walking down the isle

mrsesmith10

Okay here is my delima,  My husband and I are getting remarried because we never had the money to have a nice wedding.  My father has a lung condition that keeps him form moving around alot and may not be able to attend.  Would it be weird for my husband and I to walk down together? Or would it be better just to solo it?  thanks em

theelusive1

I think you should walk down together since it is a renewal of vows. 

ootmother2

I have no problem with vow renewal or parties to celebrate a wedding that took place at a time when a party wasn't possible.  It's not a wedding, get it"

I am assuming that everyone knows that you're already married, right?  Okay so party!

On walking down the aisle, in my opinion, it would look better if you waked in together.  that takes the pressure off your dad's health problems.


GL & I hope your dad can make the party

HobokensFury

Since you are already married you can't get remarried.  Therefore having any traditional wedding elements (walking down the aisle, dress, bridal party, cake cutting) is a no no.

MrsGandthebeag

It's aisle, not isle.  

wrigleyville

rajahmd

Perfect response Wrigley. 

Julie2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-the-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:82c36de0-5915-4518-94a4-a7047fbce51bPost:2b6044a6-6a4c-4d62-b49f-238e2483c031">walking down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay here is my delima,  My husband and I are getting remarried because we never had the money to have a nice wedding.  My father has a lung condition that keeps him form moving around alot and may not be able to attend.  Would it be weird for my husband and I to walk down together? Or would it be better just to solo it?  thanks em
Posted by mrsesmith10[/QUOTE]

How long have you been married, mrsesmith? Do you have any children that could accompany you down the isle? I'm trying to decide between 3 options myself -- 1.) having my 18 yo son walk with me, 2.) going down alone, or 3.) my husband and I walking in from opposite sides of the room, meeting at the beginning of the isle, then walking down the isle together. It's important to me that my husband be surprised with what I look like, so I plan for him to not see me at all in my renewal attire beforehand. Since your father is unable to escort you down the isle, maybe you could use another option like ones dh and I are considering and have your father give you something sentimental to carry for the walk like a ring, charm picture for your bouquet, a handkerchief?

Btw, Knot Lili is researching the possibility of adding a Vow Renewal forum where we could chat about topics like this with others planning renewals. She's told me to encourage people to PM her opinions on if one is needed. I hope you will consider PMing her with a positive opinion! Every vote counts and I would love to chat with others planning renewals without having to do a Search first to find them! You can PM her by going to <div><a href="wlmailhtml:{3FA94D02-3D50-4F01-AB94-6DCE73BB83C7}mid://00000085/!x-usc:http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_intro-to-knot-lili" title="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_intro-to-knot-lili" rel="nofollow"><u><font color="#0066cc">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_intro-to-knot-lili</font></u></a> . At the bottom of her intro post is a spot to click to send her a PM. I hope you will consider doing it!

Either way, feel free to chat with me or PM me about renewal stuff. I love talking to others about their plans! :)

Julie
</div>

mrsesmith10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-the-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:82c36de0-5915-4518-94a4-a7047fbce51bPost:4e483afc-41fe-4dca-be29-37302537fc85">Re: walking down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to walking down the isle : How long have you been married, mrsesmith? Do you have any children that could accompany you down the isle? I'm trying to decide between 3 options myself -- 1.) having my 18 yo son walk with me, 2.) going down alone, or 3.) my husband and I walking in from opposite sides of the room, meeting at the beginning of the isle, then walking down the isle together. It's important to me that my husband be surprised with what I look like, so I plan for him to not see me at all in my renewal attire beforehand. Since your father is unable to escort you down the isle, maybe you could use another option like ones dh and I are considering and have your father give you something sentimental to carry for the walk like a ring, charm picture for your bouquet, a handkerchief? Btw, Knot Lili is researching the possibility of adding a Vow Renewal forum where we could chat about topics like this with others planning renewals. She's told me to encourage people to PM her opinions on if one is needed. I hope you will consider PMing her with a positive opinion! Every vote counts and I would love to chat with others planning renewals without having to do a Search first to find them! You can PM her by going to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_intro-to-knot-lili">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_intro-to-knot-lili</a>  . At the bottom of her intro post is a spot to click to send her a PM. I hope you will consider doing it! Either way, feel free to chat with me or PM me about renewal stuff. I love talking to others about their plans! :) Julie
Posted by Julie2013[/QUOTE]
Julie,
  THanks for being so nice.  I have gotten the most awful responses for other brides on here.  They have picked my repsonse to pieces trying to take away from my day.  Their ignorance is rude.  My husband and I are getting married again because my father became ill and could not be at my wedding and he was going through a huge custody battle with his ex-wife.  So we just decided to do a justice of the peace and wait to have our actual wedding..Some of these bride are horrible.  Now with your situation..I think you and your groom shluld walk down different sides of the room and meet in the middle. I think that would be wonderful...Good luck

