Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

FI and FMIL don't get along, how to handle the dances?

Hey ladies, I've got a sticky situation.  My FI and FMIL don't get along at all.  He's pleasant to his mother, but doesn't feel she's an important part of his life.  On the other hand, I'd be lost without my parents.  I love them and appreciate all the sacrifices they've made. 
My mother and father will both be walking me down the aisle (and it's also a nod toward his Jewish heritage as well).  And I'm looking forward to the Father/Daughter Dance.  Meanwhile, my FI doesn't want anything to do with the Mother/Son Dance. 
We both feel that it will be somewhat awkward, and neither me nor my FI, despite the way he feels about his mom, want to cause FMIL any distress or insult her any way.  But I really want to have the Father/Daughter Dance just like my two older sisters did. 
I need some good logic, advice and help ladies.  Thanks in advance.
"It's easy to halve the potato where there's love." - Irish Proverb

Re: FI and FMIL don't get along, how to handle the dances?

  • If they can get along for a few minutes, do it. If not, just skip it. No one will think anything of it.
  • Thanks for the suggestion and much needed laugh christinelyn013.  LOL
    That's a good option and also the one from epicurate12 about having M/S dance begin part way through the F/D dance. 
    I can't wait to suggest them both to the FI! 

    Lilou902, it does definitely sounds like we are two peas in a pod.  Yeah his mom and aunts live in Pgh and his dad in CA.  Only, I also have to deal with the fact that my FMIL and the aunts aren't happy that I'm not having the wedding in Pittsburgh (I'm having it where I'm originally from - NEPA/Poconos).  I just sigh and try to come up with a way to make it work- especially when I get good ideas from all you ladies!  Thanks!
    I'll let you know what we decide to do.
    "It's easy to halve the potato where there's love." - Irish Proverb
  • like several others, i've been to MANY weddings that didn't have the mother-son dance. i think that's a fairly new thing. i like it, but don't think it's necessarily out of the ordinary to only have the father-daughter. i really don't think most people will even notice if you don't draw attention to it.

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