AW Thursday

angelsong21 · April 2012

I'm off work today, my first class was cancelled, and I'm not motivated enough to drive to Denton to go to my second class so I'm at home working on invites and schoolwork. Yaaay to sleeping in!

I just got a call that FI's stay was extended a week. I'm actually really happy about it -- the more time there, the better. Apparently FI is not happy about it AT ALL. They are a bit concerned by this, but I can't imagine this is a surprising reaction. When you've been counting down the days to get to go back home, you finally make it to two weeks and then you find out that's not going to happen, it's probably pretty upsetting. Not sure that its a cause for concern, though.

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

I'm kind of in the middle of this wedding stuff alone and its not so much a fun place to be. I can't seem to get any help on our day-of timeline, I can't ask FILs any questions about any of it, our venue needs a menu in 2 weeks and I have no idea where to even begin, etc.

professorscience · April 2012

Amy, I'm glad you're getting good news! Just take deep breaths and try to remember the most important part -- the marriage! The rest of it will happen.

Re: coworker email. Yes, it was very hard to compose this last email in a way that was both constructive and "stfu and do your job."

crash2729 · April 2012

Amy- I can't imagine that it's an uncommon reaction.

*hugs*

cwaggoner07 · April 2012

I'm about to go have lunch with FMIL so she can 'apologize and explain'. Whatever. I'm so nervous I feel like my heart is going to fall out of my butt.

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:2fc69693-2902-464c-a65f-e39de65547a5">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm about to go have lunch with FMIL so she can 'apologize and explain'. Whatever. I'm so nervous I feel like my heart is going to fall out of my butt.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

<div>I forgot all about this! I would feel the same way. :( Let us know how it goes when you get back. GL!</div>

professorscience · April 2012

Carrie, if it makes you feel any better, as a biologist, I am 98% certain one's heart cannot fall through one's butt.

FebDallasBride · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:4ef7929d-4f26-4603-b78e-4fa62f6d86f1">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : Is it bad that the song from Bring it on just popped into my head? "PREPARE FOR DOMINATION...." lol.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Spirit Fingers!

FebDallasBride · April 2012

Amy, in regards to day-of timeline, I have one in my planning bio I think. I googled a ton of them and just meshed them together as I best saw fit; I got advice from my photographer as to how she preferred the flow prior to the ceremony to be, and worked around the schedule of my hair/makeup girl's arrival

ktwed1 · April 2012

In Response to Re:AW Thursday:[QUOTE]Carrie, if it makes you feel any better, as a biologist, I am 98 certain one's heart cannot fall through one's butt.nbsp; ; Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

HeeHee!

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:deb77178-311a-4e3d-927e-2a4a18d0c50c">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]Amy, in regards to day-of timeline, I have one in my planning bio I think. I googled a ton of them and just meshed them together as I best saw fit; I got advice from my photographer as to how she preferred the flow prior to the ceremony to be, and worked around the schedule of my hair/makeup girl's arrival
Posted by FebDallasBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You.are.awesome. Thank you so much! Our venue wants their own timeline filled out, including all the order of events, timeline, who is giving a toast and in what order and from where in the room, what we want announced and when, how we want to run the buffet line, who is keeping our dressing rooms keys, who is packing our cars, who is taking the gifts, etc. etc. I stared at those papers for a few hours and gave up. I was counting on Melody to help us with it but I know that she is not up for that right now. So thank you, I will look at this tonight. :)</div><div>
</div><div>How is your DH doing, Wendi? I've thought about you guys often over the last week. </div><div>
</div>

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:7f53bbc3-baf3-4757-8727-4690fd3a535b">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]Carrie, if it makes you feel any better, as a biologist, I am 98% certain one's heart cannot fall through one's butt. ;)
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>HA! I love you guys!

</div>

FebDallasBride · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:74b97c8e-cf7f-41d7-bce5-0210fc916aec">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE] How is your DH doing, Wendi? I've thought about you guys often over the last week.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
He is getting better, thanks for asking :)

His first appt with the therapy guy was Monday, and he told him this next Monday they'll start recommended treatment so he had a week to review everything. There's a light at the end of that tunnel, but he told him to keep dealing with it how he has been until then (which is usually 6 beers and a few cigarettes). Monday he goes back on the Nicorette, which he was using until the big bad panic attack 3 weeks back.

