Weekday ok for wedding?

lostsoule77

I have always wanted to get married on my  deceased mother's b-day.  I have just gotten engaged and we would like to get married in September 2011.  Her birthday would be on a Thursday.  I was going to get married on the Friday or Sunday by her b-day since those are more normal for weddings.  My sister tells me if I want it on our mother's b-day that I should.  So, how do people feel about a wedding during the week? 

Michelle My Belle

My wedding is on a thursday this yr - april 22. if you want it do it! its your day and if you have alot of people from out of town that you "have to" invite but cant truly afford it - it may help cut down on cost b/c some people will not be able to come out during the week - thats a plus and minus depending on how you view it - also for out of town guests, the room rates in hotels are usually cheaper also...just remember its your day - follow your heart and not what people tell you is the norm!

[Deleted User]

I'm not into Friday weddings, let alone Thrusday.  

If you don't mind people not coming do it.  

danieliza1127

It would make it really difficult for anyone that has to work and/or travel in from out of town.  If you're okay with that, and okay with the fact that many people might decline the invitation, then go ahead.  Your nearest and dearest are really the best ones to get opinions from because they're the ones that know you and would actually be attending.

duckie1905

It is hard enough for many to plan on attending a Friday or Sunday wedding.  A Thursday for a lot of people would be out of the question.

Talk to your "must have" guests.  See if the people that you really want to be there would be okay with it.  If they aren't either deal with the fact that they won't be there or pick another day.

trix1223

Your mom's b'day will always be a special day in your life.  Your wedding will also always be a special day in your life.  Why not just have two special days?

I've never understood someone at best inconvenciencing their friends and family, and at worst sacrificing their guest list because of a square on a calendar.

jmland1

Mine's on a Monday...you'll save TONS of money!

lostsoule77

I was thinking of the inconvience it would be which is why I wasn't considering it until my sister said why not.  Just wanted to see what other people would think.  Either way it would end up on a Friday or Sunday.  I'm having a Jersey wedding with a budget of $8000 (if I can save it that is!)    Saturday is def. out for us.  I don't know how I'll even do it with this budget.  I'm not very crafty, but I'll figure it out when I have to. 

Thanks for all of your help.  I'll def. ask some more of my family, but am leaning towards picking another date. 

Blusieme

My mother also passed away & I wanted a wedding on her birthday. But her's is in Dec & we dont want to wait another entire year to get married, so a April 2010 wedding worked a little better. 

Back to your question, :-) I just wanted to share that I understand why you want that day - b/c I've also lost my mother & I understand wanting that day.  

I suggest you stick w/ the Thursday. Back in the day I remember Thursday used to be a 'happening" night at clubs in the city, just as much as Friday/Sat. Also, If people are really close to you, they will attend the wedding. Even for people traveling distance....its just one day difference. 

Plus after its all said and done, you will have the day that you wanted. 

~Best wishes. 

BuildABride

I went to a Friday wedding last year, and it was well-attended by 150 people. Almost all of them, however, were locals. As some other have said, just be sure you're OK with low acceptance from out of towners.

With a Thursday wedding, that's 3 work days the OOT people would have to take off - Wednesday to travel, Thursday to attend, and Friday to travel (or to stay into the weekend).

stacelace22

If you are on a budget any way....and are considering a Friday wedding, I would say go for it. The people that are closest to you are going to be there. If you are want a small wedding then......the Thursday wedding will surely cut down on your cost for venue and number of guests.

OR...

maybe you want to have a small wedding ceremony on Thursday and have your reception on the following Sunday...to as to help out your guests with work and travel. Just a thought  Good luck planning...and whatever you choose is the right choice.

lostsoule77

Thanks for all your help guys!    I would only have 4 families that are out of towners and they are all family and make any trip out here longer anyway.  I'll check with them before I book anything of course.

agk0125

I personally wouldn't do a Thursday, but that might make me a hypocrit since I'm getting married on a Monday.

Some important things to consider when picking a day: the kind of wedding you want to have (size, vibe, etc), how large you want it to be, your budget, and the lifestyle and flexibility of the people closest to you. Then act accordingly.

