years ago so I TOTALLY understand the pain, but your father also had a daughter that he wasn't able to walk down the aisle.  You can walk with your brother, if YOU want to).
-walk with your mother
-walk alone with the picture of your father (like you suggested).  I honestly think this would be the most beautiful and honoring.

GL!