As far as his GI Bill, we got a confirmation e-mail from the VA Education department stating that he was (finally) entered into the system and should be expecting payout within 4-6 weeks on that. DH decided he's going to get a part time job in addition to the GI money to keep me from stressing over anything. Although he was doing good job at cleaning the house I don't bother keeping up.

Today he is dealing with school (he's at Richland now, transferring to UTD in fall). They decided to post a "payment owed" to his account since he updated his address to out of district mid-year (after our wedding). He's arguing that they shouldn't be able to do that once classes have begun, and that it should apply towards future semesters only, which makes sense to me.

cwaggoner07 · April 2012

Dang it, Amanda you were right. Nothing fell out of my butt.
And it went ok... I'm probably the easiest person to apologize to because my number one goal in life is to make those around me as comfortable as possible.
And she promised to come to the wedding even if Fi's ex-stepmom was there. We are all so blessed.

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:d4118ea1-367f-4bb7-b601-f3eac145517a">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : He is getting better, thanks for asking :) His first appt with the therapy guy was Monday, and he told him this next Monday they'll start recommended treatment so he had a week to review everything. There's a light at the end of that tunnel, but he told him to keep dealing with it how he has been until then (which is usually 6 beers and a few cigarettes). Monday he goes back on the Nicorette, which he was using until the big bad panic attack 3 weeks back. As far as his GI Bill, we got a confirmation e-mail from the VA Education department stating that he was (finally) entered into the system and should be expecting payout within 4-6 weeks on that. DH decided he's going to get a part time job in addition to the GI money to keep me from stressing over anything. Although he was doing good job at cleaning the house I don't bother keeping up. Today he is dealing with school (he's at Richland now, transferring to UTD in fall). <strong>They decided to post a "payment owed" to his account since he updated his address to out of district mid-year (after our wedding). He's arguing that they shouldn't be able to do that once classes have begun, and that it should apply towards future semesters only, which makes sense to me.</strong>
Posted by FebDallasBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's bizarre --usually once you register and classes start, it doesn't matter if you move to China... you don't owe anything else. That's ridiculous, and I would absolutely fight that too.</div><div>
</div><div>I am SO glad to hear that he's able to get the help that he needs. What a huge weight off your shoulders too, I'm sure. It's so hard to watch someone you love go through something like that, especially knowing there's really nothing you can do to make it better. :( Hopefully he has or will gain some confidence gradually that this is going to get better, because it will if he works hard in therapy and does what he's asked to do at home by his therapist (assignments and such). How are you holding up?

</div>

cwaggoner07 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:d4118ea1-367f-4bb7-b601-f3eac145517a">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : Today he is dealing with school (he's at Richland now, transferring to UTD in fall).
Posted by FebDallasBride[/QUOTE]

Go comets!! :)
That's where I got my masters.

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:0ee34537-c37d-4bd6-a81d-2739d2ac4482">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]Dang it, Amanda you were right. Nothing fell out of my butt. And it went ok... I'm probably the easiest person to apologize to <strong>because my number one goal in life is to make those around me as comfortable as possible</strong>. And she promised to come to the wedding even if Fi's ex-stepmom was there. We are all so blessed.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is me, too! We had to take a StrenghtsQuest test at TTU and my #1 was harmony. When things aren't peaceful around me, when people are upset with me, when I <em>think</em> people are upset with me, etc, everything just seems to fall apart. So yeah, pleasing everyone else and making sure everyone is happy is pretty much a priority for me.</div><div>
</div><div>So did she actually apologize or was it like you thought it was going to be -- more of an, "I apologize, BUT..."

</div>

cwaggoner07 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:fcf428a8-93c6-4cad-b36f-ac072e2ddaba">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : This is me, too! We had to take a StrenghtsQuest test at TTU and my #1 was harmony. <strong> When things aren't peaceful around me, when people are upset with me, when I think people are upset with me, etc, everything just seems to fall apart. </strong> So yeah, pleasing everyone else and making sure everyone is happy is pretty much a priority for me. So did she actually apologize or was it like you thought it was going to be -- more of an, "I apologize, BUT..."
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

THIS. FI is always like, do you really care what other people think and I'm like YES. It's not an image thing or me being superficial at all.
And yeah it was an 'I'm sorry but' type of conversation.
The bright sides of all this is that she does like me and approve of me. She does NOT approve of one of her other DIL and it has caused such a divide in the family when they're both together.
Another bright side is that ALL of FI's siblings are in agreement that she be cray. FI's older sister actually called me a few months ago when things started blowing up to apologize FOR her. Which was totally unnecessary. So I'm not in this alone by ANY stretch of the imagination. The rest of his family is so great to me, and I can acknowledge that.