mrsesmith10

I think it is sad that I have gotten very rude posts in reference to this question.  I have been told that because I am already married I CAN"T do anything traditional, I was corrected on my spelling, and I was told it was weird to renew my vows.  Well for those of you that feel that way I appreciate your honesty.  However before you judge others for wanting to have a special day you need to think before you speak.  My husband, YES HUSBAND'S daughter from his previous marriage was raped before we were to get married.  SO the money that was going towards our wedding went to court costs.  Plus my father got very ill and could not be there for me.  We wanted to marry in North Carolina with just my husband, his daughter and myself to cheer her up after everything she had gone through and have an actually wedding after things settled down.  So I am sorry if your wedding is textbook TRADITIONAL or not WEIRD, but as a bride to be you should be happy for anyone that is getting married no matter what the situation.This site is here to show support for one another not pass judgement  My day is just as special as yours.  I hope those of you that were rude to me, I hope your day is beautiful...

Peledreamsofrain

*hugs mrsesmith10*  You do what makes you and your husband happy.  I love the idea of you walking down together, as you are a unified force.

HobokensFury

Mrssmith. What your family went through is horrible but that does not give you a pass on etiquette. No one was rude to you, they were telling you that you can't get remarried if you are already married. That's a fact.

Julie2013

My fellow renewers, have you seen this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbjFMhD4FQ4&amp;feature=share . Oh, please do take a moment to watch it!!  It is currently my favorite VR video!!  And check out the wife's "shoes"!!

Mrsesmith, the husband in this video manages to carry his wife part of the way down the isle - there's another option to consider!  Not going to happen here, since I'm sure my DH's back would go out and the party would be OVER. LOL

Seriously, though, have you thought about having your father "attend" through the computer?  My great-aunt was unable to attend her great-granddaughter's wedding due to final stages of cancer.  The bride's family came to my aunt's home, set up a laptop for her, then set up another one at the venue.  She was able to see the ceremony and talk to others at the reception.  I think they used something like Skype to make it happen.  It made my aunt so, so happy! Just a thought if you know anybody who can get it set up. I wouldn't think it would be too hard. I use Skype and it's not hard at all to set up.

Julie

stantokm

Jesus Christ, people.  She asked ONE QUESTION: how should she walk down the aisle?

She did NOT ask:

What is the etiquette in this situation?
Is it weird that I'm having a ceremony even though I'm already married?
Should I call it a "remarriage" or a "vow renewal?"
Did I spell/type every word correctly?
Can I still do a wedding dress/bouquet toss/cake cutting if it's a vow renewal?

OP, you can call your ceremony whatever you want; technically, it's a vow renewal.  A remarriage refers to a second (or third or so on) marriage.  My friends just had a vow renewal ceremony and they walked down the aisle together and I think that's your best bet.  I'm sorry that people were unkind to you.

Julie2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-the-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:82c36de0-5915-4518-94a4-a7047fbce51bPost:42e85a64-3f0e-42da-901d-0c867c9bb3e4">Re: walking down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]Jesus Christ, people.  She asked ONE QUESTION: how should she walk down the aisle? She did NOT ask: What is the etiquette in this situation? Is it weird that I'm having a ceremony even though I'm already married? Should I call it a "remarriage" or a "vow renewal?" Did I spell/type every word correctly? Can I still do a wedding dress/bouquet toss/cake cutting if it's a vow renewal? OP, you can call your ceremony whatever you want; technically, it's a vow renewal.  A remarriage refers to a second (or third or so on) marriage.  My friends just had a vow renewal ceremony and they walked down the aisle together and I think that's your best bet.  I'm sorry that people were unkind to you.
Posted by stantokm[/QUOTE]

Well said, stantokm!! I wish I could copy/paste the part about "She did NOT ask:" to soooo many threads where vow renewals are the topic! I was blessed to have people with kindness and tact tell me I was using the wrong terms when I first started planning my event. In my opinion, it says a lot about a person when they stoop to rudeness and picking on spelling errors to try to make themselves look better.

