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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Changing your name?
I was just wondering what everyone was planning on doing. I really want to hyphenate my name for a number of reasons, the most important reason being that my last name is important to me, and I don't really feel like I'm becoming a part of his family (my FI and I have discussed this, and we both agree) we feel like we sre starting our own independant family. Plus, I don't think I should have to give up my last name. I know some people use as their middle name, but I still want it to be my last name. I thought about just keeping my last name and not even bothering to hyphenate, but I want some way (other than my ring) to publicly announce I am married and have started a new family. My mom did this two for mostly the same reasons, and she has had a hell of a time becayse she is K. G. on some forms, K. R. on others, and K. G-R on others. She is a doctor so she had alot of confusion with getting all her liscences necessary because of the confusion. Her best advice is whatever I do, make sure I have the SAME NAME on everything.
What are your ladies thoughts on this? I would love to hear other opinions and reasons for keeping your name, hyphenating it, or changing it. I've also even heard that some couples make an eintirely different last name by combining the two names. That is interesting.
What are your ladies thoughts on this? I would love to hear other opinions and reasons for keeping your name, hyphenating it, or changing it. I've also even heard that some couples make an eintirely different last name by combining the two names. That is interesting.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Changing your name?
The only way that I would have though twice about it was if I had an established career where I was known by my maiden name and it would be hard to change to my married name- some sort of writer, tv personality, etc.
[QUOTE] Because of this, it seems more logical to me to have the same last name as my husband and my future children than to have the same last name as my father.
Posted by cschuma2[/QUOTE]
Good point. I thought about that as well. That is another reason that I am hyphenating my name.
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_changing-name-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4318-6c3d-4ae3-a90b-871d081bf3cePost:500c6373-9f72-41f6-9595-8ac70b1893f5
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_changing-name-1_.0
Personally, I'm keeping my name. There's lots of reasons for not changing, just like PPs and others have lots of reasons for changing their names, but in the end it comes down to doing what you want to do with your own name.
The only issue I've run into is that my company's HR software doesn't recognize hyphens, so my insurance card and W2s have Myname Hisname (as opposed to Myname-Hisname). This hasn't been a problem.
Oh, and plenty of people made checks out to Lisa and Jason Hisname for wedding gifts. However, the banks have been understanding and just ask me to sign my correct name as well as the name on the check when we deposit it.
[QUOTE]I am not changing mine. FI is very supportive. Simply, it's my name and I like it the way it is. It's worked fine for over 40 years now, and I see no reason to change anything. I am also named after my late father, and we share the same initials, and I want to keep it that way. We won't be having kids together, and his son already has his name, so no issues there. I will still be married to him and wearing his ring, and will be no more or less married either way. So no biggie to us. (Had I wanted to take his name, he wouldn't have had a problem with that either. It was really up to me.)
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Can I pretend I wrote this? Pretty much sums up why I didn't change my name. In addition to I didn't want to deal with all the fuss.</div><div>
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Planning Bio | Married Bio
[QUOTE]I am taking his last name. I'm traditional and don't see a problem with changing my name.
Posted by shopgrl3177[/QUOTE]
There's no problem with it! I didn't want to offend anyone- to each her own. I was just intersted in what other ladies thought about the topic.
Hyphenating was not practical due to the length of the names. Hyphenated, my name would have 24 characters. I changed my last name to share the same last name as my husband but after the lenghty and annoying process would not do it again.
[QUOTE]I just added my married name to my given first, middle, and last names. I chose not to hyphenate or take my maiden name as a second middle name.
Posted by twilight.rose[/QUOTE]
<div>This is what I am doing too. That way I keep my maiden names but still take his too, without the possible confusion of a hyphen. For the most part, I will really just be Erica- HisLastName, but legally I will still have my middle name and my maiden name. </div>
[QUOTE] Your mom is right though, have the same name on everything. Less trouble that way.
Posted by Cynthia1207[/QUOTE]
Oh, heck yeah. Pick one way and stick with it. WAY too confusing if you switch back and forth, or put it one way some places, and another way other places. Choose whichever way you want, but only do it one way.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing your name? : Oh, heck yeah. Pick one way and stick with it. WAY too confusing if you switch back and forth, or put it one way some places, and another way other places. Choose whichever way you want, but only do it one way.
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]
<div>But realize some places will choose to change it for you and a lot of people don't know how to alphabetize a hyphenated name so it may take several tries before they find you in a database.</div><div>
</div><div>Signed,</div><div>The girl who spent 10 minutes at the pharmacy counter insisting she had a Rx to pick up when they said, "but you're not in the computer!"</div>
40/112
Also, I find it hilarious when the wife mentions the husband changing his name. Most men react the same, my FI said... "that's not even an option". Funny how the woman is expected to change her name but the man doesn't even have to consider it as an option.
[QUOTE]I just kept my last name. It's my name. I love all 3 of my names. I also have a bit of an issue with changing when my husband wouldn't be changing. He wanted to keep his name, and I did too. Our kids will have his last name and possibly my last name as a second middle (my husband has his mother's maiden name as a second middle).
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
<div>This exactly! Just because we don't share the same last name won't make use any less married. </div>
are you expecting to give birth to morons?