Are First Dances Boring?

cat1121

Everyone seems to be doing elaborate first dances these days. My FH and I were thinking about doing a waltz, but we aren't going to be hanging from the ceiling.

Does anyone really watch the first dance? Or the other ones, for that matter?

What's an appropriate time length for a song before people start to snooze?

Does it matter if they snooze?

danieliza1127

I think the idea of needing to have a fancy first dance is just a new fad and nothing to worry about.  Just pick a song that is meaningful to you two and dance however you want, regular slow dance or whatever.  Yes people do like to watch the bride and groom's first dance, but like I said, you aren't expected to take dance lessons or do anything choreographed. 

MandK9

I think it's nice to look at the bride's and groom's faces for a minute when they first start to dance, because they're all gushy over each other which is sweet... but then yeah, it gets boring for me. 

I say it doesn't matter what the guests think, for this topic.  This is an opportunity for you and your new husband to share a special moment, and if the first dance is really a special moment for you, I say you do it.  I won't be doing a spotlight first dance, but that's not to say we won't be dancing together at all.  I just don't like the spectacle for me personally.

So, yeah, I guess my opinion is, in this rare exception to the rule, screw what the guests think.

aerinpegadrak

I prefer the middle-school two-step, personally.  I like watching the couple hold on to each other and whisper sweet nothings.  It's the only real time alone you'll get together unless you specifically build in some breather time.  Plus, choreographed dances don't photograph very well unless your photographer has dance experience as well.  My photographer has had a few choreographed dance pictures on his blog, and they're all blurry.  And I think that a choreographed dance isn't really fun to watch unless it's really polished, otherwise it's just kind of awkward.

Beachy730

Yes they are boring, but they are just one of those parts of a wedding that people know they will sit through.  H and I were both even bored during our dance, and it was only a 3 minute song.  During the father/daughter dance my dad and I were bored (we have a great relationship, but its definitely not a mushy one), and were about to have the DJ fade it out when my flower girl who is my  cousin came running up so we picked her up and she danced with us, then the ringbearer came too.  H had the DJ fade out his song with his mom.  And we didn't do a WP dance.  Our bar had reopened right during the dance time, so a lot of people were over there, which was completely fine with us.  H and I had our first dance before dinner, and anyone who really wanted to watch the other dances stayed at their tables.

nhelene

I think 2 - 2 1/2 minutes is plenty long.   First dances are generally expected, and I mean that as in "Your guests will expect you to have one so they won't be too bored/put out" and not "Your guests expect it so you have to do it"

cat1121

Phew. That helps.

The song we chose is 5 minutes. I don't think I can waltz that long. Or that I want to.

It's a duet, and it's hard to cut off or fade out.

I was thinking about doing a slide show for two minutes, before it kind of picks up and switches. Thoughts?

danieliza1127

I do think 5 minutes is way too long.  2.5-3 minutes is much better. 

If you're set on the 5 minute song, you could start it out and then have the DJ invite the rest of the guests to join you on the dance floor. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You can also have your DJ ask people to join your halfway through, or have your parents come dance half way through the song.

FI and I narrowed our first dance choices to 2 songs. One was 2.5 minutes and one was 5 minutes. That made the decision for us.

hz80408

Our song is 2:06. Short and sweet.

And I agree w/one of pp's...we're doing middle school dance style.  IMO, it's awkard to see couples tripping over trying to do fancy dance moves.

frogurt814

We did "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler.  I think it's about one and a half minutes long.  I think if you keep the dance short then it's fine.  Well, personally, I don't really care if it's a long song.  I'll watch for a bit and then probably start talking with the people at my table.

What's really important is what the song means to you and your FI and how long you want to be up there dancing.   As you can see from my siggy, the plain old boring dance can result in a really lovely picture.

Beachy730

We did the old middle school dancing too.  H would never go for some choreographed dance, and one of my BMs did at ther wedding the year before, so I thought it would look too much like a copy anyways.

Were you planning on doing a WP dance?  If so, then you can just have them join you on the dance floor halfway through the dance, and then your 5 minute song wouldn't seem so long,and it kills 2 birds with one stone.  I never thought a 3 minute song would seem long, and it definitely felt like it lasted forever when H and I were dancing. 

trix1223

5 minutes:  too long.  Even with a slide show to start.  Just choose another song, or as others have said, find about 2 minutes of it that you really love.  Or invite other couples on the floor to join you.

I really don't like "cutesy" choreographed first dances.  Unless the couple are really dancers, they seem forced to me.  The couple is just trying to hard to be clever.  Perhaps the first one was clever.  Now they're just lame copies of a youtube video.

Find a short and sweet dance.  And then dance with your new DH.  It doesn't have to fancy, or clever, or cute, or funny.  I prefer sweet and heartfelt any day.

2dBride

If you think your song is too long, I would suggest asking the members of your wedding party to come up and join you after, say, two minutes.  That will be the signal for other guests that it's ok for them to come up, too.

Belle2Be

I don't think they are boring at all. Its one of the basic parts of a wedding, like cake cutting and bouquet tossing.

mysticl

I think doing a waltz is perfect.  Try practicing at home to see how long you can waltz.  A basic box step is not too fancy. 

Don't worry about doing one of these Youtube over the top crazy dances.  Just people going for the "wow" factor, it's not required.

bbyckes

We kept our first dance short and sweet.  It went by really fast and afterward, a couple of my friends thought it was really sweet.  I'm glad we did the first dance, but we didn't do any of the other spotlight dances.  IMO, those are really boring, not so much the first dance.

kimp67

I'm not sure how long our song is, I think a little over 3 mins.  Personally (hope I don't get attacked for this)I don't care if our guests are bored for those 3 mins.  It's going to be a special moment between my new hubby & myself.  It's one of the things I'm most looking forward to that day. 

mysticl

Kimp67, I'm right there with you.  If people don't want to watch the dance they can go to the bar. 

MrsG2B83

The first 30 seconds or so are like "awwww", then most guests go back to what  they were doing. But it's more about  the couple, forget them.

Our song is beautiful but it D...R...A...G...S...so I kinda want to make a mix to cut it down to about 2 minutes.

If you want to keep the guests attention, maybe put a slideshow of pics behind you. I was at a XIV Anos party last night and they did that for the father daughter dance. IT was sweet.