I want our good friend to marry us but

pinuppaperdoll

I dont want him to have to be "ordained". I know its easy but in WV its actually a pain    Would it be okay to get married at the court the morning of the wedding day and have him perform the "ceremony" as if he were ordained. We are not having a religious ceremony at all but in WV you must be affiliated with a church in order to marry someone. You also have to register on the states attorney's website and then you are posted on there to be able to marry anyone. Thoughts?

aerinpegadrak

You have to affiliated with a church in Nevada, too, but Clark County accepted the paperwork from Universal Life Church (one of those online ordination sites) for DH's uncle.

ETA: If we weren't able to get him approved, we were going to have him co-officiate alongside the legal dude.

Belle2Be

I guess I don't see an issue with him being posted on the website? It's not really that big of a deal is it?

Either way, people are coming to celebrate your union, and its just a peice of paper.
Could you do a mixed thing? Have your friend say all the fancy stuff, then have the ordained guy step up and have you say the I Do's and sign the paper?

trix1223

What would be the point of having a do-over ceremony after the real deal hours earlier?  If I found out that I was being invited to a staged performance for a couple that was already married, I'd be pretty p!ssed.

When planning a wedding,  people often have to let go of parts of their "vision".  This is one that you should let go of.  I also think it would be very anticlimactic for you to have a pretend ceremony hours after you're really married.

LauraT25

You might want to check, because I'm not familiar with the laws in WV but often the online ordaining still counts as being 'affiliated with a church', and your friend would just have to fill out a form with your local courthouse to be registered and appear online.  Which shouldn't be a big deal, I wouldn't think? 

Just call the courthouse where you're getting married and ask them, they will tell you whether something online, like the Universal Life Church, is valid and what your friend would need to do to register.  NBD.

Edit:  And if you decide not to get him ordained, I think it's very distasteful to still have him stand up and perform a fake ceremony for your friends and family, particularly if they think they're witnessing the real thing.

sarahbourke

I dont see anything wrong with this idea and dont see how it is a fake wedding.  And to be honest I was thinking of doing the same thing.

Maybe its because I am not very religious and tend to do things differently, but getting married at the court the day before with a witness and then having your friend marry you the next day in front of everyone sounds fine to me.  You are still exchaning very real vows in front of everyone and they are still participating in a very special moment, I dont see how this moment is reduced or fake just beacuse you got a piece of paper signed the day before.

I say go for it!  I also think its amazing that you have a friend who is close enough to you that you want them to actually marry you and they are willing to do that for you.  I think its a great thing.

Belle2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_want-good-friend-marry-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:aa25a93a-70a1-4217-953a-522cd74b7291Post:19dd79f5-b986-4375-bc74-fa3749bdb640">Re: I want our good friend to marry us but</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want our good friend to marry us but : Actually, I'm quite religious, and I agree with your statement.  Which is why when military brides go to the courthouse to sign the paperwork before deployment or college students with SSI benefits do the public ceremony but don't file a license until years later, I have no problem with it. However, that is IF and ONLY IF they don't have a full on vow exchange and ceremony at the JOP and if there's a good reason for separating the two.  "The paperwork is just too much of a PITA and I don't want to deal with it" is a pretty pathetic reason for this though.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm fairly religious and I agree with the 2 of you. Actually my sister had a wedding and noone found out until years later that they had gotten married at the JOP earlier that week to cut some of the stress out, my parents were pissed but I still don't get why :)

LauraT25

Being listed on the website doesn't mean he has to put all of this contact information there.  He won't get calls.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_want-good-friend-marry-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:aa25a93a-70a1-4217-953a-522cd74b7291Post:e269a009-1166-47f5-8553-99bf92418b84">Re: I want our good friend to marry us but</a>:
[QUOTE]Being listed on the website doesn't mean he has to put all of this contact information there.  He won't get calls.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

Well that changes my entire opinion then. I had no idea. OP said that he would be listed on the website to marry anyone, and i took that to mean that people could randomly email him/call him to marry them.

aerinpegadrak

I'm sure he could also request to be removed from the database and have any future officiating privileges revoked if he's really that uncomfortable with it.  Just make sure that doing so doesn't affect the legal status of your marriage first, but I doubt it would.