My fiance and I have lived together for nearly 3 years and are engaged to get married next summer!! We've got our venues booked, budget set, etc., but now we've hit a HUGE block in the road. My fiance wanted this pastor that mentored him as a teen and led him to leading worhsip at his church growing up. We recently met with him and because we live together, he said we'd either have (1) live apart until married, which is a year away OR (2) get legally married within the next 2-4 weeks with a little ceremony in his office, proceeding with marriage counseling then doing the big ceremony/reception in July of next year. In his eyes, with our choice to live together as Christians, we've decided to step out from under the full blessings of the lord. Getting married now would eleviate any temptation and allow for blessings to flow freely on our relationship through the process.
Problem is....we aren't wanting to do either!! Financially we are concerned about both. We are paying for our wedding ourselves and living apart would competely eliminate any chance to save. Also to me, getting married technically then getting "married" again a year later really doesn't make sense to me. Nor does it make sense to do marriage counseling afterwards. I have 2 boys so getting married now would affect our tax status as well as insurance, housing, etc. All stuff we know will change once we get married, but without having to save for a wedding it'll be fine then!!
I guess my question is....should we feel bad or cursed to decline the offer from his pastor and find a pastor that will agree to counsel us? Yes we live together, but due to our faith we have-from day 1- agreed that we will not have premarital sex and we haven't!! To me, that's what is important, not the fact that we live together! He thinks we're being selfish and not getting married because it wont be the way we want it and that we're ignoring Gods plan for us. To me, it just doesn't feel right!! It feels rushed and not the way it should be. I'm sure we're not the only couple who has ever lived together before getting married...... We are STRESSED to the max with this decision. Needing guidance....