FebDallasBride · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:b5cc432b-4a32-49a9-9891-976c8c1b282c">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE] How are you holding up?
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

I am surprisingly well today. I have my moments, though. This gives me a whole new admiration for military spouses, because I could never imagine dealing with this in between deployments. The good thing for us is that this is it and he won't be going back. It kills me seeing him so embarrassed by this. PTSD wasn't even given the thought of being a disability until a few years ago, so he has repressed a lot of anxiety from Iraq in 2003-04, cause that's what they were taught to do. Anxiety = weakness.

I have been researching some resources for spouses of veterans, so I can have someone to talk to that sees these kinds of things, but I get so busy with work that another day usually goes by before I realize I didn't get anywhere. I may have to take a mental health day soon just to focus on that.

cwaggoner07 · April 2012

Wendi I really hope he gets over the embarassment of it, because I genuinely think attitudes are changing, people are becoming more aware of the conditions during deployment, and empathy for this is really increasing.
I don't personally know anyone who has served, but I can tell you that I see NOTHING wrong with needing help dealing with a traumatic situation. Many people have gone through less than war and needed some help dealing with their emotions.
My T&P are constantly with you.

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:e609d516-db93-49e8-89c2-86ca333c4de0">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : I am surprisingly well today. I have my moments, though. This gives me a whole new admiration for military spouses, because I could never imagine dealing with this in between deployments. The good thing for us is that this is it and he won't be going back. It kills me seeing him so embarrassed by this. PTSD wasn't even given the thought of being a disability until a few years ago, so he has repressed a lot of anxiety from Iraq in 2003-04, cause that's what they were taught to do. Anxiety = weakness. I have been researching some resources for spouses of veterans, so I can have someone to talk to that sees these kinds of things, but I get so busy with work that another day usually goes by before I realize I didn't get anywhere. I may have to take a mental health day soon just to focus on that.
Posted by FebDallasBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree - there's nothing to be embarrassed about in regards to him getting help. I know not only person-to-person do we all see that differently but also guys seem to have a much harder time with this concept than women do. You're right: "anxiety = weakness" is the mentality, but that's so, so not true. There is a major biological component to it but also its a fear that has been reinforced in some way. There is no weakness there. I hope that he comes to see that as being true.</div><div>
</div><div>You absolutely DO need to make yourself a priorty here. I say that being a total hypocrit because your story on trying to get around to talking someone and the day just blowing by you is exactly mine. I'm supposed to be going to Al-Anon and doing therapy appointments but (1) I haven't met my out-of-network deductible like FI has and they will all cost me $150 each, and (2) something continuously comes up to where I have to cancel or I can't schedule at all. Between school, working crazy hours, wedding appointments and crap I can't back out of at this point, my time is incredibly limited. Therapists don't usually respond well to, "Would you be open to seeing me at 9:00PM on Wednesdays?!" LOL. </div><div>
</div><div>We do have to make time for it though, because its important that we do whatever we can to take care of ourselves and help our loved ones pull through. I've had anxiety for a long time but I've never lived with someone who had it, so I don't fully understand how that all plays out, but I know for us and FI's struggles, it's important for me that I learn how to stop "helping" (aka enabling) and stop being codependent. If I don't do that, his recovery is in jeopardy. So not only is it important for me to take care of myself, it's important for me to learn and understand how to do these things for him, too. I think we just need 4 more hours in a day and then I'd get all this stuff fit in no problem!

</div>

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:92513082-bcb9-4b2b-a88c-c4fb95e05f29">Re: AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday : <strong>THIS. FI is always like, do you really care what other people think and I'm like YES. It's not an image thing or me being superficial at all.</strong> And yeah it was an 'I'm sorry but' type of conversation. The bright sides of all this is that she does like me and approve of me. She does NOT approve of one of her other DIL and it has caused such a divide in the family when they're both together. Another bright side is that ALL of FI's siblings are in agreement that she be cray. FI's older sister actually called me a few months ago when things started blowing up to apologize FOR her. Which was totally unnecessary. So I'm not in this alone by ANY stretch of the imagination. The rest of his family is so great to me, and I can acknowledge that.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly!! My mom and FI say this to me ALL the time. They don't get it at all.</div><div>
</div><div>Bleh, sorry you got the half-assed apology out of it. At least you do have the support of everyone else in the family and they all know she's craycray.</div><div><div>
</div><div>

