dollar dance help??

beckarussell

ok so i get from posts most ppl have neg thoughts about dollar dance...but my question is are there any of you for it??my dj recommended it...i never heard of it or seen it before   the dj said they had one at every wedding he's been too.  my FI  said the wedding he has been to had it too  i live in midwest illinois  personally i dont wanna charge ppl to dance with me but they say its a good fun or something the guests get into..  my FI is up for the idea for honeymoon cash but im very un sure!??!

Lisa50

If the dollar dance isn't a tradition in either of your families, I'd say to skip it. 

bsims726

If you haven't seen it before, I would suggest looking up videos on Youtube. Personally, I don't want it for my wedding, I feel guests will give all the money they want in the cards they bring and I don't want nobody pinning up my dress. However, if I attend a wedding with it, I wouldn't think it bad because everybody has different preferences and as a guest, I am not required to participate. If you're worried there will be low participation, I would ask some friends (or even your bridesmaids if you have any) and get their opinon because I am sure they know you're guests better than anyone on here. Good luck.

bunni727

If you have never seen or heard of it before, it is likely your family hasn't either. The only way this is appropriate is if it is a true cultural tradition (I know of Polish familes that do it, and some Italian lineages). If not, it just looks like a money grab.

Also, as far as I know the couple shouldn't start it; usually an uncle or someone initiates it.

travistanya

In my circle, we do it. I think it is a nice way to visit with the guests for a couple minutes. If people don't want to participate then they don't need to.

kitty02kat

It's def a mid-west thing, or at least thats been my experience.  I've seen people who's families almost "expect" it to be there (because "everyone is doing it") but the bride and groom dont want to ask for money- so... they've donated the money.  One of them worked in a cancer ward in a hospital so she todated hers to American Cancer Society.  I don't remember where the groom dontated his money to, but it was something family related.  May be something to consider... but- if no one will miss it at your wedding- then skip it if you're not comfortable with it.   

saacjw

I'd say if you haven't seen it before, you might want to not do it. It's typical in some circles but not others. I've been to a wedding where it wasn't traditional in the bride or groom's families, but the dj suggested it, and it turned out really awkwardly because no one really knew what to do. However, at a cousin's wedding, it was a big hit and the DJ had to cut the songs off with people still in line, so it totally depends on the family. 

MyNameIsNot

If you've never seen it before, don't do it.  While it is rude and tacky, you can sort of get a pass if it's normal in your family.  

We went to a wedding a few years ago where the couple heard about the dance on a show or something.  It isn't done in either of their families or among our friends.  It was the most embarrassing, awkward thing ever.  No one knew what to do, and everyone was at the tables asking why they would pay to dance.  

HobokensFury

If it's not common if your area/circle/culture skip it.

harpsdesire

It's really only doable without awkwardness if your family and social circle is familiar with the concept.

Otherwise the DJ has to explain, "Get money out of your wallet, pin it to the bride and you get to dance with her for like a few seconds!" 

People who aren't used to it don't usually get too excited about that idea.

kosantowski

Skip it if it's not a tradition. Your guests shouldn't have to pay to dance with you.

skippylouwho

I live in Ohio - that's Midwest to us. Most people I know find dollar dances cheap, tacky and tsateless. Not to mention boring.    If any of my kids had had dollar dances at their weddings I would have left the room until they were over. Yes, it was completely up to them to have or not have them but I wouldn't have watched.  I don't want to see people paying to dance with either my DD or my DDIL. ick.

Lark2013

First of all, guests are NOT required to pay to dance with you at a money dance.  If they choose to dance with you during that time, it's because they want to give you money.  If they didn't want to pay, but still wanted to dance, they would do it later.

In case you can't tell, I am pro money dance.  Of the weddings I have attended that have had one, people usually pay $1 to dance with the newly weds (seperatly, of course:), and those who want to, pay more.  My friends FIL made a rose of $20 bills and used that to buy his dance.  If your FI has seen them/wants to do one, I'd say go for it. 

saacjw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dollar-dance-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:87858207-7462-4bb3-9295-100409c8e8aePost:8611d894-ce7f-4646-b719-4b2ad97d3359">Re: dollar dance help??</a>:
[QUOTE]I live in Ohio - that's Midwest to us. Most people I know find dollar dances cheap, tacky and tsateless. Not to mention boring.    If any of my kids had had dollar dances at their weddings I would have left the room until they were over. Yes, it was completely up to them to have or not have them but I wouldn't have watched.  I don't want to see people paying to dance with either my DD or my DDIL. ick.
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

<div>I think it's more of an upper Midwest thing- I'm from Ohio too and had never seen it done there, but my fiance's family is from Minnesota and it's stadard in his circle. I also know that my cousins in Wisconsin do it and it was a major part of my aunt and uncle's wedding in the 70s. If it's common in Polish and Scandinavian traditions, it makes sense that you'd see it alot more in Illinois, Minnesota, and Wisconsin than Ohio. </div>

eirwyn

Most brides have a little purse or something to put the bills in. I've never seen anyone actually pin the money to the bride, and I come from a huge Polish family where the Dollar Dance is done at almost every single wedding. Some brides have a little table set up near the area where they're dancing. The table has a jar (like a tip jar) and a bottle of booze with a shot glass. The guests put $1 (or whatever) in the jar, take a shot, and then slow dance with the bride for a couple of minutes. I think that's a neat variation on it.

