Catholic Wedding

thales8833

My parents are really REALLY pushing a Catholic wedding. I am Catholic but my fiance is not. We were not planning on doing a Catholic wedding because we were trying to keep it neutral and due to timing. There is Catholic Mass on Saturday evenings at 5 pm. Which means I have to work the wedding around that, including setting up the reception and ceremony and still managing to get myself ready. Any advice on any ideas on how to organize my day or another approach at it?

unchatenfrance

Where is the reception site in relation to the church? You can have the wedding at 3, and have the cocktail hour start at 4 or 4:30, depending on how long the ceremony takes and how long it takes to get to the reception afterwards. And with the wedding at 3, you have plenty of time to get ready and take BP photos.

How much "set-up" for both the ceremony and reception will you have to do yourself the day of?

thales8833

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-wedding-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:8ebab957-c576-4065-a177-edf74e5d4415Post:c445165b-4840-442b-8d19-92803fa171fe">Re: Catholic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Where is the reception site in relation to the church? You can have the wedding at 3, and have the cocktail hour start at 4 or 4:30, depending on how long the ceremony takes and how long it takes to get to the reception afterwards. And with the wedding at 3, you have plenty of time to get ready and take BP photos. How much "set-up" for both the ceremony and reception will you have to do yourself the day of?
Posted by unchatenfrance[/QUOTE]

<div>The reception site is about 10 minutes from the church. I never thought about doing a cocktail hour but that would be perfect! I just couldnt think of something to fill that time. The reception hall will do the set up for me and my decorations will be minimal because I want things pretty simple. I'm sure I could explain what I want to someone in my family or a friend and they would make sure it got done correctly. I just worry that I will feel rushed getting ready that morning. Thank you so much for the input!!</div><div>
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thales8833

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-wedding-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:8ebab957-c576-4065-a177-edf74e5d4415Post:86473950-2679-47e6-b345-828af1ab15eb">Re: Catholic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you and your FI need to decide, without your parents input, what is the best decision for the two of you. There is a catholic board under the cultural wedding boards, and those ladies know a lot about the rules, and can help you.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you so much! I will definitely look into that!</div>

artbyallie

Is it important to you to have your marriage recognized by the Catholic church? If so, you don't need a full mass, but you would need to be married in the church or you will no longer be allowed to receive communion.

How does your fiancé feel about Catholicism? He would not need to convert, but would have to agree to not interfere in your raising of Catholic children.

Liatris hit the nail on the head. If you haven't already discussed this together, you need to do so ASAP.

MyNameIsNot

Don't have a catholic wedding for your parents.  Sit down with your FI and discuss what you really want your ceremony to be, and how you want to include faith in that, and make a decision together.  

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_catholic-wedding-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:8ebab957-c576-4065-a177-edf74e5d4415Post:73debe97-23db-4e25-bbef-076839e47032">Re: Catholic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't have a catholic wedding for your parents.  Sit down with your FI and discuss what you really want your ceremony to be, and how you want to include faith in that, and make a decision together.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

I agree.  If you and your FI have a Catholic wedding, it should be because you both agree to all the stipulations involved in having one-including that your children have to be raised as Catholic, you have to have pre-cana, and whatever else is required by the Church to recognize you as validly married by the Church.  If any part of what they require isn't what you and your FI really want, then I would forgo a Catholic wedding.  The decision needs to be made by you and your FI-regardless of what your parents want.

stantokm

I'm in the same situation as you--I'm a practicing Catholic and my fiance isn't.  We're still getting married in the Catholic Church, but we aren't having a full Mass (since less than 25% of the guests will be Catholic and won't be able to receive Communion).  He's cool with all the pre-Cana marriage prep and raising our kids Catholic, so make sure that your fiance is on board.

If your fiance is a different denomination, you could maybe get his minister/rabbi to co-officiate with your priest.

Calypso1977

Is it important to you to have your marriage recognized by the Catholic church? If so, you don't need a full mass, but you would need to be married in the church or you will no longer be allowed to receive communion.

How does your fiancé feel about Catholicism? He would not need to convert, but would have to agree to not interfere in your raising of Catholic children.

Liatris hit the nail on the head. If you haven't already discussed this together, you need to do so ASAP.

this.

Ajuliana

If there is a 5 o'clock service, I presume your church has their own time slot for wedding ceremonies.  I would consult your parish office.  IF they for some reason leave it up to you, the normal time in my area is a 2 o'clock service, ending soon after 3, then generally people have cocktail hours at a venue 20 minutes away starting at 4.  Entrance at 5, dinner at 5:30.  

A lot of folks are not very devout when they are young and get married, and then come back to it when they have children.  I'm not sure why people always comment on stories like these and say "Don't do it if you don't really care about the faith", etc. etc.  Someone else's faith is their own business.

My mother was not Catholic, my father was a cradle Catholic, and she only converted after they had their second child.  Now my parents are very devout and raised all of us in a every Sunday church-going, Catholic school attending way.