Julie

Ajuliana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-the-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:82c36de0-5915-4518-94a4-a7047fbce51bPost:38bdb2f7-b150-4bff-905a-86bd5317e52f">Re: walking down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you are already married you can't get remarried.  Therefore having any traditional wedding elements (walking down the aisle, dress, bridal party, <strong>cake</strong> cutting) <strong>is a no no.</strong>
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No cake??  I don't think I would go to that party.

</div>

SilverSarahB

Convos like this make me think of how crazy the wedding industry has built this whole thing up.  Anyone having a big wedding celebration is ridiculous, since marriage is, at its core, the religious, legal, or social joining of two people.  Everything past that is optional.  All "ettiquette" (in quotes because it IS less "fact" that many wish to understand) and traditions and customs past that IS optional...white dress, even having an aisle, having flowers, providing food, having guests, dancing, djs, registries, honymoons, rings, photographers...all optional.   So why don't we jump all over that as being shallow, as well?  You want to wear a white dress?!? Seems like you're not content to be joining with you're one true love for the rest of your life...how sad.   And I say this absolutely understanding that I want some of these optional things for myself, I do not exclude myself from the craziness of the wedding industry.

I don't get why the OP's version of optional is so much crazier than anyone else's.  I never had.  Reading hundreds of these threads (which, to be fair, are ALWAYS exactly the same) hasn't made me see it.   I don't see why "pretty princess day" is said with disdain, or why wanting a vowel renewal to have characteristics of the cliched wedding day is a reason for the snide comments and eye rolling that always ensues.  

I think the "rudeness" that is interpreted is because posters WANT the OP to feel guilty.  The tone in these threads almost always goes to "You're so shallow/vapid/unfulfilled to have even thought of this, hate yourself; repent and join us" within the first 10 posts.  

I understand that the posters here will continue to post here, that their opinions will not change, that their style of posting will not change, and that unless some brilliant poster comes along and can reconcile ettiquette with my point of view, my opinion won't change either.  My advice for the OP is to seek out other forums where talking about your upcomming special day wont' be attacked. Seek them out, and forget about this post.  TK is great for a few things, but don't be afraid to walk away from conflicts such as this.  It doesn't mean the dissenters win, just that they get the last word. 

icefog34

Haters.  If you want to have a wedding because you were unable to do so before, then HAVE A WEDDING!  Have your beautiful wedding gown, have your fiance walk down the aisle with you, have a reception afterward.  Do what you want to do and have dreamed of doing.  I do think that having any parties that people would feel obligated to give gifts might be in poor tastes, but all that other stuff....go for it.

lagonza

I think you should walk down the aisle together.  You're already partners working together.  You deserve to have the ceremony you wanted to reflect the marriage you and your husband have.  We almost did a tiny family only wedding with a 1 year vow renewal/party because my grandmother got very ill and it was more important that she be there.  I was lucky enough to avoid the situation, as she became well enough for surgery, but I would have done the same thing.

Some posters have a point, that some may be offended, blah blah.  They don't have to come!  You may consider calling it a vow ceremony, rather than a re-wedding, just to ease some people's woes. 

Also, be sure you don't ask for gifts of any sort, as the very fact that you're doing this now is a statement that you're well off enough to do it.  That may ease some people's tensions.

You may not have to worry about that, though, depending on your guest list.

You can find other ways to honor your parents in whatever you do for the after-ceremony, be it a traditional reception style party or just a small gathering.

Do what makes you happy!!

BeallBride

I think that will look very nice with you guys walking down together -)

BeallBride

Yes walking down together will look so nice  : * - )