Last Name-What are you doing

amyjo700

Hello,
I'm toying with what to do about my name change, I'm considering dropping my middle name and taking my maiden name as my middle name and taking his last name.  I own a business with my brother and our legal paperwork will have my maiden name so I was considering having that as my middle name and professional I'll be Amy Maiden Name Grooms Last Name, and personally just not using my middle name on things. 

What are you doing?

HobokensFury

I dropped my maiden name and took his last name. I had a complex as a kid by having a different last name than my mother ( this was before it was common) and promised myself I wouldn't do it to mine.

DeannaCW

I'm dropping maiden and taking his. I've never really considered not doing it, not hugely close with my dad's side of family so don't have a bond with that name. And I don't want my kids to have a different last name than me, don't want to be the odd one out in the family.

random4180

Dropping my maiden name and taking his. I've never really considered anything else and I love his last name.

annieoldfield

Dropping maiden taking his, decided based upon a combination of hating mine, liking my FIs and liking the idea of having the same name. 

Spunky414

I'm dropping mine and taking his. I don't have a relationship with my parents and I'm glad to share a name with someone who treats me like family rather than the people who happened to birth me. 

JoanE2012

I'm taking my FIs name.  And FWIW, I like my last name better.  But I'm too traditional. 

MyNameIsNot

I left my name alone.  The whole idea of changing my name seemed bizarre and illogical to me.  But what I did has nothing to do with what you should do.

In most places, you can only have one legal name.  If you need to leave your legal name as is for business reasons, you probably won't be able to legally change it on anything else.  That doesn't mean you can't use a different name informally, but you generally can't have two different full legal names for different uses.  

DramaGeek

I originally used both last names, though I never changed my name legally.  A little over a year ago I dropped H's name all together and just went back to using my name.  I'd been using only my name professionally so it was easy to make the switch back to just using mine socially as well.

In your case, if you want to use your H's name, I would suggest not changing it legally but using his name socially.  That way you don't have to change all the paperwork for the business, but you are still identifying with your H's last name.

calliopeia2013

I am keeping my name.  I like it, and can see no good reason to change it.

AdeleDazeem

I kept my name legally.  While I have professional reasons for doing so, I also have personal ones. 

I go by my husband's name socially.

GoodLuckBear14

I kept my name.  I already established myself in the legal profession and you have to practice under your legal name.

DramaGeek

Stage, that was what I did.  The problem is consistency and remember where you used which name.  Other people were also confused as to which to use and would make their own decisions on what my name was.,  When theatre peole would introduce to me to someone as Drama H'sName, it perpetuated the problem and it got all kinds of crazy.  I've found one name, even when it's different from H's, to be so much easier.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

My husband and I each kept our names the way they were on our birth certificates. (He has 2 middle names, I have 1.)

Way back when I was in high school, it randomly occured to me that my somewhat long, uncommon, hard-to-spell last name would not be a good candidate for hyphenation (even though my husband has a short and simple last name). At which point I thought, "Oh well, I guess if I get married I'll just keep it as it is, then." And I never found a good reason to think any differently.

We would like to have children and our compromise is that they will have my last name as a second middle. (My husband's second middle name is his mother's maiden name - which she moved to her middle name when she got married. So it's also sort of a family tradition.)

PJSPJS

Probably hyphenating.

MrsGandthebeag

I took my husband's name.  I never thought twice about it before hand.  After I did it, I definitely felt sad for a while and like a part of my identity was gone.  Now a year later it doesn't phase me and I love it.  So, my point is, I think it's totally normal to question what you want to do.  In the end, you're the only one that can decide what's right for you.

MoxieMickie

We're each keeping our own names. If you want to be called Mary Smith Jones instead of Mary Jones, you might need to hyphenate. If you simply want to keep that as part of your name, you're fine with the last name as middle name. I too know a lot of American women (many academics but not all) who have done the Mary Smith Jones route. Although that's how they sign their names, most people call them Mary Jones. Their work email addresses also only have the one last name.

ootmother2

I kept my maiden name but my daughter made her last name her middle name and took her new husband's last name.

