Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How old is too old for a flower girl?

I want my cousin's daughter to be my flower girl.  (Which is actually a neat turn-around since my cousin was my mother's flower girl!)

Right now she's four.  I'm not entirely sure when she will turn five.  My wedding will be in about a year and seven months.  By then, she'll be six, maybe seven?

I know most people have flower girls who are about three or younger.  If she is seven at this point, is that too old?

Re: How old is too old for a flower girl?

  • melaniekymelanieky member
    First Comment
    edited October 2012
    I don't think 6 or 7 is too old to be a flower girl. I actually think that's the perfect age. I personally believe 2-4 year olds in weddings can cause headaches.
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  • I've seen girls up to 8 or 9 that have been flower girls.

    I think 7 is still a good age for a flower girl.
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  • My daughters were flower girls around the age of 6, and that was perfect. I think 3 and younger is way too young, you just never know what they'll do at that age!
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  • Agree with Retread. My flowergirl was 9 and had previously been a flowergirl at 1-2ish.
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  • She will be just the perfect age. Have fun.
  • Awesome, thanks guys.  I just wanted a few extra opinions about it.
  • Our flower girl was 10
     
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  • 8

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-old-is-too-old-for-a-flower-girl-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9eff45ee-4594-46b7-b26d-63e31a5160f2Post:2bb76929-f1f1-43f7-875e-5ad851742021">How old is too old for a flower girl?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want my cousin's daughter to be my flower girl.  (Which is actually a neat turn-around since my cousin was my mother's flower girl!) Right now she's four.  I'm not entirely sure when she will turn five.  My wedding will be in about a year and seven months.  By then, she'll be six, maybe seven? I know most people have flower girls who are about three or younger.  If she is seven at this point, is that too old?
    Posted by KellyBreanne[/QUOTE]
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  • I think 9 or 10 is too old. 6/7 will be perfect! Plus she'll probably have the necessary motor skills to actually toss the petals. Congrats!
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  • My flower girl was a few weeks shy of 8. She was so cute and perfect in the role! Her older sister (almost 10) was a jr. bridesmaid.

    It was also a neat turnaround for us - I was my uncle and aunt's flower girl, and now their daughter was mine and H's. It added a special element to it for sure :)
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  • I think thats fine. Mine will be three. To all the girls who say a three year old are a hassle you havent meet mine. She is more well behaved than most adults.
  • My niece is seven and she will be our flower girl this spring.  I remember being a flower girl in couple of weddings when I was six or seven.  I also think it's just about the right age.  She can get caught up in the excitement a little more, as opposed to a younger girl that doesnt understand as well.  My niece is super excited, and keeps trying to talk her mom into buying shoes to go with the dress- we keep explaining it's too early and she will outgrow them.  
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  • I was a flower girl at 14.

    Yes, 14. I was super excited about it. 6 is fine.
  • I am getting married in April and my flower girl will be 7! (actually turning 8 a couple months after) Totally not too old to be a flower girl. (in contrast, we are having two ring berrers, brothers, that are 5 and 7!) I don't really think it is a question of too old or young- as long as you are happy with the decision, and the child is happy to join!
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  • I'm getting married in May, my granddaughter will be 10, great granddaughter will be 7. Both will be flowergirls, and happy to celebrate with us.
  • I agree that as long as the little girl doesn't dub it a "baby job," then she's not too old for it.  Honestly, I think between 6 and 8 is the sweet spot, since they're old enough to understand what they're doing.

    That said, our flower girl (my goddaughter), was 23 months old.  It was a crapshoot going in (which we knew and were fine about), but she ended up doing great.
  • I'd say flower girls should be 8 or under, above that call them "bridesmaids."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-old-is-too-old-for-a-flower-girl-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9eff45ee-4594-46b7-b26d-63e31a5160f2Post:2bb76929-f1f1-43f7-875e-5ad851742021">How old is too old for a flower girl?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want my cousin's daughter to be my flower girl.  (Which is actually a neat turn-around since my cousin was my mother's flower girl!) Right now she's four.  I'm not entirely sure when she will turn five.  My wedding will be in about a year and seven months.  By then, she'll be six, maybe seven? I know most people have flower girls who are about three or younger.  If she is seven at this point, is that too old?
    Posted by KellyBreanne[/QUOTE]

    You want this girl as your FG and you don't know how old she is? How often do you see her? Do you know her temperment? Is she a difficult kid or easygoing? Does she have any special needs?