Personally, though, I don't care for it. The lines are usually long, so the DJ often lets it go on for four to five songs. Any less, and people start groaning and calling for more songs. The guests who don't participate are sitting there bored because it's usually in the middle of the dancing, when everyone is in party mode. Now they get to sit there and chit chat instead of dancing while waiting a half-hour for the Dollar Dance to finally end. Yawn.

My brother and SIL's wedding was the only wedding I've been to that didn't have the Dollar Dance. I was so relieved. The party wasn't interrupted, and nobody was bored.

megsch88

I agree with a lot of women on here that it is a certain type of region that has the dollar dance. I am from ND, and it is very common in this area (as well as MN) to have the dollar dance. Unless it is a tradition or common in the area, I probably wouldn't do it. If it has been done in your family before or you're from an area where it is common I say go for it. :-)

jesslynn1012

I'm pro-dollar dance and don't find it tacky (and I'm from Ohio, so I'm sure region has nothing to do with it).  I think it's a fun tradition, and at all the weddings I've been to it's been somewhat of a competition between the bride and groom to see who collects more money.  I've been told that it's nice to get a personal dance with those guests who want to participate (and everyone who says "you don't need to pay to dance, you can dance later"-odds are, people aren't really gonna dance with you at your wedding when there's so much going on)...

sleepyb

I agree with the PPs that have stated that you should only do it if it's a custom in your area/family etc.  We will be having one.  My FI is Vietnamese so his family will probably be confused but mine (Cajun) would be confused if we didn't have one.  But, we'll limit it to 2 or 3 songs.  Also, at the weddings where I've seen it done, other people are dancing on the dance floor as well - dancing doesn't just stop so everyone can watch the couple.

NovaMetzler

Every wedding I've ever been to has had the dollar dance. But we will not be having it at our wedding. I just think there is something wrong with dancing for dollars - especially at my wedding! I live in Nebraska and it is very common here. Plus I don't want to waste all that time dancing with other people when I can be dancing with my new husband!

RichNicci4211122

I too am pro-dollar dance.  Just like one of the others said, we use a bag for the dollars and each guest gets a shot before dancing with us.  I have never been to a wedding (here in Ohio) where there wasn't a Dollar dance, and the vast majority of the guests participate.  Plus it gives you a few seconds with each one of your guests one on one to thank them for coming.

tamrahelmer

I don't think a dollar dance is tacky at all, but almost every wedding I have been to there has been one. Its common around my area, and almost expected. I plan on doing it, and I know my guests are already planning on it, because people have already said they want to dance the dollar dance with me. It really depends on your family, culture, and expectations I would guess.

odustudent22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dollar-dance-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:87858207-7462-4bb3-9295-100409c8e8aePost:1bf0c793-4f26-4f9a-a527-8a5dd2efdf7d">dollar dance help??</a>:
[QUOTE]ok so i get from posts most ppl have neg thoughts about dollar dance...but my question is are there any of you for it??my dj recommended it...i never heard of it or seen it before   the dj said they had one at every wedding he's been too.  my FI  said the wedding he has been to had it too  i live in midwest illinois  personally i dont wanna charge ppl to dance with me but they say its a good fun or something the guests get into..  my FI is up for the idea for honeymoon cash but im very un sure!??!
Posted by beckarussell[/QUOTE]

I'm with you....my FI wants to do the dance, and it is common in our area I guess (I have been to two weddings since moving hear and both had it...one was well organized and one was very awkard and way to long).  My mother thinks its tacky and is begging us not to do it, his family was very disapointed when I brought up the idea of not doing it...I just want to make everyone happy (and dancing with all those people is NOT something that sounds fun to me)

BMSawa

I think the DD is rude.  Guests already are buying you at least one gift, maybe more depending on bridal showers, bach parties, etc.  Plus, they are giving up their entire day, possibly traveling, money on gas, hotel charges, and who knows what else.  As far as it maybe giving you time to visit with everyone, most DDs I have seen done really only have each person dancing with the bride/groom for about 30-45 seconds because everyone needs to fit in. 

If you were dead set on having it, you could always change it a little bit though if it is a tradition.  Instead of asking for money, you can put a twist on it and have everyone who would like to participate put a piece of advice on marriage in a jar, or their best memory with you, or something like that.  Cheesy and corny, yes, but most people get a kick out of cheesy and corny!!!