I always assumed that when I got married I would keep my maiden name. I feel very strange and anxious at the thought of taking another person's name - and I always had, even as a young girl. I understand that today - it is not necessary to change your name when you get married, and I intend to keep my maiden name.
I am very much in love with my FI. We are getting married the summer of 2011. I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with him. He is upset that I won't "take his name", however, he is willing to accept that.
However, his family, of course, has a thing or two to say about it. His mother states - in a very dramatic way - "She won't change her name?! It looks like I won't have a daughter-in-law then!"
His twin brother continues to bash my decision, telling me "that's what lesbions" do and that I have no choice in the matter. He then picks on his brother that he's "marrying a les-bo" and that he's "not a man". (immature, I know, but they are the same age)
I really do not feel close with his parents or brother at all. They come across to me as rude and insulting to people's life decisions (besides this one now). This is very different than how my parents are. I never felt comfortable to be myself around them, ever, because they are very harsh to judge and talk about others rudly behind their backs. Even if I did decide to change my name down the line, I don't want to share their name just because of this feeling. I feel close to my family and do not want to leave that. Getting married now-a-days does not mean leaving my family to join his.
This has nothing to do with my love for my FI. Having my name does not mean that I love him less. I had made this decision way before we even met.
How do I deal with the family? For now, I plan to just ignore everything. However, I don't want my FI to resent me later for this.