    You should probably get to know her before asking her to be in the party. It almost sounds like you want a FG and you're just picking the first available. The cost to her parents could be substantial and if you hardly ever saw my kid I'd decline on her behalf.

    If I'm wrong, sorry. But I have two kids in my wedding party (also my cousin's kids but I see them all the time) and I knew their birthdays, demeanors, everything before asking them. The people (any age) who stand in your wedding should mean something to you, not just be used for a photo op.
  • Agree 6 or 7 is perfect age.  We have 2 that are 9, and I've decided to make them more of Jr Bridesmaids, and they are really excited about it.
  • 6 or 7 is not too old.  The nice thing about having children who are a little older in your wedding is they will still be absolutely adorable and cute yet they aren't as likely to get upset or scared and refuse to walk down the aisle.  They also are more likely to be able to stand with the wedding party through the entire ceremony.

    I have my little 3 year old cousin as ring bearer and I'm a little concerned that he may not want to at the time although when asked, he's said yes, he wants to do it.  I'm prepared to have my dad on one arm and hold his hand with the other up the aisle!

    There is no age limit on flower girls or ring bearers.  My cousin and his wife had two older ladies (50+) as their flower girls and they had a boy who was 12 as ring bearer.
  • I agree. No brides seem to want anyone to tell them what to do, or, often, even offer suggestions. Why then should brides feel obligated to run their weddings by "tradition", which is just a lot of dead and older people's way of doing things. Don't choose those in your wedding for how they look (fat, thin or ugly) or how old they are. Do what you want! I've heard of 25 yo flower girls, and now, 50+. I'm delighted.
  • Our flower girl is 9 and our ring bearer is 1 year and 11 months. So our older flower girl will help the ring bearer down the aisle :)

    She had to order a junior bridesmaids dress and she will get the same jewelry as the bridesmaids but will wear different shoes (not heels).

    I don't see the difference in junior bridesmaid or flower girl aside from the title.
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  • I think 7 is the perfect age for a flower girl.
  • I have 2 FG's that are sisters and will be 6 and 7. I agree with PP that 3 or younger is too young. I've been to more than one wedding where the 2 year old FG is running around the alter during the ceremony and causing mass chaos.
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  • My fiancé's niece will be a few months shy of 12 at our wedding and she's our flower girl. She is super excited about it, too! She'll get the fun of throwing petals around, but she'll also have her own little bouquet. She'll also be getting the same necklace as a gift as my MOH and BM.
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  • I saw a picture on Pinterest where Grandmothers of the bride and groom were the flower girls... I say as long as the people who are doing it are having fun with it, there is no age limit! Do what you want, this is YOUR DAY!
  • I was a flower girl at 12 and was very happy with it. I think it just depends on the kid. If you like it and she likes it, it works!
  • I think seven year old is fine...

     

     

  • FI's 11yo niece asked if she could be a FG...she'll be 12 by the wedding.  It did seem old to me and I wondered if that would occur to her a little bit later (it fits the girl, she's a "thinker"....and I could see girls that age changing their opinion after talking with friends.  I decided that we should also include another niece the same age and ultimately told them to decide their title, though I did ask that they agree on the same one.  I know "Junior BM" isn't popular here, but I mentioned choosing that, FG, or inventing something else....secretly pulling for my suggestion of "Flower Ladies." 

    I plan to have them walk together, after the rest of the bridal party.  I am leaning towards putting them both in simple shift-style dresses the same color as the BMs with a sash in the accent color.

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