</div></div>

crash2729 · April 2012

In Response to Re:AW Thursday:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW Thursday:Amy, in regards to dayof timeline, I have one in my planning bio I think. I googled a ton of them and just meshed them together as I best saw fit; I got advice from my photographer as to how she preferred the flow prior to the ceremony to be, and worked around the schedule of my hair/makeup girl's arrivalPosted by FebDallasBrideYou.are.awesome. nbsp;Thank you so much! nbsp;Our venue wants their own timeline filled out, including all the order of events, timeline, who is giving a toast and in what order and from where in the room, what we want announced and when, how we want to run the buffet line, who is keeping our dressing rooms keys, who is packing our cars, who is taking the gifts, nbsp;etc. etc. nbsp;I stared at those papers for a few hours and gave up. nbsp;I was counting on Melody to help us with it but I know that she is not up for that right now. nbsp;So thank you, I will look at this tonight. :How is your DH doing, Wendi? nbsp;I've thought about you guys often over the last week. nbsp; Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
I just talked to melody yesterday and she worked me through my stuff.
Reach out to her. She wouldn't wAnt you to stress.

Wendi,
That is a bunch of crap. That's why I hated DCCCD.
Im glad he's seeing someone. I hope things continue to get better. I can't even imagine having to deal with this.

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:4b8986ea-6db7-4984-8d60-21cf67bbdf17">Re:AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AW Thursday: I just talked to melody yesterday and she worked me through my stuff. <strong>Reach out to her.</strong> She wouldn't wAnt you to stress. Wendi, That is a bunch of crap. That's why I hated DCCCD. Im glad he's seeing someone. I hope things continue to get better. I can't even imagine having to deal with this.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

<div>I e-mailed her Tuesday but haven't gotten a response. I told her just whenever she was ready and available.</div>

crash2729 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:edfea83b-0aa2-464e-9bc5-a5e6ffc1e7ba">Re:AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AW Thursday : I e-mailed her Tuesday but haven't gotten a response. I told her just whenever she was ready and available.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
She did mention to me yesterday she was a little behind on this weeks events.<div>
</div><div>I thought she meant just because I hadn't picked my music yet. lol</div>

angelsong21 · April 2012

In Response to Re:AW Thursday:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AW Thursday:In Response to Re:AW Thursday : I emailed her Tuesday but haven't gotten a response. nbsp;I told her just whenever she was ready and available.Posted by angelsong21She did mention to me yesterday she was a little behind on this weeks events.I thought she meant just because I hadn't picked my music yet. lol Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

LOL! I haven't picked our music either bc FI hates my taste in music with a few exceptions. I have no idea what to choose. I figured Melody could give me some pointers when she's got some time. I figured if she was back, she was probably swamped and I told her to take her time, so I wasn't too worried about not hearing back yet.

FebDallasBride · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:4b8986ea-6db7-4984-8d60-21cf67bbdf17">Re:AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AW Thursday: I just talked to melody yesterday and she worked me through my stuff. Reach out to her. She wouldn't wAnt you to stress. <strong>Wendi, That is a bunch of crap. That's why I hated DCCCD.</strong> Im glad he's seeing someone. I hope things continue to get better. I can't even imagine having to deal with this.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

ANNNNND I got a call at 2:45 telling me they refuse to remove the charge because it's in the handbook, so he told them "eff you I am takin the GUARANTEED money from the VA to a different school if this is how you all are going to treat me"

Oh great.

crash2729 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_aw-thursday-132?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:fe077544-bfdf-4b0b-b089-e142313a1505Post:07ea5c09-cf31-4106-bc11-b4bead38aa8d">Re:AW Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AW Thursday : ANNNNND I got a call at 2:45 telling me they refuse to remove the charge because it's in the handbook, so he told them "eff you I am takin the GUARANTEED money from the VA to a different school if this is how you all are going to treat me" Oh great.
Posted by FebDallasBride[/QUOTE]
Wait....DCCCD has a handbook? lol. <div>What if he just goesback and changes his address to in-district? </div><div>Charge gone?</div>

AW Thursday

Re: AW Thursday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards