Fiances parents not involved....

hunny84

To me, it did sound like you want your fiance's parents to contribute... financially and otherwise.

My parents are hardly involved in the wedding, and my mom has not been involved in most of my life. My fiance's family is involved, but trying not be overwhelming involved.... we are paying for 90% of the wedding ourselves because his family is unable to contribute, my mom is unwilling, and my dad is only a little able to contribute.

However, I warn this bride to be cautious when approaching these feelings with her fiance... the lack of support financially and otherwise from my own family (mostly my mother) is extremely hurtful to me, now and throughout my life. I am joyful to be joining a family that is supportive and loving and I greatly appreciate that my fiance understands my mother's shortcomings as a parent and would never expect anything from her-- that would hurt me even more than her lack of parenting, to have my love angry about it... it's something I have to deal with and live with.

In America there does seem to me a cultural expectation that parents will pay for the wedding, particularly the parents of the bride... but no one should expect this. Families will volunteer what they are willing to contribute and that is that, it's rude to ask for more and the bride and groom need to accept what they are getting and plan their wedding with this budget... postpone the wedding and save if they desire something more grand than they can currently afford.

hbarbers

Wow, I forgot I wrote this post and just came back to see what everyone had to say.  Thank you to everyone that responded in whatever you said.  I really appreciate it.  And also thank you to those and understood where I was coming from when I wrote this.  It hurts when I come from having so much more than my FI.  He has tried his hardest to be closer but it has never worked.  At one point they lived only an hour away and never tried to visit.  In my opinion if you want to see your child, you need to make and effort to be a part of their life.  I talk to my mom sometimes three times a day and I wouldn't change it for anything.  His mom found out we were engaged because of facebook and his dad found out in the local newspaper.  I know everyone has their own opinion and that is fine because that is why I made this post.  But I was raised that your children are your number one priority and they come before anything else and you do anything and everything you can to make them happy.  And even if they weren't involved financially, it would have been great to hear from her once in a while.  But it is such a long story and I don't have the time to explain it.  Thanks again girls!!