Kpetty1010

Look, its your day and you should do it whenever you want. If you are looking to save some money do it during the week. That is what we are doing, we are getting married on a monday.  and if people really want to make it they will make it happen. My future grandfather-in-law, is thinking about not coming since the day that we are getting married happens to fall in the first week of deer season. But dont change your day to make everyone else happy, its your day you do what feels right to you. that is the best advice that my mother gave me with planning this wedding

hanron007

I just got married on a Monday morning. It went really well and I couldn't have had a more perfect wedding day but it does depend on the type of wedding you want. I only invited family and really close friends and everyone I wanted to be there was, but if you want a larger wedding with all of your friends you should recognize that it might be a lot to ask of people that aren't really close to you. 

lostsoule77

I honestly don't have a whole ton of friends and neither does my Fiance.  I do have a kind of large family, but all that I have asked have said to go for it.  I think I'll just keep my options open for now.   
We're thinking September 2011 so I have 20 months.  We will have to book something somewhat soon being in Jersey and knowing that September is now a pretty popular month.  When I get my list down and I start checking venues I suppose I'll see if they will even do a wedding on that day and how much it would save or cost me. 
Thank you all so much for all your opinions.

kimberlyann1974

I am totally doing something very similar.

Theres more to it of course.. I am getting married on a Monday. It's my grandma's birthday AND it's also the day of our first date...February 15th. I wanted to honor my grandma and my aunts were very touched. Luckily for me it happens to be a holiday and most everyone I know will have the day off...and my wedding is tiny.

But I looked at what I wanted and made sure my most important people could be there..and they can, with the exception of FI mother...but it has nothing to do with the date.

I say if it is what you want..and you are cool with some people not making it...then do it. You WILL get lots of questions as to why...but you will find that a lot of people are completely understanding when they hear your reasoning.

Btw..another bonus for me...because we have a very small budget due to my FI being from Canada and having to pay tons of legal fees, as well as various other financial heartaches popping up on us...a weekday wedding can often be much more affordable.

lostsoule77

Thank you so much for your support!

leathia

I'm getting married on the Tuesday before Christmas. It's taking place at night and a lot of people will have that wednesday, thursday, and friday off anyways for the holidays. It may be an inconvienence bc a lot of his family lives in a different state, but we love the date and its saving us $500. We're paying for our own wedding with a budget of only $4000, so its better for us. and if no one shows up, we'll have the time of our lives by ourselves!

aerinpegadrak

As with any date you're considering, run it by your VIPs (immediate family, intended WP, anyone else you must have there) and see what they say.  We were considering a Monday, but MOH couldn't commit because of her husband's job, so we're doing a Friday night.  (We're also not having a rehearsal so people can get into town on Friday morning if necessary.)

There are all sorts of ways to honor your mom: putting a locket with her picture in your bouquet, using her favorite colors and/or flowers, dancing to her favorite song, having a special candle or flower arrangement on the altar in her honor...  Even if you can't get married on or near her birthday, you can still make her a part of your day.  I wouldn't get too hung up on the date, especially if you need to be flexible for budgetary reasons.

brokenhallelujah

I'm doing a Thursday wedding. It's during the summer, so most people are using it as their summer vacation and staying here longer to enjoy the beach & sites. I saved a lot of money doing it on a Thursday which is why I chose to do that.

Do what you want to do, but make sure the people who are most important to you can be there. Congrats on your engagement!

AllyM10

Just another thought... are you having attendants?

I have a friend who got married on a Tuesday.  Having to take 2 or 3 days' vacation for her wedding was not appreciated by those of us in the wedding, but it was necessary because she wanted hair/makeup done the day of and there was a rehearsal at 2:00 pm (!) the day before.  Especially if your friends only have two weeks' vacation, you should consider whether this is something they will do willingly or not. 

And, of course, it is not cool to demand they take the whole week off of work before the wedding to be available for errands, bridal lunches, etc.  (Seen that too... and the bride lost a lot of friends in the process.)

So if you're willing to work around your attendants' schedules, I think that's fair.  Rehearsal the night before so they only have to miss one day of work if they're local.

Other than that comment, go for it if you're comfortable having a smaller guest list and/or only locals.  And be considerate -- serve dinner at a reasonable hour and expect a lot of guests to leave around 9 or 10.  They're probably going to work tomorrow. 

Festiva

Which holds more meaning...
the specific date
or
having nearly everyone you invite come and stay the entire event.

If you're up to doing a quaint event (personally I love those) - then keep the date, it's special!!!  BUT- if you'd rather do something bigger then the Thursday date is just not going to yeild the wedding you want.  People love you but they will find it too difficult to re-arrange their work-week for a wedding. 

dsouldiva

Weekday weddings are generally more inconvenient and costly to attend (days off work etc) for guests and I personally wouldn't do one, but that said I've been to a few now and always just been happy to be there to join the celebrations., as I would always make the effort for my close friends.

If the date is very significant to you then you should go for it.

It's a good way of making sure it's just your true friends there, just be sure to give everyone plenty of notice to book time off of work.