RamonaFlowers

I completely dropped my maiden name. I had my bio-dad's last name, but my step-dad raised me, and I grew up with my "family" name not being the same as my actual name. I felt no attachment to my maiden name, but I like my first and middle name, so it just seemed silly to hang on to my maiden name in any aspect.

That being said, that was what worked for ME. If another woman feels attached to her maiden name, I don't feel that I have any right to tell her that she should just suck it up and completely drop it.

If you want the same name as your FI, but don't want to completely "lose" your maiden name, there's nothing wrong with hyphenating, or making your maiden name your middle (Or second middle) name. And if you like your full maiden name just the way it is, there's absolutely nothing wrong with just keeping it that way. It's YOUR name, YOU are the person that needs to go by it "for as long as you both shall live", so do what makes YOU happy.

shine882007

Taking FI's name.  I actually can't wait!! I have never thought twice about keeping my maiden name. 

StephBeanWed61502

Check your state's laws about exactly what you're allowed to change upon marriage.  In NY, we can't change our middle names on a marriage certificate (you have to go through the more-burdensome legal name change process), so my only option was to drop my maiden altogether or hyphenate.  I thought our last names sounded dumb hyphenated (my last name's German, his is Spanish, it's one of the more awkward collections of syllables I've encountered in my life), so I just dropped my maiden.

As for legal documents, if you're talking contracts and stuff, you won't have to go back and re-sign them if you change your name, since you signed them with the name that was correct as of the date the document was signed, so it's not like you'll have to go back and re-do everything.  You would, however, have to update your name on bank accounts, corporate credit cards, etc.

Lisa50

Nothing.  I did not change my name. 

Shirie

I am planning to do the same thing you are doing. I like my last name and I am going to keep it. I do not use my middle. So my name will be First Name, my Maiden Name and his Last Name. 

Liane28

I live in Montreal, Quebec (Canada) and the law here states that a woman MUST keep her birth name even after mariage.  I think, having been given the choice, that I would have changed my last name, but I don't really have the choice. 

MelTimm27

I have always looked forward to taking a new surname one day, not for disliking mine but just for the excitement of being someones wife! Unfortunately, Im not too keen on my furture husbands last name, but theres no question that I will be changing it, Im looking forward to becoming a Mrs!

I actually plan to change my second name as well as I dont think it will work with my new surname... But thats ok - I dont really like my second name

1mobags

We are thinking of taking a brand new last name...... Not mine not his but ours.

lagonza

I can't wait to drop my last name!  My last name is Gonzalez but I don't look hispanic at all.  I also teach in a very small, rural town where hispanics are few and far between, so I get called Miss Garcia, Miss Gomez, Miss Rodriguez, you name it...

Food for thought: (I'll be honest, I didn't read every single comment, so sorry if this is a repeat)

Celebreties go by their maiden names in their professions because it is how they are known in their field.  Privately, they use their married names.  An example is Miranda Lambert.  She's technically Miranda Shelton, but she uses her maiden name on albums and was very public about it during their engagement. 

As long as he isn't offended, it's an option.

Fernella

I'm just adding his name.  Fernella Symthe Polo.  I love my maiden name as it's an unusual spelling of 'Smith'

catloverd

Dropping mine. I don't like my fiance's last name. It's so common, it's annoying. But I hate my last name since it connects me to a family that I don't have a good relationship with. I also want our children to share the same last name, and so I decided to take his. I was seriously considering just picking a random new one, but then I realized how silly that was. Ah well, at least I get naming rights on the future children.

gafoster

My dad has 2 daughters and no son's and no nephews.  I'm dropping my middle name and taking my FI's name as my last name.  I plan on passing my last name to a child as their middle name also since our last name pretty much stops with us.  I'm not Hyphenating simply because it would be absolutely ridiculously long and hard to say.